I SIMPLY REMEMBER MY FAVORITE THINGS! Annual Holiday Blog

 Once again, Christmas is in the air, hopefully bringing us warm memories of time well spent with those we love.  Better than the presents we give and receive is the presence we offer with our friends and family--time spent truly savoring each others' company, setting aside all the daily stresses and responsibilities, if only for a little while.  Taking time to stop and look at all of the beauty around us, to engage in deep conversation, to get out and enjoy the beauty of nature here in the desert; now, perhaps more than ever, these are all good ways to refocus, set new goals for the upcoming year, and empower ourselves to pursue our dreams.  Another way is to stop and consider all the things we love, those things that make us smile --things for which we are so grateful...and then, put pen to paper.

Christmas is the best time to do this, for sure, but it is important, as our dear friend Charles Dickens suggests, to "keep Christmas alive and well in our hearts all the year through."  As we prepare to say goodbye to 2023, I am once again renewing the "My Favorite Things" post: an annual activity to make a list of the things that each of us holds most dear--those things we love and cherish in this life.

 
So, to review for those who have done this before, and to introduce to those who are new to the blog this year, here are the rules for the annual Favorite Things post:  Make a list of your 25 most favorite THINGS. The key word is THINGS.  No people allowed on your list!  That removes the pressure you may feel to name every family member and friend.  People and things should never be categorized together.  People come first.  This list is much more light-hearted!  (I will, however, allow you to include animals/pets on this list in addition to things).

This was REALLY tougher than I thought to narrow it down to 25 for me (initially, I was afraid I would draw a blank!) but here is what came to mind this year first for me.  Try to just take pen to paper and write what comes to your mind first.  These will probably be the most honest.  :)

Let's begin this beautiful Christmas Season, and ring in the New Year with a list of all the things we love...those things for which we are most grateful, shall we?

MRS. CARAWAY'S FAVORITE THINGS...(in no particular order)

1.  Cathedral bells- especially those of my favorite, Notre Dame.
2.  The sound of my son Christian playing the piano.
3.  England's Christmas Market (and the smell of roasting chestnuts)
4.  Ice-skating
5.  Ballet and pointe shoes
6.  France - Paris, Normandy, and Alsace.  I love it all.

   

7. WW 2 history and historical fiction

8. Writing and Word smithery
9. Pretty shoes and long, soft cardigans.
10. Narnia, wardrobes, & Aslan (not necessarily in that order)
11. The sound of the ocean 
12. Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve.  
13. Things that sparkle (candlelight, glitter, jewels, the ocean in the moonlight)
14. Shakespeare School Festival: There is nothing quite like watching my students perform Shakespeare on a stage in London! 
15. My pets, Katya and Maggie, and their unconditional love example.
16. Tapas and wine with my family

17. Thunderstorms...with lightening

18. The sound of my children laughing out loud together, all in the same room.
19. A well-told story.
20. Unbridled JOY
21. Unexpected discoveries around hidden corners in my travels through Europe
22. My faith and the mystery of GRACE.
23. Perfume! (Suite 302 by Victoria Beckham is my current fave)
24. Riding on Airplanes to new and exciting places.
25. HOPE.  It does spring eternal.

Now, it's your turn... 

Make YOUR list....and remember, it cannot include people.  It must be a list of things (which may include sounds and feelings).  

May this mark an attitude of gratitude in your heart, that you may keep the joy and love of Christmas all year through!  

SEVEN SHELBYS: A Tribute to True Heroes for Veteran's Day

  

I dedicate this post to my friend Larry Frost, and all those Americans who have given their lives for the freedom I enjoy....

After reading this blog, Larry's poem to Shelby, and the video (links below) please do the following:   respond with any thoughts you have on this particular reflection, or please feel free to share any reflections YOU have from a visit somewhere that made you stop and think and remember about the sacrifices of our American veterans, a story of a beloved veteran in your family, perhaps, or a friend...whatever you would like to share with us. Video  LINK

Larry's Poem for Shelby:  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WANxIQgDVeliEcjTKKRFpcAVXNAaT8VQ/view?usp=sharing

One weekend, several years ago, my husband and I took the family over to our Estrella Residential Center to visit the Moving Vietnam Memorial Wall. At that time, I had not yet seen the one in Washington DC, neither had our kids, so we thought that would be a nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon and reflect on the freedom we enjoy, and take time to honor those who have made the ultimate sacrifice.

One of our very dearest friends is a Vietnam veteran.  He has shared many incredible stories with us in our home and his.  We have looked through his picture and scrap books of memories, and seen the display of his many war medals that his wife lovingly made for him.  He had tried to throw them all away once, but she would not hear of it.  Despite the memories that still haunt him over fifty years later, she sees him as a true American hero.  So do I. 

I remembered him telling us many times about his dear friend, Shelby, whom he lost over in Vietnam.  It was a horrifying story in which my friend witnessed his best friend's helicopter being shot down just yards away from his own.  Shelby had a baby daughter when he died...a daughter who would never know the incredible, kind-hearted man who was her father.

