"Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot" ~Clarence Thomas
Good manners cost nothing but mean everything. While the gift of etiquette in the world is one that is free to give, the simple offerings of being polite and kind--saying please and thank you, listening carefully, and making eye contact with people--can bring huge benefits to ourselves and those around us. They help us appear more confident, maintain more fulfilling personal relationships, lead us to prosper at work, and generally enjoy happier and healthier lives.
But what we may not have realized when we were (hopefully!) being taught these manners as children, is that when we learn about manners, we are learning about mindfulness. By living more mindfully--more fully intentionally--we can lead a more prosperous life in every way! That's because when we practice basic, good manners, we are showing those around us that we respect them and are considerate of their feelings, not just our own agendas. This makes them feel better and, in turn, more aware of how they might be more considerate of us.
Most of us are familiar with "the golden rule:" Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It is golden for a reason! Examples of good manners can manifest themselves in seemingly small actions and rewards--like getting the door for someone and receiving a small smile of thanks in return. No, ladies, when a man holds the door for you or gets your car door, he is probably NOT doing it to insinuate that you cannot do it for yourself; he is probably doing it because he was raised to respect and honor you, and maybe, just maybe, he wants to make you feel special and worthy.
Good manners are so much more important than many of us realize. They are the hallmark of civil society. They help us tap into empathy; they make us ask ourselves, "What is it like to be on the other side of me?" When we place ourselves in a scenario to feel what another person may be feeling, our words and actions automatically become more respectful. Manners can make or break crucial relationships and be the difference between harmony and conflict at home, at work, or even between countries and cultures on the world stage.
According to Emily Post, who is perhaps the most influential American writer on etiquette in the 20th century, "Manners are made up of trivialities of deportment which can be easily learned if one does not happen to know them; manners are part of your personality--an outward manifestation of one's innate character and attitude towards life." Manners are common sense, a combination of generosity of spirit and specific know-how. So...if they are so integral to civil society and living well, why does it seem that they are so often ignored in our modern society? The changing priorities in society shape the way we interact and behave. Some may lay the blame on generations like the Millennials and the iGen, or even GenZ. But ALL of us have contributed to the lack of good manners and etiquette in our society.
Reasons for the Demise of Manners in Society
1. Lack of character development. Not too long ago, good manners and etiquette were taught alongside reading, writing, and arithmetic in schools. They were considered integral in helping the young become successful adults. But today in most public schools, there is a lack of emphasis on comprehensive and interdisciplinary character development.
2. Texting & Emailing Changes in communication methods have affected our way of life and our manners. The use of indirect modes of communication like texts and emails doesn't require in-person interactions, and many of us have become overly reliant on these forms of communication. This can lead to misunderstandings and, in some cases, even offensive or rude exchanges. It's vital to be intuitive with people we care about/respect. Know when to pick up the phone or just have a face to face.
3. Social Media. Likewise, manners easily fall by the wayside on social media. When people don't meet in person to talk about things and rely too heavily on social media, they literally "forget" how to talk to others. Lack of personal interactions and connection makes us feel anonymous, which can easily lead to inappropriate comments and a lack of good manners and sense.
4. Television/Youtube/Video Unfortunately, the lack of civility, poor manners, and lack of etiquette on the part of famous people sends powerful messages to all of us, and contributes to the decline of manners in our society. These are supposed to be our role modes! But if we want a more polite and less divisive society, we ALL need to make efforts to create productive civil discourse...especially those in the limelight.
5. Busy Families. With both parents usually working, and kids moving from activity to activity, there may be a lack of time in the daily routines when parents have opportunities to teach and practice good manners and etiquette with their kids. Some of these connections have been lost due to fewer family dinners, visits from relatives, and family outings. These rituals may seem outdated, but there needs to be a way for families to connect and engage with each other so that young children have opportunities to practice socializing graciously.
So....what can WE do? We all say we want a more united and harmonious world. If manners are integral to achieving that goal, what can each of us do out there to make a difference? CAN we make a difference? Mother Theresa once said, "Do small things with great love," that's how you change the world. Admiral McCraven said, "If you want to change the world, start by making your bed" (which is, by the way, good manners, too!). In other words, by seemingly small gracious actions, we can make big, beautiful changes!
Guide to Making Manners Matter...in YOUR Life, and the World!
KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. It isn't always about you! If you know that your actions or words are hurting or upsetting others you care about or respect, STOP DOING THEM. Choose your words and topics wisely when engaging in conversation--online as well as in person. Show openness to various perspectives and monitor your choice of words and behaviors...even the small ones.
PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING. Take a clue from Mr. Darcy's playbook and practice listening and responding in social settings. It is tempting to multitask, but active listening means looking the person in the eye, not at your cell phone. Ask good questions and be thoughtful.
EYE CONTACT MATTERS! Whether a short conversation or a lengthy discourse, eye contact shows respect to the person you are speaking with. If you don't want to be in a conversation, get out of it graciously. If you are in, be ALL in.
THINK BEFORE YOU ACT. Be intentional in what you say and do.
SHOW APPRECIATION & GRATITUDE. Thank a Veteran when you see one. Thank the families of Veterans. SHOW THEM RESPECT! It shouldn't matter what side of the political fence you camp on. These are people who have dedicated their lives to defending your freedoms. No country is perfect! But everyone reading this blog? You have it pretty well by comparison to most. BE GRATEFUL.
COMMUNICATE INTENTIONALLY. Be authentic and sincere in compliments and praise. If someone does something nice for you, try writing them a thank you note! It sets you apart. And...if you don't have something nice or positive to say about someone, whether a friend or family member, peer or colleague, avoid saying anything at all.
SMILE! Be friendly and cheerful. Greet people with a smile. Of course, we should all be cautious with strangers, but that doesn't mean we should be discourteous in daily interactions. Smile at the cashier. The bank teller. Your Co-Worker. Even if they do not smile back.
BE HELPFUL. Hold the door for the person behind you. Lend a hand to others if they are struggling. And if someone is helpful to you, say thank you... make eye contact...and smile!
HONOR YOUR COMMITMENTS, BE PRESENT & ON TIME. If you say you are going to commit to something HONOR THAT COMMITMENT. If you say you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, BE THERE. Be someone others can count on.
TABLE MANNERS MATTER! It's the details sometimes: waiting until everyone is seated before digging in. Put your napkin in your lap. Chew with your mouth closed. Push your chair in when you leave the table...ANY table. You know the drill. It may be old-fashioned, but it's timeless!
CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF...AND YOUR PETS! It's just plain icky not to! Leave the world a little nicer than how you found it!
There you go! Now, I would like very much to hear from YOU! What manners matter most to YOU? Do you have any to add, or does one of these really speak to you? Tell me all about it. I promise to listen. Giving you mental eye contact, full attention, and respect.
And I will smile as I read them all. :)
Please, and thank you in advance!
For me, I've always appreciated when a person I'm talking to maintains good eye contact. It shows that you have their undivided attention and same for the other person. When you're having a conversation with someone and their body language tells you that they'd rather be doing anything else, it makes the conversation less valuable and starts to feel like a complete waste of time. This relates to the idea of communicating intentionally. It's important to be authentic in conversations and to show emotion, this allows for more connection and makes the conversation more enjoyable for both people.
ReplyDeleteI have been very fortunate to have parents who have taught me to be polite and have manners especially when at someone else's home. I'm always very suprised to see when my little siblings have friends over to our house and they don't thank my parents for food or even bother to ask before messing around with mine or my parents belongings. I think even as adults and teenagers we make this same mistake when someone shows us a gesture of kindness. It may not be on purpose but I think working towards showing gratitude to any act of kindness no matter how small, is a big step in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteTo me the most important manners to me are saying "Please and Thank you" especially after holding a door for somebody. As well as good table manners. I hold doors for people every day to be polite and the amount of "thank you"s that I get are astoundingly low, but all of them matter immensely. SImply hearing "Thank you" can just improve my whole day, and when my sister doesn't demand for me to listen to other music, but instead asks if she can "please play her own music" while I take her home, it makes my day, (and even better if she says 'thank you' afterwards, because she often doesn't). It is important to be authentic yes, but 'please' and 'thank you' are some of the most genuine forms of appreciation, respect, and gratitude.
ReplyDeleteSO MUCH Agree!!
DeleteManners is a big factor that I use when I choose who I hangout with and choose to surround myself with. I like to choose to surround myself with people who share the same manners as me. I love the manners of saying “please” and “thank you”, it's a very small thing but it shows so much respect and connection to an action that was completed. A true “thank you” from someone can truly make my day and hopefully someone else's day. I also love the manner of not being interrupted when I am speaking and not interrupting someone who is speaking. My friends and I truly interrupt each other a lot when we are having a very funny or fast conversation and we both don't take it personally; but we also know not to do it when the other person is talking about a serious consecration or interrupting others.
ReplyDeleteThe manners that are most important to me are eye contact and tone. Sometimes the things that people say aren't mean per se but if they use a negative tone it suddenly becomes a lot less invitational and more rude. My mom has always been particularly corrective about tone of voice when it comes to manner in my household. Ironically I used to have a really hard time making eye contact when I was younger. That was another one of the things my parents strongly pushed on me though and now I've come to really appreciate people who make eye contact. A personal one to me that I value is people being on time. It shows the other person that you respect their time but also reflects on you that you're responsible/reliable and can manage your time. It also shows you hold to your agreements, if you say you'll do something (being on time) then you should hold to that. Or at the bare minimum at least message the person and notify them that you're running late in advance.
ReplyDeletePersonally, the manners that are most important to me are tone and saying please and thank you. I think tone is super important to get your point across, making it very important to make sure you use the right tone in a conversation. This is important in making sure that you speak respectfully to someone and don't give off negativity that you don't mean to. Please and thank you are also very important to me, even if they sometimes seem simple. A lot of people from other cultures don't use please and thank you in the same way as Americans, but I think it's really important. A simple please and thank you can let someone know that you're thankful for something they did for you, even if it was a small task. For example, if you say please when ordering at a restaurant, and thank you when your waiter delivers your food, you make a straightforward interaction much nicer for both parties. It will make sure to have everyone feeling a little bit happier and respected.
ReplyDeleteI’d say that manners are important to me and the most important ones are eye contact and just saying please and thank you. I grew up my whole life learning manners and I always feel appreciated whenever someone has good manners around me. Whenever someone tells me thank you, it just makes my day better, and if they’re maintaining eye contact when I’m talking, then I feel like I’m being heard. I play tennis and this sport requires a lot of manners as I’d say I say thank you around maybe 30 times a match to my opponent with them doing the same. However, not all of my opponents do this. Whenever they don’t, it kind of makes me feel like I’m not being respected and it just ruins the game.
ReplyDeleteFor me, saying "excuse me" is important when you have to get too close to another person. It shows that you respect the person's personal space and that you aren't trying to be rude. I also think it's important to show gratitude with a "please" and "thank you". I just think that it is important to respect people's space and time and ensure that you verbally appreciate them. You also need to maintain a pleasant tone when talking.
ReplyDeleteHere are my top ten manners that matter most to me!
ReplyDelete1. When someone is speaking to you, you don’t go off and do other things or go on your phone. You give them their full attention and show you’re listening. Also, don’t begin to talk about yourself or try to make yourself seem better.
2. Do not eat with your mouth open or talk with food in your mouth. The sound of people eating makes me want to vomit and it’s sooooo gross. Food can also spill out your mouth and no one wants to see or hear it.
3. SOCIAL CUES!!! If you notice something such as a booger or a stain on someone’s shirt, don’t shout it out and embarrass them, pull them aside and tell them.
4. Unless offered, don’t assume the person will pay for everything for you just because they suggested going out. (Going out to eat and not offering to pay or riding with someone and not offering gas)
5. NEVER order something high-priced if you’re not paying. You wouldn’t like your money being wasted like that so don’t take advantage of their kindness.
6. Try to clean up a little at restaurants. Just because they’re a waitress doesn’t mean you leave the place like a three-year-old unsupervised.
7. Treat other's items as you would like your items to be treated. I feel like this is common but it has been less and less common throughout the years. I can’t explain how many times people have done this to me.
8. Stop showing up late, canceling last minute, and changing plans excessively!! Our generation has normalized this and it’s super annoying. It ruins the other person's plans and makes all parties mad.
9. COMMIT TO PROMISES
10. Respect culture even if you don’t agree with it. Dress accordingly even if it may not be what you believe in.
These are AWESOME!! I agree with 100% of your list!
DeleteI don't know if it comes off as rude to most people, but I tend to try my best to avoid starting a conversation in a way that may be offensive. For example I'll start with an "I'm sorry, but," or a preface that explains some of the context. I feel that it's important to address people with respect, and give them the context behind something if it's necessary. It's most important, to me, to show respect for everyone. I care less about eye contact, though, I feel that being polite with your words is more important than with body language (though body language related manners are still important!).
