Good manners cost nothing but mean everything. While the gift of etiquette in the world is one that is free to give, the simple offerings of being polite and kind--saying please and thank you, listening carefully, and making eye contact with people--can bring huge benefits to ourselves and those around us. They help us appear more confident, maintain more fulfilling personal relationships, lead us to prosper at work, and generally enjoy happier and healthier lives.
But what we may not have realized when we were (hopefully!) being taught these manners as children, is that when we learn about manners, we are learning about mindfulness. By living more mindfully--more fully intentionally--we can lead a more prosperous life in every way! That's because when we practice basic, good manners, we are showing those around us that we respect them and are considerate of their feelings, not just our own agendas. This makes them feel better and, in turn, more aware of how they might be more considerate of us.
Most of us are familiar with "the golden rule:" Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It is golden for a reason! Examples of good manners can manifest themselves in seemingly small actions and rewards--like getting the door for someone and receiving a small smile of thanks in return. No, ladies, when a man holds the door for you or gets your car door, he is probably NOT doing it to insinuate that you cannot do it for yourself; he is probably doing it because he was raised to respect and honor you, and maybe, just maybe, he wants to make you feel special and worthy.
Good manners are so much more important than many of us realize. They are the hallmark of civil society. They help us tap into empathy; they make us ask ourselves, "What is it like to be on the other side of me?" When we place ourselves in a scenario to feel what another person may be feeling, our words and actions automatically become more respectful. Manners can make or break crucial relationships and be the difference between harmony and conflict at home, at work, or even between countries and cultures on the world stage.
According to Emily Post, who is perhaps the most influential American writer on etiquette in the 20th century, "Manners are made up of trivialities of deportment which can be easily learned if one does not happen to know them; manners are part of your personality--an outward manifestation of one's innate character and attitude towards life." Manners are common sense, a combination of generosity of spirit and specific know-how. So...if they are so integral to civil society and living well, why does it seem that they are so often ignored in our modern society? The changing priorities in society shape the way we interact and behave. Some may lay the blame on generations like the Millennials and the iGen, or even GenZ. But ALL of us have contributed to the lack of good manners and etiquette in our society.
Reasons for the Demise of Manners in Society
1. Lack of character development. Not too long ago, good manners and etiquette were taught alongside reading, writing, and arithmetic in schools. They were considered integral in helping the young become successful adults. But today in most public schools, there is a lack of emphasis on comprehensive and interdisciplinary character development.
2. Texting & Emailing Changes in communication methods have affected our way of life and our manners. The use of indirect modes of communication like texts and emails doesn't require in-person interactions, and many of us have become overly reliant on these forms of communication. This can lead to misunderstandings and, in some cases, even offensive or rude exchanges. It's vital to be intuitive with people we care about/respect. Know when to pick up the phone or just have a face to face.
3. Social Media. Likewise, manners easily fall by the wayside on social media. When people don't meet in person to talk about things and rely too heavily on social media, they literally "forget" how to talk to others. Lack of personal interactions and connection makes us feel anonymous, which can easily lead to inappropriate comments and a lack of good manners and sense.
4. Television/Youtube/Video Unfortunately, the lack of civility, poor manners, and lack of etiquette on the part of famous people sends powerful messages to all of us, and contributes to the decline of manners in our society. These are supposed to be our role modes! But if we want a more polite and less divisive society, we ALL need to make efforts to create productive civil discourse...especially those in the limelight.
5. Busy Families. With both parents usually working, and kids moving from activity to activity, there may be a lack of time in the daily routines when parents have opportunities to teach and practice good manners and etiquette with their kids. Some of these connections have been lost due to fewer family dinners, visits from relatives, and family outings. These rituals may seem outdated, but there needs to be a way for families to connect and engage with each other so that young children have opportunities to practice socializing graciously.
So....what can WE do? We all say we want a more united and harmonious world. If manners are integral to achieving that goal, what can each of us do out there to make a difference? CAN we make a difference? Mother Theresa once said, "Do small things with great love," that's how you change the world. Admiral McCraven said, "If you want to change the world, start by making your bed" (which is, by the way, good manners, too!). In other words, by seemingly small gracious actions, we can make big, beautiful changes!
Guide to Making Manners Matter...in YOUR Life, and the World!
KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. It isn't always about you! If you know that your actions or words are hurting or upsetting others you care about or respect, STOP DOING THEM. Choose your words and topics wisely when engaging in conversation--online as well as in person. Show openness to various perspectives and monitor your choice of words and behaviors...even the small ones.
PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING. Take a clue from Mr. Darcy's playbook and practice listening and responding in social settings. It is tempting to multitask, but active listening means looking the person in the eye, not at your cell phone. Ask good questions and be thoughtful.
EYE CONTACT MATTERS! Whether a short conversation or a lengthy discourse, eye contact shows respect to the person you are speaking with. If you don't want to be in a conversation, get out of it graciously. If you are in, be ALL in.
THINK BEFORE YOU ACT. Be intentional in what you say and do.
SHOW APPRECIATION & GRATITUDE. Thank a Veteran when you see one. Thank the families of Veterans. SHOW THEM RESPECT! It shouldn't matter what side of the political fence you camp on. These are people who have dedicated their lives to defending your freedoms. No country is perfect! But everyone reading this blog? You have it pretty well by comparison to most. BE GRATEFUL.
COMMUNICATE INTENTIONALLY. Be authentic and sincere in compliments and praise. If someone does something nice for you, try writing them a thank you note! It sets you apart. And...if you don't have something nice or positive to say about someone, whether a friend or family member, peer or colleague, avoid saying anything at all.
SMILE! Be friendly and cheerful. Greet people with a smile. Of course, we should all be cautious with strangers, but that doesn't mean we should be discourteous in daily interactions. Smile at the cashier. The bank teller. Your Co-Worker. Even if they do not smile back.
BE HELPFUL. Hold the door for the person behind you. Lend a hand to others if they are struggling. And if someone is helpful to you, say thank you... make eye contact...and smile!
HONOR YOUR COMMITMENTS, BE PRESENT & ON TIME. If you say you are going to commit to something HONOR THAT COMMITMENT. If you say you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, BE THERE. Be someone others can count on.
TABLE MANNERS MATTER! It's the details sometimes: waiting until everyone is seated before digging in. Put your napkin in your lap. Chew with your mouth closed. Push your chair in when you leave the table...ANY table. You know the drill. It may be old-fashioned, but it's timeless!
CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF...AND YOUR PETS! It's just plain icky not to! Leave the world a little nicer than how you found it!
There you go! Now, I would like very much to hear from YOU! What manners matter most to YOU? Do you have any to add, or does one of these really speak to you? Tell me all about it. I promise to listen. Giving you mental eye contact, full attention, and respect.
And I will smile as I read them all. :)
Please, and thank you in advance!
One of the things that makes me most sad in life is when I am out to dinner with my family or friends, and I see other tables full of people who are on their phones. It makes me so sad when I see this because people are not connecting. We live in a world of screens and instant communication. And even though this is awesome, it often distracts from the real interactions in front of us. Families or friends out to dinner should be intentional about their time with each other and not on their phones the whole time.
ReplyDeleteWe should be intentional about spending time with the people we love because we don't know how long they will be with us.
A few of the manners that mean the most to me are actively listening, eye contact, and honoring your commitments, being present, and on time. Personally, I used to struggle with maintaining eye contact while holding a conversation which often told others I was not listening to them. I have improved in this very much, along with actively listening to others during conversations enough to imply my input when needed. It matters most to me when I am telling a story or need advice and the other person recalls points I mentioned, telling me they were truly listening. Finally, I was raised in a family that believed once you made a commitment, you must stick to it and honor it by being on time and doing what you signed up to do. This is most important to me when I make plans and for the most part I hardly ever back down from prior engagements. It helps me control my time management better as well!
ReplyDeleteThe biggest manner that matters the most to me is The Golden Rule. While I cannot recall the teacher, I distinctly remember sitting on the floor of an elementary school classroom with my peers as the nameless, faceless teacher uses a children's book to describe The Golden Rule to us. Ever since that day, I have worked to make that little kid glad that I remember that random afternoon at school. Beyond just being mindful of The Golden Rule, I think it exists in a vague, conceptual sense as well. I believe that regardless of one's intentions, some psychological force will cause one to treat the world around them with how they either see the world treats them or wish the world would treat them. Understanding and applying this concept of mine is what has helped me work on my temperance throughout my life and, in my opinion, has made me a kinder person overall.