We arrived to the wall that day, and I realized I didn't have the slightest clue as to what Shelby's last name was so that I could find him on the wall.  My friends live in Kauai, so I texted them, hoping that perhaps they would see the text and reply in time.  In the meantime, we decided to try and inquire based on our knowledge of Shelby's first name.  It was not a common first name.  Maybe, just maybe, we would get lucky.

We asked the volunteers who were not only gracious, but eager to help us find this friend.  They looked up the name "Shelby" in the database.  "Let's give it a try," one of them said.  Then, we waited a few short seconds, and she gave us the verdict:  "Seven.  There are seven Shelby's on the Vietnam Wall."

I asked her about them--perhaps some detail might register so that we could narrow it down.  Here is what I learned:

There are seven Shelbys on the Vietnam Memorial Wall.

One was from Louisianna.  

Two were from West Virginia.

One was from Virginia.

One was from Missouri

One was from Nebraska

and one Shelby hailed from Ohio.

All of the Shelbys on the wall were from the ages of 20-23 when they died.

Seven sons.  Seven friends to countless others.  Seven American heroes.

These are the things these soldiers share...along with their name.

Suddenly, we wanted to find them. We all wanted to find each of the Shelbys on the wall because no matter which one was my friend's buddy, they all had a story to tell. 

A story that ended much, much too soon.

In a strange way, I felt we owed all of the Shelbys a glance, a silent word of thanks.  A touch on the wall.  A photograph.

They deserved to be remembered.

We found all of the Shelbys.  I took photographs of their names because these young men matter.  

My friend did send me a text before we left the exhibit, and we were able to obtain a rubbing of his Shelby.  The Shelby who was his dearest friend.  The Shelby who would never really know his daughter.  The Shelby who will always have a place in my friend's heart, and now, mine...

But I am so grateful to have found the others, as well.  They will also have a place in my heart.

THE CONTEXT KEY: Opening our eyes to understanding in life and literature (October)

 

You have probably heard it said (often, if you are in the second year of my class!) that context is everything.  Okay, so I admit, it is definitely a cliché, but I would also like to suggest that it is a whole lot more than that.

I recently read a blog post in which a woman detailed a story about attending a church service that was very "charismatic."  In other words, people were very vocal and enthusiastic in their worship style.  She was okay with that, at least at first.  But it really started becoming annoying to her when a woman behind her started yelling "Glory!" and sometimes, "Glory, Glory, Glory!" during the service and the preacher's sermon.  Once was fine.  Twice or three times was pushing it.  But when it became constant, the blogger had enough.  She had formed a judgment about this woman and it wasn't a complimentary one.

After the service, the blogger stopped to speak with the pastor's wife, who was a friend.The pastor's wife asked, "Did you happen to notice the woman who sat behind you today?"  The blogger commented that yes, indeed, she had noticed her, but she stopped herself from saying anything negative or judgmental that she might regret (she was in a church, after all!).That was when the pastor's wife said, "Her son was killed just last week in a drive by shooting."  The pastor's wife went on to share what an inspiration the woman had been to everyone at the church in the way she had clung to her faith through her pain, "It's truly beautiful," she said.

In that moment, everything changed.  No longer did the blogger see the woman as an obnoxious, over zealous church goer.  The woman calling out, "Glory!" had suffered unspeakable loss and tragedy; she was a human being who was bravely confronting her pain and suffering.  The blogger posted these words:  "When we know context, we are slower to judge, slower to write people off, slower to feel disdain, and slower to puff ourselves up in self-righteous [or indignant] pride."*

Communication and social interaction processes are an integral part of our every day lives;  at school, at work, and at home.  In each of these situations, both our culture and the unique context of our individual lives and situations play a role in how information is communicated, received, and most importantly, understood.  This is such an important revelation as you take in the flurry of information hurled in almost rapid fire succession at you everyday. Whether in watching the news, paging through advertisements, engaging in hallway gossip, or just making your own observations, you must always consider the role that the larger context of that message or sound bite is playing.

This should inspire this question in us all:  Who is judging you without a context today?  All of us can do only so much to allow others to see the "bigger picture."  But ultimately, in a world of Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, short tweets and snippets of time that people may see us in the grocery store, hallway, or out on the field, they are going to see what they want to see, make of it what they will, and form an instant judgement.  This shouldn't surprise us; after all, we live in a hurried, "instant" world.  Personally, I'd like to hope that people who see me out and about, at my best and my worst, will give me the benefit of the doubt...

I have attached a video link here that highlights the results of a very interesting experiment.  Several photographers were hired (unaware of each other) to photograph the same man.  Each photographer was given a simple background or "context" of their subject.  None of them were true, and all were very different from each other.  It's very interesting how it affected even their artistic choices!  Please watch it by clicking this link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-TyPfYMDK8   

In your post, share what you learned in the video, and what your own life experiences have taught you about the importance of context.