ReplyDeleteManners are very important to me, it's hard for me to have a conversation or associate myself with someone that has bad manners. Eye contact and undivided attention are two very important manners, because if someone isn't engaged with the conversation, why should I waste my time? However, my biggest issue in regard of manners is how they address others, especially their parents. If they treat others poorly how do you expect them to treat you in the future especially in an argument.
ReplyDeleteYes - I think watching how someone treats people around them is a great indicator of character. My daughter says her rule is to watch how a person treats people in the service industry. This has actually proved very accurately telling!
DeleteI believe that simply behaving with consideration for others is what matters the most in this world. The simple practice of showing kindness in all possible aspects of your life will make you much happier and create more fruitful relationships. Something as simple as saying "please" and "thank you" is very important to me and is honestly hurtful when not provided. I also believe that showing up on time and responding to someone in a timely manner is very important because it shows that you actually care about others and their time.
ReplyDeleteThe manners which matter the most to me would be table manners and honoring your commitments. Table manners are important to me because they have been drilled into me as a child and now feel as though everyone should have table manners and is a very important part of life. Honoring your commitments is also important to me as well because it's important to be held accountable for your actions. The one that speaks the most to me was mind your table manners just because I believe it is essential for everyone to have table manners.
ReplyDeleteI think having a well rounded set of manners is extremely important. I personally try to embody all of them as much and as best as I can. Politeness and knowing your audience though, to me are the most important. So many people are impolite or disrespectful of their environments and the people around them. This also feeds into knowing your audience, its always best to know how rude or loud you can be around certain people, and what situations merit those behaviors.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger, I was afraid of talking to strangers even with saying "thank you" or "please". My parents would always tell me to quit being impolite. Now that I am older I am more polite and friendly but not too friendly because stranger danger. I always make sure that I listen to others to hear what they have to say. I try to make sure that I don't interrupt them but sadly I make the mistake in doing so. Once I realize my mistake I apologize and let them finish. To me having good manners means that you are polite and respectful. It is always a good thing to have and show good manners especially if it's the first impression.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this is manners or just a pet peeve I have but several times when we invite guests over to our home, they will just leave without helping clean at all. We are hosting a get together with family and friends and while my nieces and nephews can help, these being kids, the adult friends of my parents never will. I feel as they take advantage of our good tidings and never even asking if we want help. The tables, the floors, dishes, everything is never touched by any of them. I always clean up myself, ESPECIALLY, when I am at a friends house, its the least a person can do. My home is not a restaurant.
ReplyDeleteAgree. I usually will tell my guest "that is okay, thank you!" when they ask if they can help with dishes, but the fact that they offer and are willing speaks volumes about their respect for my home.
DeleteI think that there is no excuse for not trying to have good manners, especially in a public space. I always try by best to be polite and observant of those around me (weather my actions are perceived as such is another story) and I think that it shows a level of respect for those around me. I think that manners show a common understanding for people that we've never met, and levels the ground in our interactions with each other. My parents have drilled common manners into me since I was young to the point now where I do them almost unconsciously. The downside to this is now I am very aware of when other people don't follow the "rule book" of manners that I have been taught, and this does frustrate me because I interpret that as not being polite or respectful to those around. This is entirely just a pet peeve of mine, but I do truly think that manners are a sign of respect, and not having them is being disrespectful.
ReplyDeleteDanielle Young: I think "please, and thank you" are pretty important it always feels nice when someone says thank you to me for holding a door so I make sure to say thank you when someone does it for me. I do believe manners still exist in the younger generations but there is no expectation to be polite in new areas like the internet. An example of a place to be polite is a restaurant, you're expected to treat the staff nicely but on social media no one has raised the bar or properly acknowledged social media is a social space just like ones in real life. And one could argue there are rules of manners such as TOS on social media but they're the bare minimum.
ReplyDeleteI think one manner that is very important to me is always greeting people and saying goodbye after interacting with them. Ever since middle school I have done my best to say something along the lines of “Good morning/afternoon/evening” any time I enter a room and “Have a wonderful day/evening” when I exit it. Although it’s a small habit and doesn't take much time, I have recognized that it certainly makes a difference in how others perceive you. I try to do this while making eye contact and smiling, as this demonstrates that I respect and recognize the other individual. Whether this is when entering a classroom or greeting someone at a store or restaurant, I think that this has great importance and is something that many of us often forget.
ReplyDeleteNot only that, I think that it is very important to maintain a put-together appearance. Since my brother and I were young, our mom has taught us the importance of having combed hair, ironed clothes, and brushed teeth, and is very honest if we don’t meet such expectations. This is especially important for bigger occasions, including ceremonies, speeches, performances, etc. as people make judgements of your character off of such appearances whether we like it or not. This isn’t to say that I believe people need to doll themselves up everyday and be “red-carpet ready”, but I do understand that the small details make a big difference.
These two examples don’t take much time or effort but certainly have a large impact on how others perceive us; they help define my character in the eyes of others but have also impacted how I view others.
Agree! First impressions shouldn't be everything, but they are SUPER important!
DeleteMannerisms allow others to learn a lot about someone without truly knowing one another. The way people choose to interact through manners allow others to understand the kind of person they are. Personally, saying please and thank you are “basic” mannerisms that matter a lot, without them, requests sound more demanding and tone can be taken out of context. With them, people can understand that the request is polite and I believe as a person, you come across more courteous and well mannered. Another important manner to me is listening when others are speaking. When someone is speaking, it is very respectful to listen to demonstrate engagement and to show them that you are attentive to the conversation. Overall, I think manners are extremely important and can easily tell you a lot about someone.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteManners are always something that has been important to me. The top of my list is making meaningful eye contact. Making eye contact and showing that you are present and listening to a conversation is polite and lets people know you care. Staring aimlessly or looking at other things while someone is talking to you is rude, making it seem like you don’t care. It will make the other person not want to talk to you anymore. Another thing I value is being on time. Showing up late to places makes me anxious because I know it is impolite. Showing up on time proves to others that you have respectable priorities and you value their time as well.
Agree! Eye contact in the age of everyone on their phone has become more and more important to me, too!