ReplyDeleteGwendolyn Carricart
ReplyDeleteThe manners that matter the most to me consist of looking at someone when they are speaking, greeting others who just walked up, even when they are new to you, like a friend of a friend, and putting phones away when eating out with people. I find it disheartening when you are attempting to communicate with someone and they appear to be disinterested; eye contact, however, helps let a person know that you are actively listening. It is also uncomfortable when you are walking up to a new group with your friend and they don’t greet you; it makes it awkward and feel like you are invading, so I greatly appreciate it when others make you feel welcomed by greeting you, despite them not knowing you. Lastly, I look forward to going out with friends and family, especially when it comes to eating out, but it makes it difficult to enjoy your quality time with someone when they are constantly on their phone. This is something I have had to work on considering we live in a digital world, however, it makes meals more special when you focus on what's in front of you.
The manners that are most important to me are direct eye contact and politeness. To begin, eye contact is such an important manner to me due to when in a conversation, holding eye contact with the speaker shows your genuine interest and allows the speaker to feel acknowledged and to feel heard when being spoken to instead of ignored. I struggle to hold eye contact with people when speaking, but I do my best to make eye contact with others when they are speaking. Leading, another manner which is major in my life is politeness. It’s not difficult to be kind and give thanks, say please, excuse me, or even simply smile at somebody. I realize it’s easy to forget to say your manners at times due to some moments happening too quickly to even say anything, but if there is time and you forget, make sure to always go back and thank or do whatever you can. (It’s something I try to work on a lot). Especially giving thanks to somebody when they do a simple task such as holding the door, it is so simple yet so polite of a person, to take a second back and hold the door open, so the least a person can do in return is give thanks. Overall, the two most important manners in my life are direct eye contact to a speaker or when speaking and politeness.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to manners, what is valued most to me is compassion. I believe that compassion is the most beneficial infection to spread. To empathize with somebody and to act on such empathy is integral to a ‘good-mannered’ society. If we helped others in the same fashion as we’d hoped they would for ourselves, then the wheel of compassion may keep churning. In doing so, we uplift ourselves in a bizarre sense, as hopefully this pay-it-forward may find itself to you. It’s a difficult concept to continually act on—especially knowing that others may not have the same compassion—but by continuing with compassion, it may eventually alter someone else’s perception of self-interest.
ReplyDeleteThe manners that matter most to me is simply listening to me and not talking over me. When others talk over me to make their point without intently listening to what i have to say first is very frustrating for me; because when others do that it means they don't actually care about what I have to say, they just want to make their point and be right, which is a very selfish way of thinking. I am a very empathetic person who feels deeply about others and i respect them just as much, so this form of mannerism makes it difficult for me to be that way and become a true friend with somebody because of that boundary of respect.
ReplyDeleteThe manners that matter the most to me are having empathy in a conversation and when someone takes the time to listen. I appreciate when someone takes a moment to consider my feelings and what I have to say rather than dismissing me or disregarding how I may have felt in the moment. I also find it frustrating when I am trying to talk about something that someone about something that is important to me and people lack the mindfulness to respond respectfully, like perhaps laughing. I know I have my moments where I may not be thoughtful or compassionate, but I always try my best to own up to it, and I hope most people can learn to do the same. But at the end of the day, we are all human and bound to make mistakes in our manners and the way we communicate, and the best thing we can do is learn from them.
ReplyDeleteA manner that aligns with me the most is knowing your audience. I can recall a few incidents where someone did not know their audience where they offended someone’s situation. Knowing your audience is vital to practicing good manners because it helps you constrict your behavior to the specific expectations and cultural norms of whom you're interacting with. Whether it's fixing your tone, being aware of social hierarchies, or understanding the appropriate level of formality, recognizing these circumstances ensures you can show respect and avoid misunderstandings. This manner allows you to create positive open-minded relationships.
ReplyDeleteWhat I would consider as one of the most important manners to have would be being an active listener. It's very helpful to have someone understand a question that I'm asking or a solution that I'm coming up with. Along with that, I would say something small like holding the door whenever possible and always remembering to say thank you. It's always very nice to be around people that uphold mannerism even at the smallest thing.
ReplyDeleteThe manners that matter most to me would be active listening and respect. I believe respect is given rather than earned. If someone isn’t treating you with respect, I believe it is your choice on whether or not you want to continue giving them respect, but until you’re disrespected it’s important to treat everyone respectfully. Nothing is worse than speaking and realizing no one is listening to what you’re trying to say. It’s disrespectful to not actively listen to someone. Some people have the tendency to interrupt others in the middle of talking or automatically get defensive without trying to understand the person’s point of view. Manners are important to ensure everyone is treated fairly.