We live in a fast moving, rapidly changing world of quick reactions and snap judgements.  Maybe it would do us all good to stop, take a deep breath, and consider all the experiences, emotions, interactions and relationships that have brought us to this very moment.  Maybe it would do us all one better if we took the time to stop and consider all the possible factors that have brought each individual we encounter to this moment, as well...

(*Booker, Adriel.  "Context is Everything," I Still Belong blog, 2017)

EVERYONE HAS A STORY: Know Thyself, Understand Thy Neighbor (September Blog, 2023)

 Communication break-down can occur at any time and in many different settings.

There's Group Project Anxiety: everyone has great ideas at discussion meetings, but you feel like the only one with a sense of urgency to get any actual work done.  There's Discussion Frustration: whenever you engage in a discussion with your group, you feel as if your thoughts and ideas are not valued or brushed aside with no regard to your feelings.  And finally, there is just sheer information overload: why is it that after a full day of school, you feel completely zapped of energy, consumed by an overwhelming need to be where people are not?

We all realize that we are social creatures.  We seek out and thrive within interpersonal relationships.

We long to be heard and appreciated, to create and explore.  This is probably not new information.  Rewarding as they may be, however, relationships of every type are complex and not without their difficulties.  People are different.  Where we come from, our experiences, our beliefs, and our DNA all go into who we are, how we see and interpret the world, and how we communicate.

Many corporations have invested large sums of money in consultants with one goal in mind:  to improve inter-office communication and efficiency.  Where do you begin?  The communicators, themselves!  Knowing who you are helps you to better understand how and why you communicate the way that you do.  Knowing who your co-workers are can help you better understand how to communicate with them more effectively and efficiently.

So, as Aristotle taught centuries ago, we will begin by seeking the wisdom that comes from knowing ourselves.  Here is a link to a personality inventory:  http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test  Once you complete the test, you can have your results emailed to yourself and you can read all about your personality type: how you relate to others, how others see you, how you work, etc.

The test takes about 20 minutes, but it provides a wealth of information as it analyzes four distinct areas of personality and then adds a fifth area that analyzes overall identity.  It is created from a combination of the infamous Myers/Briggs and Carl Jung's Theory of Psychological Types.  The four areas are explained as follows:

1.  Introversion vs Extroversion: (I vs. E) This is more than just "shy" vs. "outgoing."  In fact,

according to Jung, it is really not about that at all.  It has to do more with where you get your energy.  Do you find yourself getting energized when you are around others, or do you find that you need to be away from people to re-energize?

2.  Intuitive vs. Sensing: (N vs. S) Intuitives are creative, imaginative and curious individuals who are open-minded.  They tend to go with novelty over stability and see/feel possibilities.  They tend to have strong discernment in new situations.  Sensing or Observant individuals are practical, pragmatic and down to earth.  They tend to have strong habits and rather than going with their gut, they are more focused on what has happened or what is happening.

3.  Feeling vs. Thinking: (F vs. T) Feeling individuals are sensitive and emotionally expressive.  They are more empathetic and tend to be less competitive than T's.  They tend to focus on social harmony

and cooperation.   Thinkers focus on objectivity and rationality, prioritizing logic over emotion.  They tend to hide their feelings and value efficiency over cooperation.

4.  Judging vs. Perceiving or Prospecting: (J vs. P)  Judging personalities are decisive, thorough and highly organized.  They value clarity, predictability and closure preferring structure and planning to spontaneity.  Perceiving individuals are good at improvising and spotting opportunities.  They are flexible, relaxed, non-conformists who prefer to keep their options open.

Identity Variables of Assertive vs. Turbulent: (A vs. T)Assertive types are confident, self-assured and pretty resistant to stress.  They do not push themselves too hard.  The turbulent types are self-conscious and sensitive to stress. They are perfectionistic types who experience a wide array of emotions.

So, test away, and POST!

1.  IDENTIFY YOUR FOUR LETTER PERSONALITY, then put a dash, and A OR T   http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

2.  COMMENT ON ANY SURPRISES OR EXPECTATIONS.

3.  NOW,  click this link, and find out if you are more left or right-brained, and let me know your results!  https://www.arealme.com/left-right-brain/en/

4.  Finally, here is a quiz to determine your Harry Potter House.   https://www.gotoquiz.com/pottermore_sorting_quiz_all_possible_question

 For example, I am an INFJ - T.   This was absolutely no surprise to me, but a big surprise to those who know me, as I come across as an extrovert (SO not true!)   I think this is because I am also an empath and deeply care about and love people!  I am also a J, but BARELY.  I need to feel organized in my environment, but DO NOT open any of my desk drawers--although with the inspiration of Mrs. Cassidy, I am getting MUCH better!  For a long time, I would score as right-brained (although it would be pretty close!).  This year and last, I am testing as 50/50!  A balance of both (Hurray!).  Finally, I am (still!)  89% House of Gryffindor.  Now, it's your turn!