DeleteI believe manners are very important to maintain society. Not only does it reflect your character, but it also reflects those who have raised you such as your parents. The manners that resonate with me the most are to honor your commitment, be present and on time, and eye contact. I always make sure I am on time to any plan or important gathering. Being on time is not only convenient, but also respectful to the individuals on the other end of the plans. It shows that you respect not only the person, but also their time. Eye contact is also extremely important to me because it shows attentiveness and respect. Knowing that someone is listening to you when you are telling them something important displays appreciation.
ReplyDeleteI have always believed that the most important manners to me were good eye contact, active listening, smiling, and knowing your audience. I think that eye contact and smiling really reflects if someone is listening and are engaged, it can give off emotions that are expressed from the conversation. I have always appreciated when someone gives me their undivided attention and care about the close engagement we have. This goes with active listening as it can show that you care about what someone has to say. Finally, I have always been observant of how someone feels through their body language and facial expressions as it can help bring a comfortable feeling to the person. It shows that you care about their well-being.
ReplyDeleteI fully believe that manners are very important in society because they greatly contribute to people's first impressions and are a great way to express gratitude and respect. I also believe that manners in our society are not as polished as they used to be, mainly in our interactions with strangers or acquaintances, due to the prevalence of online communication. For this reason, I think it is really important that people know how to appropriately introduce themselves to others, go out of their way to say please and thank you, and listen attentively. Especially in a situation where there are a lot of people who don't know each other, I think that introducing yourself properly and introducing people who might be too shy to get involved on their own goes a long way to make everyone feel included. Also, if you ask someone for a favor or they do something kind for you, express your gratitude and appreciation thoroughly and genuinely, because they deserve to be recognized and not taken for granted for being kind. Finally, I think the most important but also basic manner is to actually listen to people and be 100% engaged when someone is speaking to you. I don't feel respected when I am talking to someone that isn't fully engaged and asks me to repeat myself, but it is impressive and makes me feel special when people remember things about me from a conversation from another time. Good manners take effort but are completely worth it.
ReplyDeleteSo much agree. The art of really listening and engaging in conversation is one I am committed to preserving. People deserve to be and feel heard! It's the ultimate way to show someone respect.
DeleteSimple manners like saying please and thank you are what mean the most to me. Thanking someone for simple things goes a long way and is an easy way to help someone have a better day. Manners are very important when showing someone’s character and getting to know them as well. It creates an atmosphere of civility and kindness for people to feel appreciated and can result in a genuine connection or friendship with a person. Overall showing manners benefits you and others around which is why everyone should use them.
ReplyDeleteThe most important manners to me are probably verbal ones. Saying please, thank you, and other polite phrases helps make a positive impression on me. I am especially appreciative when someone knows how and when to give a proper apology. Apologies are extremely important to me because they help me determine whether or not a person truly feels bad about something. I feel very comforted when someone apologizes because it means that they genuinely care about how I feel.
ReplyDeleteYES!! And it shows humility and and understanding that making amends is vital to a valued friendship.
DeleteTo me, manners are very important and a huge part of respect. I’m glad to have grown up in a household where manners were emphasized. Saying “please and thank you”, maintaining eye contact when speaking to others, and not interrupting when someone is talking are very simple manners to have. I feel when a person has these manners, it just shows their character and positively reflects those who raised them. It represents the respect that they give. Saying “excuse me” is also a very important thing to me as it shows your consideration of other people’s space. I think it is important for everyone to have good manners in general. Its respectful, shows good behavior, and allows for us all to feel comfortable around each other.
ReplyDeleteA manner that matters to me is honoring commitments and being on time. It’s disrespectful to hold someone back or interrupt someone’s day by being late or absent. I don’t want others to feel disappointed or have their time wasted. I want others to be able to trust and rely on me, especially if it’s a bigger commitment. Another manner that matters to me is greeting people. It might be the people pleaser in me but when I’m at a lunch table or placed in a group for an assignment. I want to make sure we are all on the same page and that we are all present together, so I’ll say hello!
ReplyDeleteThough manners overall are important to me as I was raised to understand the impact and importance they hold, saying "please" and "thank you" as well as practicing active listening means a lot to me. When people don't say "please" and "thank you", it makes me feel like they are ungrateful for any favor I may have done for them. Meeting someone with well rounded manners always makes my day when they say "please" and "thank you" with a smile on their face. Personally, I don't care much about eye-contact as I struggle with keeping eye contact with people, but I truly value when people are actively listening to me. It's the worst feeling when I'm either ranting about something that frustrating to me, getting excited about something, or even just talking in general just to realize that they hadn't been listening the whole time. In all, manners are incredibly important to have and I believe that they are the gateway to making new relationships as manners make you seem friendlier and more open-minded.
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ReplyDeleteManners have always been important in my family, as my parents taught me them and I passed them down to my younger siblings. There is a genuine relationship built between people who use their manners with one another, as they know the other person respects them and their opinions. I find that knowing your audience when speaking is one of the most important tips to having good manners. In a world that shares different perspectives, such as in politics or what is believed to be ‘right or wrong’ it is important to honor someone's opinion and not shoot them down for it. In my life, I have met many people who share a different opinion than me, and I find it important to listen actively to what they say. I do not necessarily have to agree with their opinion, but showing I care that they have their own perspective, can really make a person feel good inside. This has also taught me to refrain from saying something that could be upsetting to a person, and realize that the simple childhood saying it right, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. It may not be easy to hold back our opinions or negative thoughts on someone's perspective, but we don’t want to shame them on their opinion and make them feel wronged. Sometimes, manners are really about being the bigger person in certain situations.
ReplyDelete** is
DeleteVERY well said. I think our American society needs this lesson!
DeleteManners are something I have found a bit confusing at times, only because they are not always explicitly identified or said. For example, table manners and whether or not you should have elbows on the table, which fork to use for salad, etc. For me to make sense of good manners as a child, I have thought about them as being kind, gracious, and considerate of others! Which essentially is what manners are as a whole. Manners that are important to me and which I find myself using in everyday life most are smiling, listening intently, being respectful of others' space and presence. I find that these are what can make or break people's opinion of you, and can get you far in your relationships with others. I think manners are a good tool to keep yourself in check and while also helping to easily establish good relations with others.
ReplyDeleteManners are very important to me and I strive to always have good manners wherever I am. For me, maintaining eye contact while engaging in a conversation is really important. When a person makes eye contact with me in a conversation it tells me that they are interested in the conversation and actually care about what I am saying. When a person does not make eye contact with me when I am speaking it shows me that they have no interest in what I am saying and are disrespectful. Also, simply saying, “please” and “thank you” is important because it is showing that you are polite and are thankful to others.