ReplyDeleteThe manners that matter most to me are how people treat service workers or anyone who looks different from them. I believe this shows a person's true character more than anything else. Treating others with kindness and respect, especially when there’s no benefit to be gained, is a clear sign of compassion. It’s easy to be polite to those in power, but how someone acts toward those who aren’t shows who they really are.
ReplyDeleteConsidering all manners, two that stand out to me are active listening and respect. When having a conversation with someone, you may have no idea how impactful it is for the other person. Possessing the ability to show you are genuinely listening and understanding what they are saying could mean more to them than you would ever know. I understand how much even a simple conversation or comment made can mean when understood by someone else and how hurtful feeling dismissed can feel. Active listening goes beyond eye contact and nodding your head, but being completely present in what they are saying and not thinking about other things in the back of your mind. Additionally, respect is extremely important to possess in all situations. For yourself, belongings, and others, having strong respect towards your surroundings and others around you communicates the important ability to put someone else before you.
ReplyDeleteThough I would agree with every instance of manners talked about in this blog, I personally appreciate active listening. I know almost everyone putting in a response on this blog has encountered the awkward situation of telling someone a long story, only to find out at the end, that they weren't fully paying attention. Though I usually dismiss it, I truly appreciate it when I can tell and know that I don't need to repeat myself. Not for the literal burden of speaking again, but for knowing that I am truly appreciated and respected by the other person to get their undivided attention. Additionally, I feel as though active listening will overall improve the relationship of communication, but also in priority of one another. Though it might sound a little selfish, I like to feel appreciated (with undivided attention!). Moreover, I like to know that someone cares for what I have to say. For instance, I feel so much gratitude when I tell someone something random and small, and weeks later they bring it up. They remember! At least for me, noticing and paying attention to stuff like that means the absolute world to me.
ReplyDeleteThe manners that matter most to me are knowing your audience and holding eye contact. When speaking to someone, it is important that you can truly understand the person and what they are trying to communicate. If they are confiding in you in regards to a vulnerable topic, it is critical that you are listening as well as both mentally and physically present with them in that moment. If you try to include yourself by making it about you, it can show a lack of attention as well as a lack of empathy. When you hold eye contact with a speaker, it shows a great amount of respect. It can also show that you are carefully listening to each and every word that they are communicating. I believe that these two manners are key to having a respectable conversation.
ReplyDeleteManners that matter the most to me are actively listening and thinking before you act. As a person who likes to talk a lot, I really value when people show me that they are paying attention to what I say because it shows me, they value me enough to simply listen, whether or not they indulge in me. I also enjoy returning this favor to others as I believe the act of listening can accomplish much more than meets the eye. In addition, thinking before you act is a sign of maturity. When decisions are made impulsively, they can easily be misunderstood or come across as harsh. Taking a moment to reflect shows a sense of responsibility and respect, not just for yourself, but for anyone who might be affected by your actions. It’s a thoughtful way to ensure your intentions are clear and your actions are meaningful.
ReplyDeleteOne manner that matters the most to me is spending time with people with intention and purpose. When I hang out with people, I want everyone to be fully there, and to want to be there. When someone is on their phone, and just nodding to what I am saying, I feel misunderstood as they do not have time to hear what I am saying and they are distracted.
ReplyDeleteA second manner that is important to me is eye-contact. When someone is speaking, I think it is vital to make sure you look at them and show them that you are listening to what they are saying. Eye-contact represents respect and that you were actively listening.
Two manners that mean the most to me are listening and respect, both of which connect with each other. It bothers me when people are not paying attention when someone is speaking, and they are being disrespectful by not listening. It makes me feel bad for the person talking because they are not receiving the attention they should be, and it feels even worse as the speaker. When I am talking and I see no one is listening to me, I feel disrespected and what I am saying does not matter. I understand that eye contact can be difficult for many people, but when someone is on their phone, talks over you, or starts talking to someone else they are not being respectful and a bad listener. People with these two manners not only respects others, but also gains respect for themselves.
ReplyDeleteThe manners that matter the most to me include tone when speaking to others, listening skills, and kindness. The tone when speaking to someone matters because it may affect the way they interpret their impression of the speaker. Continuing with manners that are utilized during a conversation include listening skills. When maintaining a conversation with someone, it's crucial to maintain eye contact when speaking to someone or being spoken to. Along with actually listening to what the speaker has to say and holding that conversation with them rather than changing the topic to something irrelevant. Showing kindness not only earns others to treat you with kindness but also creates a chain reaction for others to show kindness.