(Blog Response is due: September 30 by midnight!)

*Images by:  Kim Anderson Photography,  All rights reserved. 

WORD TO THE WISE: Sage Advice from the Class of 2023 to a NEW Generation of DP Language & Literature Scholars!

 

Well, it is hard to believe, but we have closed yet another year at Odyssey.  Soon, we will be blowing a kiss and waving a tearful farewell to the Class of 2023.  As first and second-year DP Language and Literature students gear up for their summer assessments, the Class of 2023 will be zipping up their gowns, donning their cords, and looking forward to the next phase of their exciting life journey: college, career, military service; wherever their dreams take them...

Class of 2023, you are standing at a precipice, and at this momentous occasion in your lives, great reflection is in order; a reflection that can help our next generation of upperclassmen--juniors and seniors--as they navigate through unfamiliar and uncertain waters and build upon their knowledge as IB scholars.  Please know I will ALWAYS and  FOREVER be in your corner, cheering you on, through all of life's challenges and celebrations! LOTS of love, gratitude, prayer, and applause for and to YOU from me!

So, DP Language and Literature Students of now and tomorrow, here it is, advice from your seniors to you; those who have successfully reached the summit of DP Language and Literature will give you pieces of the map and a compass to guide YOU on your journey.  They have officially and successfully finished both years of study, so really take their words to heart!  And to you seniors who are quoted here, please know that I have learned just as much, if not more, from working with you as you did in this classroom, and I will miss your intensity and determination through all the seasons.  This advice is quite meaningful in light of the experience, and so...

Buckle up, here we go!

Read the book on time! Don't wait until the last moment, the reading is too long!  Read the sections as assigned!" ~ Sarah Emmett

Collaborate as much as possible!  Especially on the lit trackers.  If you are planning on taking any DP tests, start practicing writing in pen right now!  Finally, find ways to destress or just don't stress at all.  Some things are just out of your control.  ~ Soleil Sanchez

Questions are the key to learning.  Don't feel ashamed of any questions you may have. ~ Landon Cozad

As a scholar in DP Lang/Lit, I have learned a few important lessons in my past 2 years.  My first piece of advice is to never procrastinate!  I know you've heard this about a million times in your lifetime, but trust me, you do not want to get behind on the Lit Tracker, World View Charts, HL essays, or even something as simple as the blog.  It's better to get work done sooner rather than later in case you have questions.  Another piece of advice is to always find higher level vocabulary words to use in your HL essays.  I used thesaurus.com when I needed help finding more advanced words in place of simple words.  My last piece of advice is never to be afraid to ask questions.  If you're confused about an assignment or something that occurred in one of the novels, do not be afraid to ask Mrs. Caraway or a fellow classmate for help.  Don't forget to have fun and make the most of your time.  It will go by faster than you think! ~ Hana Trom

SHE KNOWS. When you come to class unprepared, she can tell. She has been doing this for a REALLY long time!

Work together on assignments, like the Lit Tracker, when you can and work on them ahead of time rather than the day of (don't stress more than you need to). For the Lit Tracker, it will be a source of a variety of quotes to use for your HL essays, Paper 2, and IO for later and give different perspectives on how to go about analyzing the works and pairing them. This will also develop your collaboration skills as you share your strengths with others. ~Danae Martinez

Do your lit trackers with more than one person. Don't be afraid to write in your books, or use sticky notes! USE TAP!!! Don't be afraid to ask questions. When sending an email to Mrs. Caraway, make sure you provide a greeting, edit carefully, and spell her name correctly! Always check your spelling before you submit your essay! Don't abbreviate or use slang words in your writing assignments. ~ Elizabeth Day

Check the language arts website!!

Do rough drafts/outlines on time (you WANT the feedback!)

Do not hesitate to ask questions if you don't understand something. Someone else might have the same question as you. Be engaged in the class conversations; the class will be so much fun if you do! ~ Madeleine Emmons

Take advantage of the time you have here. You will learn so much about yourself and your writing if you throw yourself into your work. Take advantage of Mrs. Caraway's advice, both for your writing and life; it has never steered me wrong. Lastly, do your lit tracker with other people! - Olivia Elledge

1. READ THE BOOKS. I know this sounds obvious, but actually reading the assigned chapters (as they are assigned) is so important! Not only so you don't embarrass yourself, but also because the readings can be so fun! My favorite part of Mrs. Caraway's class was our group discussions about the previous night's chapters. Make sure that you engage in the discussions. They can be very helpful and so fun. It feels like a cute, little book club.

2. TRY NEW THINGS! This one is relevant to your junior and senior years as a whole and not just Mrs. Caraway's class. Try new clubs, try out different jobs, make new friends, and branch out! Put effort into all of your classes, not just the ones that you are interested in. These years can be so fun, but only if you make them! :) ~Taylor Alger

1. Collaboration is such an important thing in ANY IB course, so stay open-minded and communicate with your peers to gain perspectives and improve your work, whether it be your writing or your technique. Take feedback and USE it!