ReplyDeleteThe most important manners to me are saying “please” and “thank you”. I think this is a very simple way to show respect and it branches off into other manners such as the golden rule and treating others how you would like to be treated. I think it is very important to show gratitude to others for their actions, words, or work. Specifically, when they go out of their way to help or respect you, the respect should be reciprocated to show that you appreciate them. Understanding and supporting one another is a huge factor in maintaining a positive environment, and these simple phrases are an easy way to indicate respect to those around you.
ReplyDeletethe manners that matter most to me are the ones that show someone cares about what you're saying. Making eye contact when you're speaking, or the persons body language while you're talking are very important examples of this. Another one is the basic use of 'please' and 'thank you'. Its just so simple to say these things and they really mean a lot to me.
ReplyDeletePretend I capitalized "The"
DeleteI have always been told growing up that I had very good manners and I feel it is a key part of my character. Just a few weeks ago, I went to Jersey Mikes and the cashier said “You are very polite” to which I began thinking about why manners are so important to me. Having good manners is natural for me and it makes me grateful that I value holding myself to a high standard. I grew up in a family that placed a heavy emphasis on manners, especially my father. The way he taught me good manners is through what he learned growing up in a school that taught manners embedded in the program. For example, I learned table manners very early on and to this day they have stuck with me: put your napkin on your laugh, always chew with your mouth closed, and be kind to waiters. However, I developed a large portion of my manners naturally from who I am as a person. Smiling is one of the most important manners to me because it makes me feel good when other people also feel happy. I always want to be an approachable and open-minded person and I feel that smiling, along with active listening and eye contact have helped me to achieve this. Communicating intentionally is also important to me. For example, I rarely hold back a compliment because if I were in their shoes, I know it would make me feel good to receive the same compliment.
ReplyDeleteYou do have excellent manners! But you are also naturally assertive which is such an important combination!! :)
DeleteI was raised to put a lot of importance on all manners, but there are a couple that I consider more important than others. The first is active listening. I find that this one is the rarest, so I put more importance on it. I understand that it's hard to look someone in the eye, it can be weird or intimidating, but I know it makes all the difference when you do. Learning to look someone in the eye has greatly increased my confidence and made it easier to read facial expressions and better understand the feelings of others. My own struggle with it makes me notice more when someone is willing to look me in the eye, and I admire that they have the confidence to do so. The second is cleaning up after yourself, and taking it a step further, picking up trash when you see it. I greatly dislike littering so when I see trash on the floor or outside I make an effort to pick it up and throw it away. I find it is a little thing that makes a big difference in the world we live in.
ReplyDeleteTrash is a huge pet peeve of mine, too!!
DeleteTo me, one of the most beneficial manners to practice is the simple act of saying hello, and goodbye when engaging in and leaving conversations. Although such a small act doesn’t seem necessary, spending a few seconds to offer a friendly greeting leaves a good impression and might just make someone’s day. Saying hello is similar to making your bed in the morning. Although it doesn’t seem important, it affects you more than you realize. Active listening is another underutilized manner that people often forget or don’t care about. If you enter a conversation, you should be prepared to commit to it. No one like it when they talk to a brick wall. I’d rather whomever I was talking to ask me to be quiet rather than fane interest and only half listen.
ReplyDeleteYou are always very well mannered with greeting everyday. :). That is much appreciated. It makes those around you feel validated.
DeleteI would say manners are pretty important to me and I’d like to think my parents raised me to have good manners, especially in public. I do my best to be polite and not do or say things that could offend others. I would say out of the manners listed in the blog, knowing your audience is the most important to me. The majority of us are all guilty of saying things around people who we are comfortable with that may not be seen as acceptable in public. It sometimes shocks me when I am in a large group of people and someone says something out loud that, in my opinion, is not appropriate for the setting. I believe it is very important not to say certain things around others you don’t know because you never know who you could offend. Though we all need to do better about avoiding offensive topics and gossiping as a whole, I believe some people need to make a better effort of knowing their audience and evaluating whether or not they should say the things that come to mind before people become offended or feelings get hurt.
ReplyDeleteAs someone that is very antisocial, I honestly probably do not have many manners. I don't involve myself with many people, and the people I do I seldom involve in my life too deeply. I believe the manners most important are those that show respect and acknowledgement that other people do exist and that they deserve the same respects that I receive, though I understand this is vague. I wouldn't say I often go out of my way to assist others, though this excludes instances in which people require it. If someone is directly behind me, I may hold open a door. I understand myself that chewing with your mouth closed is annoying and rude, so I chew with my mouth closed as second nature (which I believe ALL people should do). Other than manners such as these I don't do much. I often include myself with others as little as possible, even at home. I will not go out of my way often to involve myself with others and manners commonly contradict these sentiments, so I don't usually express some.
ReplyDeleteYou are always very kind to wish people a good day and greet them in class, though! I think that people who prefer to be alone can still be proficient with manners when needed. :)
DeleteThe manners most important to me are those that show respect and engagement in a conversation. For example, I think the most important is body language. Having open and attentive body language shows me that you care about what I am saying and not just ignoring me or pretending to be engaged. Another important manner in a conversation is eye contact. This makes it clear that again you are focused and actually listening to what I'm saying and not distracted by surroundings. In addition, saying hello and goodbye is an important formality that I appreciate in a conversation.
ReplyDeleteI grew up around manners, and always work to hit the ones mentioned here when they are needed, although I personally struggle with keeping eye contact, and have been trying to help instill these values in my little brother (he’s only 5 right now so I understand). To me, some of the manners listed that matter the most to me is knowing your audience and actively listening. I always take caution in what I say, for when I do speak and appreciate when people take this to mind, and I avoid conflicts and drama when I can. For when I do talk, I appreciate being listened to so that I feel heard and understood, so this is crucial for me too.
ReplyDeleteOne of the manners I feel like i have grown up with is looking at whoever is speaking giving my full attention. It is one I feel like I treasure the most because whenever I am speaking at a competition and about something I find really enjoyable or interesting it can get discouraging if no one seems to be listening. It can also help the speaker to feel a sense of importance since the person listening seems to care about what they say
ReplyDeleteAs I am trying to answer this blog I wonder if I have any manners. I know that I say thank you as much as I can if I ask for anything. I also love smiling, listening actively, and maintaining eye contact when I am meeting new people because it shows respect and that I care about what they are saying. However one of the biggest things that my parents have told me not to do is to keep talking in periods of silence. When I am with friends, I feel really uncomfortable when it's quiet so I like to fill the silence, but I tend to get carried away and just keep rambling. I personally don’t really care about people’s manners because I can usually laugh it off.