ReplyDeleteManners that matter the most to me is being polite while listening to others, because its important to give everyone a chance to speak their mind, as it shows attentiveness and creates an authentic conversation, without the need for phones and electronics. Also, I would say that holding the door open for others is one thing that my mom always taught me, because it shows that you are kind and helpful towards others. Lastly, my parents taught me and my sister to always have eye contact with those who are speaking as it implies respect and gratitude.
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing for me is eye contact and to speak loud and clear. Both show respect to whom you're speaking to and helps the person understand they are being heard and listened to. These manners often times can take you very far in life, whether in social life or even business.
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing for me is showing understanding and listening to others. It shows that respect to who you are talking to as well as showing that you're willing to hear people out even when you might not agree with what they are saying.
ReplyDelete- Peyton Van Hemert
DeleteThe most useful/ important manner to me, is eye contact, In today's society people are glued to their phones and tend to form their life around technology so much so that extends to everyday activities. A more specific example would be people staring at their phones at the dinner table or people looking at their phones when you try to talk to them. Eye contact demonstrates active listening and a caring mindset, making it so important when talking to others.
ReplyDeleteI think the most important manners to me are eye contact, and active listening. Whenever people are responding to me when I’m telling the story and not just listening, it makes it feel like they want to actually listen and understand what I’m saying. It makes me sad when people don’t really acknowledge me in conversations. Therefore, I try my absolute hardest to have good manners and always make everyone feel important and heard. I love eye contact because a lot of people show their emotions through their eyes. When I see eye contact, I can sort of understand how they’re feeling about what I’m talking about or if they’re interested.
ReplyDeleteDamian Rosales
ReplyDeleteFor me personally the most important manners are appreciation and gratitude especially when it comes to those closest to you. I feel that a lot of times we forget to acknowledge the daily goodness that people like our parents and friends really provide us. Our friends and family are often the cornerstones and cushioning of our lives, they are so helpful and offer their service so often we may forget just how vital they are. Being gracious helps to continue the continuance of good manners by acknowledging them in the first place as well. I firmly believe thanks to be an integral characteristic necessary for all those who truly wish to grow as a person.
To me, the manners that matter most are those rooted in quiet respect--the kind that sees effort, not just success, and offers recognition even when the outcome falls short. There's a quiet beauty in simple gestures: lending a hand to a friend who's stumbling, or offering patience when someone's voice holds uncertainty. These are the moments that reveal true character. What unsettles me is when respect is demanded by those who give none in return--when authority cloaks itself in superiority and silences others with sharp words. Respect, I believe, should be earned through empathy, not enforced through power.
ReplyDeleteThe most important manners to me is when someone is actively listening and present in a conversation. I find it very important for a person to be listening and acknowledging what I am saying to them if we are conversing. I find it rude when someone is on their phone or I can tell they really aren't paying attention during our conversation. To me it is very important to be an active Listener because someone should not feel like its difficult to make conversation.
ReplyDeleteTo me, the most essential aspect of manners to follow is the Golden Rule. Treating one another—whether it be a family member, colleague, peer, teacher, service worker, or stranger—with the same respect and politeness we would want is the bare minimum. It provides a foundation for healthy, strong communication and relationships while preventing conflict from arising. Following the Golden Rule also helps us be more empathetic and considerate of others and check ourselves in our behavior, as we cannot demand reverence from others that we will not bestow upon them. When we are sensitive to the needs, feelings, and situations of others, it allows us to engage respectfully in productive, meaningful dialogue. The Golden Rule also advises us not to let our differences create tension between ourselves and others. Throughout our lives, we will inevitably butt heads with others, meet individuals that we simple don’t “click” with, or irrevocably disagree with one another. However, rather than letting these incompatibilities sour our behavior, our responsibility remains to be civil and compassionate to one another.
ReplyDeleteThe most important manners is to treat others how you would want to be treated, no matter the individual. This common courtesy is important to me because it promotes empathy and fairness, which the world could use considering its political climate. Although seemingly always talked of as the most important manner, it is fairly uncommon in practice, which is disheartening as people tend to resort to malevolence without much consideration for others. Thus, treating others how you want to be treated through respect and civility is the most important manner one can exhibit, and should be universally agreed upon.