2. Stay Organized! This cannot be stressed enough. Make schedules, write down your homework, and stay on top of your assignments because they can rack up quickly.

3. Balance Yourself. Find a way for you to cope with the stress and anxiety from school, otherwise you'll just become overwhelmed and fall behind and that is not something you want to happen (I recommend the game "Cat Snack Bar")

4. Don't overthink it! The DP classes are not to be scared of or intimidated by as long as you stay engaged in class and with the material. ~Tatum Aguilar

Do your lit trackers! I promise you they will help you with your essays, and later on they will come in handy when preparing for any IOs or Paper 2. Make sure to come to class prepared and to read what is assigned. It is truly so much fun to participate in class discussions and it's important to know what's going on. Plus, there is a lot to learn from Mrs. Caraway. Trust her!! - Jacelle Martinez

1. My biggest advice is when Mrs. Caraway gives feedback on your essays or papers, always appreciate and acknowledge that advice and try to implement that in your writing next time. I have become a significantly better writer just through the feedback and practice that Mrs. Caraway provides so don't take that for granted!

2. When it comes to the summer assessments, I highly recommend NOT doing it 2 days before it is due. This is perhaps from personal experience, but I'm going to exercise the 5th Amendment to retain some deniability. Anyways, I recommend gathering the will power to do it in the beginning of your summer while you are still in the groove of writing essays and don't extend your procrastination. (Although I know this is a problem for all of us!)

3. Read. It's so easy to skip a chapter reading and end up creating a very bad habit. Just know that it is so fun sharing ideas and participating in the class discussions. By reading not only do you get familiar with different writing styles but the book can be extremely fulfilling and fun to read. It also avoids the issue of awkwardly showing up to class with nothing to say and hoping you don't get called on to share! ~Jasmine Redfield Lagos

My first word of advice is to always ask for help. Do not feel embarrassed, or shy to ask for help. Someone is always willing to help you, especially Mrs. Caraway. She is totally open to giving you feedback and it can be very helpful! Whether that is for an essay, an IO, etc. My second piece of advice is to get your IO done in the first semester. You don't want to be that person who is the last one to do your IO! It can be very stress-relieving to just get it done and out of the way. Another piece of advice is to actually pay attention in class and put effort and care into your assignments. If you aren't trying or you don't care about what you are writing about, it will be obvious. Write with passion! Finally, have fun. Personally, I think DP Language and Literature was one of my most fun classes. Between all of the discussions we would have and the assignments we would do, I had fun with it all!! :~Allyson Mills

Okay, now it's time to reflect and respond!

Future Year 2 scholars: What piece of advice above really resonates with you? What advice or words of reflection would you like to add?

Year 1 Scholars: Welcome! What words of advice do you find most helpful or interesting? What do you see as your greatest source of anxiety and/or excitement? Why are you here, and what are you hoping to accomplish this year?

MIND YOUR MANNERS... (Because They Matter!) April Blog

 "Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot" ~Clarence Thomas 

Good manners cost nothing but mean everything.  While the gift of etiquette in the world is one that is free to give, the simple offerings of being polite and kind--saying please and thank you, listening carefully, and making eye contact with people--can bring huge benefits to ourselves and those around us.  They help us appear more confident, maintain more fulfilling personal relationships, lead us to prosper at work, and generally enjoy happier and healthier lives.

But what we may not have realized when we were (hopefully!) being taught these manners as children, is that when we learn about manners, we are learning about mindfulness.  By living more mindfully--more fully intentionally--we can lead a more prosperous life in every way!  That's because when we practice basic, good manners, we are showing those around us that we respect them and are considerate of their feelings, not just our own agendas.  This makes them feel better and, in turn, more aware of how they might be more considerate of us.  

Most of us are familiar with "the golden rule:" Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  It is golden for a reason!  Examples of good manners can manifest themselves in seemingly small actions and rewards--like getting the door for someone and receiving a small smile of thanks in return.  No, ladies, when a man holds the door for you or gets your car door, he is probably NOT doing it to insinuate that you cannot do it for yourself; he is probably doing it because he was raised to respect and honor you, and maybe, just maybe, he wants to make you feel special and worthy. 

Good manners are so much more important than many of us realize.  They are the hallmark of civil society.  They help us tap into empathy; they make us ask ourselves, "What is it like to be on the other side of me?"  When we place ourselves in a scenario to feel what another person may be feeling, our words and actions automatically become more respectful.  Manners can make or break crucial relationships and be the difference between harmony and conflict at home, at work, or even between countries and cultures on the world stage. 