ReplyDeleteI do too! I feel like the pressure is on for me to keep everyone entertained. But I have learned your parents are right. Reflection time is needed and healthy. Silence is okay, and when we are comfortable in it, it makes others comfortable too. I think you have very good manners!
DeleteI think the manners that matter most to me would be to actually listen to people when they are talking and not be distracted or focused on something else. When I genuinely am involved in a conversation I am listening to what others are saying and this makes both them and me have a better experience and I understand more at the end of the conversation. Also, I feel like another manner that is important to me is smiling to others around you, because it brightens everyone’s day a little when they see someone smiling at them and they usually smile back. For me, the most important interactions between people are non-verbal, and smiling is a way that you can communicate with others without having to say a word.
ReplyDeleteYou are a very good listener I think. I have observed this in the classroom. You give people eye contact, you smile, and you nod to affirm you are listening. :). That is so important!
DeleteManners are a basic courtesy and are often unappreciated and not practiced. The extra second to say please and thank you can benefit the receiver and leave a good impression. One manner that is important is eating with your mouth closed, it's so gross when people munch loudly away and I have to see and hear it all. Eye contact is important as well, to give the person you are talking to respect and because it's hurtful when someone is not giving you their undivided attention when you are talking with them.
ReplyDeleteIn my experiences, I've noticed that keeping eye contact while talking can make a huge difference. I recently talked to a Marine recruiter and he was very impressed with me, and I feel like that was because I had tried so hard to be well mannered. I think if I hadn't tried so hard, he wouldn't have tried very hard to get me to join. The way I see it, it's a Golden Rule type of situation. I gave him my full attention while he was speaking, and he gave me his full attention while he was speaking, even though I am much younger than him and he easily outranks me. It made me feel like I was talking to a friend and not some random guy in my house. I appreciate when people show manners because it shows they care about what you have to say.
ReplyDeleteTATUM AGUILAR:
ReplyDelete"I think today, manners are seen and practiced less than they should be with most communication being physically and mentally interfered with by technology. With this, I’m glad to hear and see that others still hold the values of basic courtesy and mannerisms. This is very important to me in an individual. I feel like basic courtesy and being polite includes the daily use of “please” and “thank you” to show gratitude and kindness towards others. In addition, saying “excuse me” or “I’m sorry” when getting close to someone or bumping into somebody to show that you respect their personal space as well as your own. Without these basic manners, respect and appreciation of an individual begin to lose meaning. Something else that’s important to me is making sure that you are engaged when in a conversation with another person. Whether this be through eye contact, direct engagement through discussion, or simple signals of attention such as nodding your head or expressing emotion, engagement is key when conversing with someone, or else the experience feels meaningless as it lacks connection. Another piece to this is making sure your tone and language are appropriate for the given setting to show your consideration for others' time and experience."
Beautifully said!!
DeleteEDDIE ACEVES:
ReplyDeleteManners are important to me because they reflect my character, values, and respect for others. Good manners may provide a good first impression, facilitate communication, and improve both your personal and professional connections. This make’s it hard for me to have a conversation with someone who has bad manners. For me eye contact and your full undivided attention is very big when having a conversation. People shouldn’t be on their phone and or having a different conversation when having one with someone. Additionally, having good manners may help you feel more confident and respect yourself since it demonstrates that you are courteous, attentive, and socially aware when speaking to others.
SARAH EMMETT
ReplyDeleteThe manners that matter to me most are eye contact and full attention. I have always been raised to give someone your full attention, whether that be taking out your headphones when someone speaks to you or not talking over, or doing something else while they are talking to you. Eye contact is also another manner very important to me as I have also struggled with it. I try my best in order to make and maintain eye contact with whomever I talk with, and I believe that the other person should also try their best to maintain eye contact in order to illustrate the fact that they are listening and paying attention.
TOY LANDERS
ReplyDeleteI agree that manners don't cost anything and anyone can choose to be polite. It makes me sad when I see kids whose parents haven't taught them basic manners and they don't know any better. I don't think it is their fault, yet they come off as rude. I am grateful for my parents who taught me to firmly shake hands, use eye contact, and reply with Yes sir, Yes ma'am, please, thank you, and You're welcome. I think all of these small gestures make a big difference in first impressions. I think being mindful, aware of, and respectful of those around us is important. I also value empathy and attempting to put ourselves in others' shoes and see life through their lens. I think the lack of character development in society is notable. I enjoyed taking a "Leadership" class throughout middle school, and I think it is important to learn real-life social skills in school. I agree that is much easier for disrespect and contention to flourish behind the screens of social media. I think media is one of the biggest tools Satan uses to drag people down and destroy relationships. Rarely do I see real manners exhibited on social media. One thing that I have struggled with is knowing my audience; when to make certain jokes. One thing I think am good at is smiling. I smile as much as I can, at everyone. I have my off days, but I think smiling is better than choosing to be grumpy. I'm grateful for my experiences, strengths, and struggles, as a teen and am excited to one day teach my kids about manners, and watch them learn.
One of the biggest things for me is tone, while I wouldn’t necessarily consider this a manner, I still believe it's important and plays a role in them. I believe using a controlled tone allows people to better present themselves in public. Utilizing a positive tone or a neutral tone benefits people on a day to day (in my experience). If you are consistently snappy or have a harsh and negative tone it brings down others and affects their mood and how they see you. Another manner that is important to me (I will admit I have not been using it in public lately and probably should start again) is “yes ma’am” and “no sir”. While it may be controversial to some I believe it goes that little extra mile to show respect to adults. I believe it is important to respect adults and one way of showing said respect is through communicating it.
ReplyDeleteTop five manners that matter to me:
ReplyDelete1. Don't talk over people. I always try to respect others speaking time because the opinion of the person i'm talking to is just as important as mine. If you have something to say in response, take a mental note and when its your turn to speak, say it. I feel like this is more engaging because you actually have to be paying attention to know when it is your turn to speak and it also makes your responses have more meaning and substance to them. If not, then the other person is going to become a brick wall, letting whatever you have to say fall flat. A conversation should not be a competition of who can speak more or who can be heard louder, but an equal balance of free, meaningful engagement.