ReplyDeleteI love that we get to talk about manners as they are so important and many times brushed off. For me, the most important manners are those of smiling and thinking before acting, as both are rooted in kindness and intentionality, which hold close to my heart. One that stuck out beyond the rest to improve upon was the importance of listening, as I can surely improve within this area. I know, for me, in regards to my family, it can be very easy for me not to give them my full undivided attention and not express respect towards the people I am talking to. I want to work on this by setting all distractions aside and making the person I am talking to a priority in the time given, and to make the other person feel respected by my actions. Another aspect about manners that I want to carry with me is that manners are a way that we can outwardly display our mindfulness to others, and how it is not strictly about the way we suppose it should be. This truly stuck with me, as sometimes I can be so narrow-minded that I lose sight of being mindful through my actions and words to those around me.
ReplyDeleteAnother very high on my list of virtues is being a good listener. Listening is the first step to showing someone you care. It is not about how fast we respond to someone but rather how attentively we listen to that individual and give them our full attention. An act as simple as thanking someone or even holding the door open for them is something that stays with me. We might not even realize it, but small acts of kindness, like these can have a huge impact on others, bringing smiles to their faces and enhancing our own. Each day I practice these things, the smiles and "thank you" I receive, add positivity and fulfillment to my day and inspires me to keep it that way.
ReplyDeleteCommon politeness matters most to me. It is my biggest pet peeve when individuals are rude, especially if it is for no reason. I think it is very important to be polite in any situation because it displays respect for the other person and establishes a mutuality. Simple phrases such as “thank you” or “excuse me” can be beneficial in communicating what you are trying to discuss. I appreciate individuals who show general courtesy towards small tasks without having to think about it. Mostly when it comes naturally, those individuals stick out in a crowd to me.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, I feel like being able to treat people with kindness and gratitude is an invaluable skill when it comes to having good manners, and it’s always made a huge difference to me when others take the time to do so. It simply allows me to walk away from the interaction feeling good about myself, and it’s especially noticeable when someone doesn’t return the favor, such as my little brother on school mornings. I also think that general politeness and tone can go a long way, since I sometimes develop an immediate prejudice against people who might be rude, snappy, overly sarcastic, or even degrading during casual conversation.
ReplyDeleteManners that matter the most are being mindful of other people's space and being mindful of yourself (how you smell, how you talk, how you act). I also find much importance in general manners such as saying please, thank you, and "may I" instead of "can I". The reasons for the first two are that I generally dislike other people talking to me when I am doing something. If I'm listening to music in my own bubble, I don't mind the presence of other people, but I do mind someone talking to me mindlessly without any consideration for the fact that I'm busy. Constant interruptions are a very big pet peeve. Because of that, I'm careful to mind my own and only disrupt someone if necessary. I don't think conversation is needed to enjoy being around someone, and I don't mind being in the presence of other people and just my own thing.
ReplyDeleteBeing mindful of yourself is also important to me because first impressions really make a difference. The things I listed are all signs to me of whether I want to be close to someone or not. General manners are *very* important to me as I find it rude when someone demands something of anyone without at least attempting to be polite about it. Rude people are red flags. These also apply to me because I wouldn't like to present myself in a way that makes me look rude, disruptive, or without basic manners. How I utilize my manners defines me as a person to people meeting me for the first time or people who have known me in the long run, so I'm always careful to apply my philosophies to myself as well.
Manners that mean the most to me are eye contact and reading the room. I feel like eye contact is something that many people struggle with in today's society, as communication is mainly done virtually or digitally. This makes it feel almost unreal and inaccurate to how conversation is really supposed to be played out in real life. I feel like eye contact is important to show the person you are talking to that you are paying attention to what they are saying and that you care. I feel like talking to someone who does not maintain eye contact makes the interaction feel a lot more awkward than it does when you are looking at them. Reading the room is also extremely important, as it really does make a difference in what you say when you think about it first. Sometimes you might want to say something but it might not be the appropriate time to do so. Overall, kindness is the best action.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to manners the most important thing to me is eye contact especially when I am talking to someone I think it shows that you are actually loisteni ng to the person and what theyhave==ve to say instead of being distracted and thinking about other things. Another important thing to me is compassion being able to communicate your feeling can be really hard so to be able to have someone to be there for you is so important.
ReplyDeleteThe manners that matter the most to me are smiling and active listening. Smiling is very inviting and welcoming and it’s a lot easier to get along with someone and open up when you get positive feedback and don’t feel like you are bothering them with your company. I also value active listening- such as maintaining eye contact and nodding and contributing to the conversation as it makes you and others feel truly heard. I value people who simply say thank you when you open doors for them or do tasks for them so you know that your actions really are appreciated. Putting phones away while having a conversation with someone is also common courtesy as well and it assures that you have someone’s full attention.