According to Emily Post, who is perhaps the most influential American writer on etiquette in the 20th century, "Manners are made up of trivialities of deportment which can be easily learned if one does not happen to know them; manners are part of your personality--an outward manifestation of one's innate character and attitude towards life."  Manners are common sense, a combination of generosity of spirit and specific know-how.  So...if they are so integral to civil society and living well, why does it seem that they are so often ignored in our modern society?  The changing priorities in society shape the way we interact and behave.  Some may lay the blame on generations like the Millennials and the iGen, or even GenZ.  But ALL of us have contributed to the lack of good manners and etiquette in our society. 

Reasons for the Demise of Manners in Society

1.  Lack of character development.  Not too long ago, good manners and etiquette were taught alongside reading, writing, and arithmetic in schools.  They were considered integral in helping the young become successful adults.  But today in most public schools, there is a lack of emphasis on comprehensive and interdisciplinary character development.

2. Texting & Emailing Changes in communication methods have affected our way of life and our manners.  The use of indirect modes of communication like texts and emails doesn't require in-person interactions, and many of us have become overly reliant on these forms of communication.  This can lead to misunderstandings and, in some cases, even offensive or rude exchanges.  It's vital to be intuitive with people we care about/respect.  Know when to pick up the phone or just have a face to face.

3. Social Media. Likewise, manners easily fall by the wayside on social media. When people don't meet in person to talk about things and rely too heavily on social media, they literally "forget" how to talk to others.  Lack of personal interactions and connection makes us feel anonymous, which can easily lead to inappropriate comments and a lack of good manners and sense. 

4. Television/Youtube/Video Unfortunately, the lack of civility, poor manners, and lack of etiquette on the part of famous people sends powerful messages to all of us, and contributes to the decline of manners in our society.  These are supposed to be our role modes!  But if we want a more polite and less divisive society, we ALL need to make efforts to create productive civil discourse...especially those in the limelight.

5. Busy Families. With both parents usually working, and kids moving from activity to activity, there may be a lack of time in the daily routines when parents have opportunities to teach and practice good manners and etiquette with their kids.  Some of these connections have been lost due to fewer family dinners, visits from relatives, and family outings.  These rituals may seem outdated, but there needs to be a way for families to connect and engage with each other so that young children have opportunities to practice socializing graciously.

So....what can WE do?  We all say we want a more united and harmonious world.  If manners are integral to achieving that goal, what can each of us do out there to make a difference?  CAN we make a difference?  Mother Theresa once said, "Do small things with great love," that's how you change the world.  Admiral McCraven said, "If you want to change the world, start by making your bed" (which is, by the way, good manners, too!).  In other words, by seemingly small gracious actions, we can make big, beautiful changes!

Guide to Making Manners Matter...in YOUR Life, and the World!

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.  It isn't always about you!  If you know that your actions or words are hurting or upsetting others you care about or respect, STOP DOING THEM.  Choose your words and topics wisely when engaging in conversation--online as well as in person. Show openness to various perspectives and monitor your choice of words and behaviors...even the small ones.

PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING.  Take a clue from Mr. Darcy's playbook and practice listening and responding in social settings.  It is tempting to multitask, but active listening means looking the person in the eye, not at your cell phone.  Ask good questions and be thoughtful.  

EYE CONTACT MATTERS! Whether a short conversation or a lengthy discourse, eye contact shows respect to the person you are speaking with.  If you don't want to be in a conversation, get out of it graciously.  If you are in, be ALL in.  

THINK BEFORE YOU ACT. Be intentional in what you say and do.  

SHOW APPRECIATION & GRATITUDE.  Thank a Veteran when you see one.  Thank the families of Veterans.  SHOW THEM RESPECT!  It shouldn't matter what side of the political fence you camp on.  These are people who have dedicated their lives to defending your freedoms.  No country is perfect!  But everyone reading this blog?  You have it pretty well by comparison to most.  BE GRATEFUL.

BE POLITE OUT THERE IN THE WORLD. Say please, and thank you.  Say excuse me when you bump into someone, even if it is not your fault (and hold the sarcasm, please!). Put your cart away at the grocery store.  Refrain from using curse words.  Also, show some general courtesy towards others while waiting in lines, driving, etc.

COMMUNICATE INTENTIONALLY.  Be authentic and sincere in compliments and praise.  If someone does something nice for you, try writing them a thank you note!  It sets you apart.  And...if you don't have something nice or positive to say about someone, whether a friend or family member, peer or colleague, avoid saying anything at all.

SMILE! Be friendly and cheerful.  Greet people with a smile.  Of course, we should all be cautious with strangers, but that doesn't mean we should be discourteous in daily interactions.  Smile at the cashier.  The bank teller.  Your Co-Worker.  Even if they do not smile back.

BE HELPFUL.  Hold the door for the person behind you.  Lend a hand to others if they are struggling.  And if someone is helpful to you, say thank you... make eye contact...and smile!

