TRUE GRIT: PUSHING BEYOND THAT FORTY PERCENT

To this day, I believe the most incredible speech ever given by a human being is McRaven's inspiring commencement speech at the University of Texas:  "If You Want to Change the World, Start by Making Your Bed."  That has become my favorite pep talk to rewatch - even though I still struggle with making my bed on a daily basis.  I had the opportunity to read an interview with McRaven and others, and once again, I was stunned.  When training the future SEALS, McRaven said something to the effect that his job was not to teach them things they didn't know how to do. These guys are the best of the best when it came to physical conditioning and athleticism.  His job was to push them beyond that forty percent.

What does that mean?  Well, earlier in the interview, McRaven said that when we, as humans reach the point of exhaustion, we still have only used about sixty percent of our capacity.  That means, we have forty percent left. Forty percent!  That's a lot, when you really think about it!  So, what is it that holds us back from pushing harder?  What is it that keeps us from accessing that power that we have in our own reserve tank?  How do we learn to push beyond to achieve that result we so desire?

I have thought a lot about this over the years.  I have watched individuals and teams achieve what many had said was impossible.  I have seen people shut down incredible odds to realize their dreams. What is it, exactly, that enables them to do that?  I believe it is that same thing that sets the SEALS apart in their training as elites:  They manage to push beyond into that extra forty percent.

In my own experience and observation, and in listening to those who have coached and achieved the impossible, here is what I have learned:

1.  "Any team can win on any given day" (Terry Bradshaw).  It all comes down to gumption.  How badly do you want this?  How far are you willing to push yourself to get it?  My mother used to say all the time, "Is this a mountain you want to die on?"  Same thing.  How important is it?  Your mind is king when it comes to pushing your physical limits.  Many think it is the condition of the body.  It is, to a degree.  But even more powerful is the will of your mind.  It is profound.  In short, passion is just about everything.

2.  "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment" (Jim Rohn).  My dad called this work ethic.  Achieving the impossible requires discipline.  Discipline requires denying yourself things that you want now for the ultimate goal you dream to achieve then.  I have been very hard on my kids when it comes to this one.  Maybe your parents have, too.  You can play later.  Work and chores first.  It's a lesson I started learning very young.  My own father lived in poverty in South Dakota.  His home didn't even have actual flooring - it was dirt.  They lost their farm once, and had to work hard to get it back.  He had to set out on his own at thirteen because he didn't want to be a farmer like his father. He lived at a boarding house, trading a place to live for cooking breakfast, cleaning, and other chores. He worked three  jobs in high school, and went ROTC to pay for university.  After serving his country in the Korean War and landing a job with a huge retailing company, he promised loyalty as an executive with that company in exchange for them financing his Masters at NYU.  He was a self-made millionaire.  When dad told us to finish our work and honor our commitments, we didn't challenge him!

3.  "I like criticism.  It makes you strong" (LeBron James).  Another thing that separates the wildly

successful from the moderately successful is their ability to take and apply criticism.  If I may be perfectly candid, our society has, in SO many ways, gone soft.  We have spent so much time focused on making everyone feel good about themselves, we have lost that art of offering and seeking constructive criticism.  If you cannot take criticism, you cannot grow.  You cannot develop.  You cannot challenge yourself to push harder.  Character is built through adversity, not compliments and fluff.  I like this metaphor:  Adversity is a knife that carves out character.  Embrace opportunities that come disguised as challenges.  They make you strong.  They make you better.

4.  "Have patience.  Everything is difficult before it is easy" (Saadi).  Sometimes, the fastest way to something is far from the best way.  I have found in my life that anything that is worth having requires both hard work AND patience.  You may hear a thousand no's, but all you need is that one yes!  Instead of hearing no, hear "Not Now."  Waiting is SO hard....but anyone who has had to endure waiting knows it takes a lot of energy.  Patience is the art of enduring the wait and keeping the upbeat, will do (not can do) attitude.

5.  "Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail" (Ralph Waldo

Emerson).  Closely related to patience (I call it patience's twin) is persistence.  You must have the endurance to persevere.  At the risk of using a corny runner's metaphor, Life is a marathon, not a sprint.  To those with big dreams, it is a race.  You need to tackle it as such.  Looking forward to what lies ahead is much more productive than looking back.  Use the hard lessons, pain and hurt to propel you forward. You'll be a better person with a stronger character and lots of wisdom that way when you do reach your summit!

In all of this, be kind.  Accept the help and support of others, and when you have achieved, offer what you have learned to those who are in the midst of the storms of struggle.  Inspire others!  And always, above all things, be grateful.  Nobody reaches beyond that forty percent without someone shouting encouragement and urging them on along the sidelines.

I hope this is helpful in some small way.  At the very least, maybe it will give you something to think about as you assess your goals and dreams, your gifts and talents, and your willingness to push beyond that forty percent.