2. BE AWARE OF PERSONAL SPACE! Oh my gosh I cannot stress this enough. Keep a safe, comfortable, and considerable distance from the person standing next to or in front of you. I cannot tell you how many times people are not aware of how close they are standing next to or behind me in lines. It does NOT get to your desired destination any faster and it makes the other person feel very uncomfortable when their personal bubble is invaded. If I can feel/hear your breath or sense your body heat take a step back! It does not cost you anything to be socially conscious of the distance between you and another person and take a step back. I think this mannerism gets overlooked in today's world, however, I believe this is extremely considerate. So i'm begging you, please, please, please be aware of social distance.
3. Be respectful to your elders. Though this sentiment is often made fun of especially if someone tells you "Hey! respect your elders!" and the person telling you this is only a year older than you then, yes, of course, it loses its meaning. However, I believe it is important to show respect to your elders in reference to being a young, able body. If something is dropped, please don't make your 70 year old grandma pick it up, it's not a good look. Be willing to help out to the best of your abilities and actually spend time making quality connections with them. Its mutually beneficial because they have a lot of valuable knowledge and skills to pass down and they feel respected and heard.
3. Smile. I don't mean to give fake smiles to everyone you meet or when you don't feel like it because I understand that it can get socially exhausting. However, if you are willingly engaging in a conversation, please show that you are somewhat pleased to see the person or if someone is providing you a service (aka be nice to cashiers, janitors, medical assistance, etc.) . It makes the conversation flow in a positive way and it just makes everyone feel good at the end of the day to see a beautiful, inviting smile.
4. I think this particular mannerism is just how I was raised, if someone is offering to pay something, please don't order anything more expensive than what the other person is getting. I personally, feel so bad when they are being nice and offering to pay for something and I order something expensive; I feel like i'm absolutely shattering their bank account.
5. Respect other peoples religions, cultures, sexual and physical orientations. I think this is so very important in the progression of our society and ever expanding diversity. If you see someone of another faith and they are expressing their faith outwardly (in reference to clothing like turbans, hijabs, veils, etc.) don't stare, touch, or judge them or anyone for that matter. Additionally if your going somewhere like a temple or place of worship, even if you don't believe in it yourself, be respectful to dress codes. This also ties into culture, as it is important to be aware, appreciate, and respect its practices Ultimately, what i'm saying is be a good human being and practice the golden rule: treat people how you want to be treated. It's not fair to push your own agenda, faith, social, or political beliefs on someone who is innocently living their daily life.
With that, thank you for reading!
GREAT and thoughtful list!
DeleteExpressing good manners has always been important to me as I believe that they are a reflection of not only what a person values, but their ability to understand the people around them. Obviously, we maintain different mannerisms around different people, and we establish distinct rules when interacting with various groups. Knowing your audience and being courteous of them is simply the right thing to do. I myself have certainly failed at this at times, but when someone brings it to my attention, I become more intentional with and conscious of my actions. When we fail to do so, it can cause a lot of hurt for others who believe that they aren't being seen and cared for. I believe that taking responsibility for your shortcomings and bettering yourself ultimately leads to a more respectful and positive relationship with anyone.
ReplyDeleteI have gone through my life so far trying to be very conscientious of manners. One that sticks out to me in particular is holding the door for others/saying thank you when others hold the door. On an average week, I would say that I hold the door almost every other day at least. I think the reason for this is that my dad is very keen on reminding my sisters and me to say thank you when someone holds the door and to also help out and hold the door for others when possible. His reminders are likely one of the main reasons why I have grown up with good manners. To be completely honest, sometimes I will get slightly annoyed now when he gives me these reminders, especially since I most often use good manners already, but then I remember that if not for my parents telling me again and again to "say thank you", "ask nicely", "apologize", "hold the door for them", or "push your chair in at the table", I wouldn't be nearly as well-mannered, especially in today's society where it unfortunately doesn't seem as common to do these things. Good manners are part of the reason I got my job in customer service and part of the reason I am usually able to get along with most people. Manners are very important to me since I believe it is the moral decision to be respectful. When genuine manners are shown to me, I feel respected and it makes my day a little better and I think that it is only right then to follow the Golden Rule and treat others the way I want to be treated.
ReplyDeleteManners have always been important to me growing up. I feel verbal manners are extremely important, especially when it comes to an apology. I've noticed when talking to people and when they're sincere they take responsibility for their actions, rather than shifting the blame onto other people. To me this shows a great amount of manners and respect to the other person. However, I feel that there is more to etiquette than just learning to wait your turn to speak or say please and thank you. Social responsibility, effective communication, and appropriate situational response are some of the fundamental skills needed for etiquette. My parents had always tried their best to ingrain appropriate manners to me while I was young. I always wonder to this day if I have good manners, because I truly try my best to respect everybody that I come across.
ReplyDeleteSome manners i value a lot:
ReplyDelete1: Listening and understanding. This sounds very obvious, but i think its important to let people finish their points and defend them before responding. I, honestly, have had a problem with voicing my opinion before someone is finished talking, however this is a habit I've been trying to break. I understand how it makes a person feel to be invalidated on their point or interrupted, and I feel guilt whenever i let my impulses get the better of my respect. This is a habit I've been working on fixing for a while now, and I believe I've made progress, but i still have work to disable that impulse entirely.
2: Boundaries. I think this one has become a particular issue recently because of social media specifically. Its broken down walls between people and now the newer generations seem to be more comfortable around strangers and adults, which makes them feel like manners are unnecessary. I think this is a problem, because assuming everyone is your friend will overstep someones boundaries and make people uncomfortable. Especially in professional situations, this can be a huge problem.
3: Honesty: I think a lot of people try to spare other peoples feelings and call it manners, but i think of this differently. I think its more respectful to tell someone a truth they may not want to hear than lying. There are, of course, exceptions to this. But to lie to someone, especially when asked, is disrespectful and hurtful. Etiquette, in my mind, is in place to make sure everyone is comfortable and feels respected in situations with new people. To overstep these would be insulting and uncomfortable.
4: Apologizing: The classic 'thank you' and 'your welcome' are two manners that i think are important, because it shows that you recognize someone's efforts and that they're appreciated. Along with these, I think it's also important to know how to apologize to people. When someone is wrong and is unable to acknowledge it or apologize for it, it's very unprofessional and rude. It also makes the person seem less reliable because they demonstrate that they can't be responsible for their past mistakes.