ReplyDeleteThe ones on the list that mattered the most to me were "know your audience" and "communicate intentionally". I think these are important because they are a large part of just being a kind and honest person. These also stood out to me because for me these are the ones that have the biggest effect on me when I am interacting with someone, and are what I try to put into action as well.
ReplyDeleteThe manner that matters most to me is active listening. It truly makes my skin crawl when I, or someone else, says something and then another person asks a question about the exact thing that was just mentioned, or any other scenario in which it’s clear the other person was not fully focused while listening. I think what makes it so irritating is that it is truly, not at all hard to listen and process what one person is saying, but it’s such a simple way to show respect, that you’re actively in the conversation and are listening to what others have to say. Just listening to what someone is saying and grasping it shows that you care about what they have to say, or at least you appear to, while blatantly not fully committing to listening to them is just anger inducing and exasperating.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion manners that mean the most to me are to be polite and show gratitude to everyone. You never truly know what someone is going through, so a simple compliment or act of kindness might shape their day or change their life. A simple act of kindness can go a long way. It makes me incredibly happy when im walking the hallways or out and about, and a stranger smiles at me. Being greeted with gratitude can change someone's day instantly, which is why I think it is imperative.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to manners, I think the most important ones are saying thank you and please. They are such little things that people have started looking over them, forgetting to say please and thank you. A thank you can change a person's entire day, showcasing the gratitude you have for their actions, showing they are doing it for something. Furthermore, if someone is doing you a favor or service, a please is always appreciated, even when they are just doing their jobs. I feel it is still important to have manners as they are equal to you.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion the manners that matter the most are being polite, especially to strangers. You never know when someone is having a rough day and going out of your way to be rude to someone is not only hurtful but just wrong. If you were going through a hard time a stranger expressing the smallest gratitude can make all the difference in you day. Another manner I value is being on time and commitment. Showing up on time is polite and the bare minimum to show you care. If you are invited to something and you are able to commit you should be there on time (except when things are out of your control). It is better for everyone in your group when you are present and committed.
ReplyDeleteI think one of the most important manners someone can have is sticking to their word. Not only is it important to be reliable and transparent, not keeping promises can lead to distrust and a strain in a relationship; this is especially important because telling the truth is free and can often prevent future troubles.
ReplyDeleteI believe that out of the manners listed, smiling, politeness, and intentionality are the most important ones. When you smile and are kind to others it often brings joy and spreads to other people and can even be contagious. Being intentional in our manners and implementing them into everyday tasks can be really helpful in improving our manners especially in today's society. I certainly agree that in today's world, the essence of manners have somewhat faded, but they honestly are highly important. We can only hope that if some of us are intentional in our manners, then we can spread it to others around us and influence good behavior.
ReplyDeleteGeorge Story
ReplyDeleteIn the aspect of manners I feel that showing someone your respect is of the utmost importance. This can be things such as "sir" or "ma'am" to figures of authority or courtesies like thank you and please. Respect itself is commonly said to be "earned not given" but I would disagree with that sentiment highly; respect should be given to everyone regardless of age or social standing. What is earned is maintaining the respect; it is easy to lose respect but hard to get it back. I believe especially with first impressions and just general day to day life, giving everyone courtesy and respect creates a more civil and comfortable environment.
Moses Gerak
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to manners 3 things come to mind that matter to me.
1. Volume: people that speak louder or quieter than is appropriate rather bothers me because I either can’t hear them or they are making me feel uncomfortable how loud they are being.
2. Eye contact is big for me to know someone is listening and caring about what I say (I try to reciprocate this to others.)
3. Finally, I (like Lancey) can’t stand phones at the table. I question sometimes if the homies act the same way at home because my Mom made sure we knew that phones didn’t belong at the table as to facilitate conversation.
Those are just some manners that mean something to me.
In regards to manners I feel that out all of the manners listed, politeness is the most important. Being polite gets you the furthers in this world. And no matter when or where is one of the greatest life skills to have. If you cant be polite to others, then how can you expect for others to be polite and show kindness to you in turn.