Attached, are two articles about pushing beyond limits.  As our theme this year is Perseverance, I have also attached a very interesting Ted Talk about Grit and how it is really our "Grittiness" not our natural intelligence, that is the best predictor of future success.

After you read the articles below,  listen to the Ted Talk, and take the Grit test, respond to this blog by giving YOUR advice for pushing beyond that 40%.  What was your Grit Score?  What does grit and determination look like for you?

Article #1:  https://hbr.org/2012/07/how-hard-are-you-willing-to-pu.html
Article #2:  http://dereklauber.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-summiting-everest-running-inventing-light-bulbs/

Grit and Perseverance Ted Talk  https://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_grit_the_power_of_passion_and_perseverance?language=en
Grit Test:  https://sasupenn.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_06f6QSOS2pZW9qR?Q_JFE=qdg   

KNOW THYSELF: 2018

Communication break-down can occur at any time and in many different settings.  There's Group
Project Anxiety: everyone has great ideas at discussion meetings, but you feel like the only one with a sense of urgency to get any actual work done.  There's Discussion Frustration:  whenever you engage in a discussion with your group, you feel as if your thoughts and ideas are not valued or brushed aside with no regard to your feelings.  And finally, there is just sheer information overload: why is it that after a full day of school, you feel completely zapped of energy, consumed by an overwhelming need to be where people are not?

We all realize that we are social creatures.  We seek out and thrive within interpersonal relationships.

We long to be heard and appreciated, to create and explore.  This is probably not new information.  Rewarding as they may be, however, relationships of every type are complex and not without their difficulties.  People are different.  Where we come from, our experiences, our beliefs, and our DNA all go into who we are, how we see and interpret the world, and how we communicate.

Many corporations have invested large sums of money on consultants with one goal in mind:  to improve inter-office communication and efficiency.  Where do you begin?  The communicators, themselves!  Knowing who you are helps you to better understand how and why you communicate the way that you do.  Knowing who your co-workers are can help you better understand how to communicate with them more effectively and efficiently.

So, as Aristotle taught centuries ago, we will begin by seeking the wisdom that comes from knowing ourselves.  Here is a link to a personality inventory:  http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test  Once you complete the test, you can have your results emailed to yourself and you can read all about your personality type: how you relate to others, how others see you, how you work, etc.

The test takes about 20 minutes, but it provides a wealth of information as it analyzes four distinct areas of personality and then adds a fifth area that analyzes overall identity.  It is created from a combination of the infamous Myers/Briggs and Carl Jung's Theory of Psychological Types.  The four areas are explained as follows:

1.  Introversion vs Extroversion: (I vs. E) This is more than just "shy" vs. "outgoing."  In fact,

according to Jung, it is really not about that at all.  It has to do more with where you get your energy.  Do you find yourself getting energized when you are around others, or do you find that you need to be away from people to re-energize?
2.  Intuitive vs. Sensing: (N vs. S) Intuitives are creative, imaginative and curious individuals who are open-minded.  They tend to go with novelty over stability and see/feel possibilities.  They tend to have strong discernment in new situations.  Sensing or Observant individuals are practical, pragmatic and down to earth.  They tend to have strong habits and rather than going with their gut, they are more focused on what has happened or what is happening.

3.  Feeling vs. Thinking: (F vs. T) Feeling individuals are sensitive and emotionally expressive.  They are more empathetic and tend to be less competitive than T's.  They tend to focus on social harmony

and cooperation.   Thinkers focus on objectivity and rationality, prioritizing logic over emotion.  They tend to hide their feelings and value efficiency over cooperation.

4.  Judging vs. Perceiving or Prospecting: (J vs. P)  Judging personalities are decisive, thorough and highly organized.  They value clarity, predictability and closure preferring structure and planning to spontaneity.  Perceiving individuals are good at improvising and spotting opportunities.  They are flexible, relaxed, non-conformists who prefer to keep their options open.

Identity Variables of Assertive vs. Turbulent: (A vs. T)Assertive types are confident, self-assured and pretty resistant to stress.  They do not push themselves too hard.  The turbulent types are self-conscious and sensitive to stress. They are perfectionistic types who experience a wide array of emotions.

So, test away, and then....
1.  IDENTIFY YOUR FOUR LETTER PERSONALITY, then put a dash, and A OR T.
2.  COMMENT ON ANY SURPRISES OR EXPECTATIONS.
3.  NOW, as a BONUS, click this link, and find out if you are more left or right brained, and let me know your results!  https://www.arealme.com/left-right-brain/en/

 For example:  I am an INFJ - T.   This was absolutely no surprise to me, but a big surprise to those who know me, as I come across as an extrovert (SO not true!)   I think this is because I am a people pleaser, a trait I am working hard on to mellow.  I am also a J, but BARELY.  I need to feel organized in my environment, but DO NOT open any drawers!  They show my true, right-brained, messy creativity!  Now, it's your turn!


*Images by:  Kim Anderson Photography,  All rights reserved.