A very well thought out list - lots of reflection and honesty. I think we all have things we need to work on -- that continues as we age. The list changes, but we can always be better. It is the ability to see those things and seek to change them that is most important. :)
DeleteSome of the most important manners to me are being polite in conversation, being helpful, actively listening, and thinking before acting.
ReplyDeleteManners have always been important to me and I can say the majority of it is because of my parents. They taught me that manners are everything and they can show how you carry yourself as a person and how you were raised. I think that being polite plays into it a lot too, it's almost like muscle memory to say thank you and your welcome when people do nice things or when I do nice things. It's a matter of respect and I'm glad my parents taught me manners from the beginning.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think that the manners that matter most to me are showing gratitude, being polite, cleaning up after yourself, and eye contact. With showing gratitude I feel like this comes in the form of saying thank you when it's deserved/needed, or appreciating when someone does something for you. I think it's just the most respectful thing you can do when someone offers you their service or is kind to you. This kind of coincides with being polite, my parents have always taught me to say please and thank you for certain things. It can be as little as someone opening the door for you, that is being polite and showing gratitude. Cleaning up after yourself is one of the biggest ones for me I think. I think it is kind of disrespectful to leave things a mess, or messier than when you initially started. Not only is it respect for other people, but it is self-respect as well to simply not be messy. Finally, I think eye contact is super important when having manners because it goes with the fact of paying attention and actively listening/showing that you are engaged. When you're not looking the person in the eye and it seems like you're looking all over the place, it can come across as not caring or being distracted. That's all :)
ReplyDeleteMy mom made it very obvious from a young age that being polite, and having manners was one of the most important things. She said this because she thinks that they not only represent who you are as a person but also the people you associate with. I completely agree. Personally, I believe that saying please and thank you are the most important manners one should show. I believe it is extremely disrespectful and embarrassing when I am around friends who do not say please or thank you. I can also tell the people whom they should be saying please and thank you to, seem to be fed up and annoyed. Having these basic manners are extremely important because they represent who you are, and what your morals are.
ReplyDeleteAmong the many manners that are significant to me are civility, respect, and regard for others, all of which are essential for fostering happy relationships and a civil society. Saying please and thank you, holding open doors for others, and demonstrating empathy for others are just a few examples of simple deeds that important to me because they contribute to the creation of a welcoming and respected atmosphere for everyone. Manners are crucial for fostering pleasant social interactions, fostering connections, facilitating social interactions, and even attaining success in a number of key areas of my life.
ReplyDeleteI believe some of the good mannered habits that matter the most are the simple ones. For one, holding the door for the person behind you, it takes very little effort or time, but still shows respect. In public, I think it's important not to make one's environment uncomfortable. Things such as staying out of their personal space and making little noise. Other simple things, such as saying please and thank you and other things of the such are so easy there is no reason not to do them.
ReplyDeleteWhen mountain biking, it's also important to mind my manners. It's important to show that you care for the safety of the people you pass, slowing down, moving aside, giving a quick hello. Another important thing is to give help to people who need it, such as someone with a flat tire on the side of the trail.
The most imortant manners to me are the ability to understand your audience. This is important because knowing when it is appropriate versus when it isn't appropriate to act or speak a certain way can go so far as hurt relationships with those we live with and those we care about. It is important to me to know who I am speaking to and to treat them with the respect that they believe is appropriate and in doing so, I can develop more meangingful relationships. I also think it is important to think before you act, because not doing so could result in unforseen consequences and I think it is important to be intentional with every decision.
ReplyDeleteThe most important manners to me are being open minded with those you are talking to. When you are having a conversation with someone, ti generally seems that others only want to express their own opinion without being open minded and willing to listen to what the other person has to say. It hurts when one is trying to speak their mind and all they are receiving in ignorant answers without being aware of how their actions are affecting the other. Another one that is important to me is simply acknowleging those close to you. It is not a problem if one starts talking to their friends less, but then treat them like garbage and then come back to those same friends expecting golden treatment is unacceptable. Therefore, it is highly important to me that others understand that just because someone treats them like garbage before, does not mean that the other person does not have the right to ignore if one pleases to.
ReplyDeleteI like manners that surround boundaries and respect. Both kind of lean on one another. BOundraies is big because you respect and value the privacy, feelings, and comfort of another person. ANd it should be done unto you as well, because I think that, frabkly, NOTHING is more rude than someone barging through your boundaries anddisregarding your presense as a person. As fo respect, I'm not talking about to your elders. Sure, it's important to do that because they're older and hence wiser and more experienced than you, but osme authority and elder figures do not NEED to be respected, because they do not desrve it due to their lack of respect to you. It is good to respect elders in a casual manner? Yes! But you shouldn't eb disregarding your own self-worth by "respecting" a person who doesn't deserve it. I refer to "resepect" as a way of appreciating someone who desreves to be appreciating. They are recognized and given a say and a voice, because they earned it. Should everyone be given causal respect? Yes! But again, not everyone should be "respected" in a sense that they have more power than you and disrespecting your own worth.
ReplyDelete(if that makes sense, I don't know. if my typing is attrocious, I'm too tired to fix my spelling mistakes and, frankly, hideous typing skills)
I believe manners are ideal when interacting with another person. I find it difficult to have conversations with people who can not maintain eye contact, who use inappropriate language in every other sentence, or do not properly engage in the conversation by not giving their full attention. I myself do find that I will not start conversations with people and I am not certain if that comes off as rude. But when a conversation is started that I am apart of, they have 100% of my attention.
ReplyDeleteAlthough it is very basic, saying please and thank you is absolutely 100% necessary for manners, especially because having grown up where saying those are considered the nice thing to do, it feels ungrateful and directly disrespectful if someone offers you something, holds a door open, lets you stay in their home, etc. without showing some type of appreciation. I always make sure to thank people even when I don't take something that they offer to me, specifically because I try to show gratitude for them thinking about my wants, and for caring to show regard for me by helping to improve my day or happiness.
ReplyDeleteI think good manners have been around for a long time, and for good reason. While their strict existence in society is definitely starting to diminish, basic manners are very important in building respect for yourself and for others. There are so many observable differences between families and groups when it comes to what is normal and what isn't under the proper manner category. For example, shoes have always been allowed in my house, so the first time I hung out with a friend at their house and kept my shoes on, I didn't understand that it is often taken as a sign of disrespect. Another example is eye contact. I grew up having a really hard time making eye contact, and my parents grew to accommodate that, but I still had grandparents upset that I wouldn't look them in the eye.
ReplyDelete