ReplyDeleteManners in general are important to me. Specifically table manners, I absolutely hate it when people speak with their mouth full or when they don't pick up after themselves. Even though, common courtesy and manners don't mean the same thing, they interlink with each other in more ways than one. I grew up with learning the importance of both and get shocked when others can't do either.
ReplyDelete-Marisol E
The manners that matter most to me are the ones that validate people as human. Active listening is important to me because I want to be heard, especially when I am being vulnerable, and I want others to know that I care and am truly listening to them. I don’t usually notice or pick up on eye contact, so it has never been a big thing for me, but I can recognize the importance. Humility is something that I value so much, which goes along with being grateful, an admirable quality. I love the mention of the golden rule, because that is how we should enter all our interactions, valuing others as we would want to be valued. I think a good way to combat a loss of good manners is for parents to teach their children while they are young and have more time with them, but also teach by example, demonstrating the type of person they should be.
ReplyDeleteAddie Errante
ReplyDeleteThe manners that matter most to me is when strangers make eye contact with me and smile. I love to smile and notice new people all the time because I love the idea of a simple smile offering kindness to someone's day. Eye contact is important to me because it verifies that you have the full attention of someone and they are more confident when they speak because of this validation. I love the simple manners of holding a door open for someone because it is simple to do but can always be helpful for someone else. My favorite manners are the ones that allow me to connect with new people just with kindness.
The manners that are most important to me is being polite and listening, along with smiling and making eye contact. Being friendly is a polite and easy thing to do to brighten someone’s day, a smile can go a very long way. Smiling with eye contact gives reassurance that the person is aware of the conversation and is listening. It’s also a good feeling to know you made someone else feel heard and valued when in a conversation with that person. When someone isn’t doing these things it can create a more negative impression on there character.
ReplyDeleteThe most significant manners are being polite and thinking before speaking. Performing polite actions goes a long way in brightening up someone’s day. Even the smallest actions, such as holding a door open for someone, cause both people involved to smile. Likewise, thinking about what you say before it comes out of your mouth will prevent a lot of unintended negativity. Including this manner will also transform you into a better communicator.
ReplyDeleteThe manners that matter the most to me would be eye contact and being conscious of your surroundings. I think eye contact is so important because it lets me know you actually care and listening to what Im saying. Secondly I hate when people act like they're the only person who exist out in public and dont bother to think about how their actions are affecting the ones around them. Thinking of others is one of the most simple things and I find it rude when others dont.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I feel like giving your full attention to someone when they are talking and not interrupting them is very important. I like to yap and I like to be heard so I know how frustrating it is when you feel like you have a great idea but no one is listening to you. Being punctual is also very important. It is not only just polite but time is money and when you get a job you are most likely going to be being paid for your time so it isn’t fair to be late. I don’t have any to add. Oh, and as I now see, keeping track of dates is part of being punctual. (I thought April had 31 days, my bad)
ReplyDeleteWhen I think about which manners matter most to me, I realize it’s the small, everyday actions that make people feel respected and valued. For example, I really appreciate when someone gives their full attention during a conversation-making eye contact, not interrupting, and showing they’re actually listening. It makes a huge difference and helps build trust and understanding between people. Ultimately, I think manners are about showing empathy and thinking about how our actions affect others. Practicing these habits not only helps create a more positive environment but also encourages others to do the same.
ReplyDeleteSome of the manners that are most important to me include not being on your phone when someone is speaking to you, not being on your phone while watching a movie as well as just being quiet during a movie (these go for movies in theaters), minding your volume in public, holding the door open, and being a courteous driver. (This one especially, no one’s time is more important than anyone else's.) I do agree with trying to be on time. Although it may be difficult sometimes, I think it’s respectful to try your best to be on time, especially when you pledged to be somewhere at a certain time.
ReplyDeleteIf we are all kind and respectful to those we meet the it improves the world in a better way. A kind act such as holding a door, smiling, or saying something nice can make someone's day much better. You may never know what another individual might be going through, the kindness you show them by doing the things mentioned could be extremely beneficial to them. In addition to setting a good example, being respectful, kind, and empathetic to other people can influence others to treat others the same. Lastly, kindness is inexpensive but may be everything to another individual.
ReplyDeleteEye contact is important to me. Eye contact is a sign of respect. Conversations are meaningful, and serves as a base of every relationship. You can't maintain a good relationship with someone who looks around or on their phone every time you speak to them. Being socially aware is also a big thing. Whether that's waiting 5 extra seconds to hold the door open for someone behind you or picking up something someone dropped and returning it.
ReplyDelete