HONOR YOUR COMMITMENTS, BE PRESENT & ON TIME. If you say you are going to commit to something HONOR THAT COMMITMENT.  If you say you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, BE THERE.  Be someone others can count on.  

TABLE MANNERS MATTER! It's the details sometimes: waiting until everyone is seated before digging in.  Put your napkin in your lap.  Chew with your mouth closed.  Push your chair in when you leave the table...ANY table.  You know the drill.  It may be old-fashioned, but it's timeless!

CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF...AND YOUR PETS!  It's just plain icky not to!  Leave the world a little nicer than how you found it!

There you go!  Now, I would like very much to hear from YOU!  What manners matter most to YOU?  Do you have any to add, or does one of these really speak to you?  Tell me all about it.  I promise to listen.  Giving you mental eye contact, full attention, and respect.  

And I will smile as I read them all.  :)

Please, and thank you in advance!  

 

THE ART OF FAILING WELL (March Blog)

"Ever tried. Ever failed.  No matter.  Try again.  Fail again.  Fail better." ~Samuel Beckett, Westward Ho.

Scientists know all too well that the concept of "failure" is a natural part of experimentation.  If you want to learn how a process works, or develop a new one yourself, the scientific method demands that you try, fail, and try again...and maybe even again.  The arts, whether visual or performing, also involve quite a bit of experimentation.  In a 2013 interview, filmmaker George Lucas observed, "If you're creating things, you're doing things that have a high potential for failure, especially if you're doing things that have not been done before.  And you learn from those things...Failure is another word for experience."  

Both experience and experimentation have positive connotations; we think of them as growth words--they are expansive and character building.  So if failure is a part of both, why does it have such a negative connotation?  Why is it so crippling to so many people?

When we approach a task at school or at work, we tend to see two possible outcomes:  success or failure.  The implications of that are that there are then two types of people:  winners, and losers.  That's not a lot of motivation to take risks and try something new!  But as scientists learn in the laboratory, our failures will only hold us back if we don't engage with them mindfully!

Failing well or "artful failing" means to acknowledge that failure happens to all of us - the best of us - and building the skills needed to learn and grow stronger and wiser can only happen when we take risks, feel uncomfortable, experience some anxiety, and give ourselves the grace to learn from our mistakes and move forward.  In the DP classroom, I know that for many students, self-worth and sense of identity become contingent on academic success, and the normal setbacks that accompany a higher, challenging level of coursework can be a great source of distress.  In our busy, pressure-filled, chaotic lives, it is easy to lose sight of the natural and highly valuable learning that accompanies not doing every task or assignment perfectly every time.  Instead, we need to stop seeking perfection in everything and focus on developing capacities for persistence, creativity, grit, cognitive flexibility, delaying gratification, and overcoming adversity.  This requires trial and error, and overcoming fears of failing in the process.

So...what does a fear of failure look like?  How does it manifest itself?  We need to see the enemy if we are to combat it, after all!  Here are some typical symptoms of this fear that can cripple our development:

1. Debilitating procrastination: If I am not sure my work will be perfect, then I am desperate to avoid making mistakes.  Therefore, I avoid the task all together, which can lead to us jeopardizing opportunities. 

2. Fixating on Catastrophe: Yes, bad outcomes are always possible.  It can be easy to let that distract us!  By focusing only on all the negative outcomes, we zap creative energy and create roadblocks to positive outcomes beyond our imagination!

3. Severe Self-Criticism: If failure is "inexcusable" or unacceptable, there's no room for error in the process of learning.  Mistakes and failures lead to shame and keep us stuck.

4. Withholding Our Work and Ideas from Others: If we have rigid views of success and failure, we only want people to see us at our best.  That can lead us to keeping quiet for fear of disappointing or (even worse!) for fear of ridicule.

5. Believing I must Succeed Right Away at Anything I Try:  Otherwise known as perfectionism.  Success in everything right away is simply unreasonable and unrealistic, not to mention, a bit arrogant.  We need to let that go and let ourselves be human.  Humans grow and develop and learn; failure, which is a part of the human experience, is one of the most excellent of teachers.

6. Being Crushed by Setbacks: We all get disappointed when things don't work out the way we planned.  We get angry, sad, and confused.  But so many of the most inspiring success stories are those that came out of lots of trying and failing, and trying again!  We need to allow ourselves to feel sad about a setback for awhile, and then get up and try again! 

Are any of the symptoms above are relatable?  How can you combat them and challenge yourself to change your mindset?  Start by asking yourself these questions: 

1. Who defines what constitutes success and failure in my life?

2. What makes me feel fulfilled and what do I define as a success?  

3.  What am I working for?  What am I working toward?

4. Where do my beliefs about success and failure come from? (TOK!)

5. What does it mean to be responsible for, to learn from, or just to suffer, both my successes and my failures?

6. What factors and feelings play a role in success and failure?  What about ambition? Luck? Joy? Obligation? Integrity? Competition? Talent? Collaboration?

7. What does is mean to be an excellent, successful, student and human being?

When contemplating the art of failing, Professor Moffat from the University of Warwick's Department of Life Sciences puts it this way:  "You need space for creativity...and the space and freedom to fail.  In the quest for discovery, failing is just as important as getting it right.  Finding out what doesn't work is part of finding out what does."

Give yourself the space to get it right.  

Give yourself the space and grace to fail.

If you are going to do anything, you might as well do it well.  Fail well.  Fail with enthusiasm.  Then get up, a little wiser, and try again.  That's not just the art of failing well.  That's the art of being the best kind of human.

After reading the blog, write a short reflection about what failing means to you.  Do you fear it?  Do you exhibit any of the symptoms of Failure Fear?  Then, watch this TedTalk by Sasha Shillcutt called "Failing Forward."  What is your number one take away?

HOW TO PLAY THE WRITING GAME...AND WIN! (February Blog)

 Your teacher has just assigned you the one thing you dread, but know you will face several times during the school year in several of your classes.  Yes, that's right, kids, it's time to write

THE ESSAY!  

You let out a deep sigh as you feel the heavy weight of dread in your gut, and your entire attitude fades to black.  It's as if someone has pulled a dark veil over your formerly sunny outlook.

Okay, maybe that's a BIT dramatic.  But for many of us, writing the essay is a task that takes more gumption just to begin than to actually complete.

Year one scholars, as I write this blog, we have just been assigned the unit summative: The Taming of the Shrew HL essay.  If that isn't punishment enough, we also must get approval on our essay outline plan from Mrs. Caraway (yours truly!) a document that helps clarify for ourselves and our reader just what it is we are doing, and how this great idea meets the course criteria (thus providing a possible highlight of where we have fallen short!)

Year two scholars, as I write this blog, you are preparing for the Purple Hibiscus unit summative, which is your choice of the Creative Task, or the HL essay.  This gives you some fun choices to explore, but brings with it the pressure that having wide open creative freedom can bring. 

At the close of our two years together, looming in deadly proximity, we have the IB exams, both of which are essays (Paper 1 is actually TWO essays, while Paper 2 is comparative, and involves memorizing quotes) that bring with them the added element of the time limit.   

Now, now, now; writing an essay, comparative or otherwise, doesn't have to be such a downer!  In fact, it can become something you look forward to!  (Okay, maybe that's taking it a bit too far).  At the very least, it can be a challenge you are ready and able to meet.

Like anything else worth doing, writing takes what I like to refer to as the three P's:  perseverance, passion and patience.  You need to eliminate the idea of "TRY my best" and substitute that notion with "DO my best."  Do not even entertain the notion of "this will be hard" or "I cannot do this well," or "my teacher will hate this."  Do not put it off until the last minute or it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom.

Instead, set aside a quiet space, do some relaxation breathing (think yoga, pilates, or dance) and ELIMINATE DISTRACTIONS.  Silence your phone.  In fact, just move your phone to a completely different room or floor of your home, if applicable.  Do not allow yourself to text friends or scroll through Instagram.  It's just you, some paper (or a screen) and words.  Take some time to go through your notes and quotes, and begin the process of writing.  Don't put the pressure of editing or grammar on yourself at this stage.  Writing is a process.  Allow your subconscious creativity to flow first, uninhibited.  You can fix it all later.  Be patient with yourself and your thoughts.  Wait for the right words or search them out until you find the one you truly feel is best. Use a thesaurus for inspiration.  DON'T SURRENDER.

You get to design your exploration in the HL, so you might as well write about something that interests YOU.  Don't think about me (aka your teacher), or anyone else.  Glance over the marking scheme.  Then, take time to craft your topic, and organize your evidence in such a way that shows off your writing style.

Describing is necessary to set things in motion, but don't stay there!  Spend most of your time in analysis. Depth is the key: what is being written/explored, how is the writer exploring it, why those choices, and to what impact?  Again, revision and editing will come in the final stages.  The first stage of the writing process is....wait for it... PLANNING!  When you do begin to put your ideas and plans to paper and write, find something fun in it...something that stirs your creative passion.

Writing the essay or anything, for that matter, may never be your favorite thing to do, but at the very least it doesn't have to be a punishment.  Take some time to read these articles below about "Writing" and specifically "Writing the Essay."  The tips are awesome, I think.  Drink them in, and come ready to attack ALL your writing challenges....

                                                    AND WIN.

Here are the links to writing tips for the essay, and just writing in general.  Read through them--some of the tips in them may be repeated, but reworded in a different way.  Sometimes, hearing the same thing multiple times and in different ways is key in helping to cement your understanding!  Then, in your post, tell me the tips you found the most helpful or enlightening!


1.  https://www.chegg.com/play/student-life/10-tips-for-writing-the-perfect-paper/

2.  http://thewritepractice.com/writing-an-essay/

3.  https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/advice-for-students-10-steps-toward-better-writing.html