A puzzle that is missing just enough important pieces so that you cannot quite make out a picture. A film with no sound. A wink without a smile. A street with no name.
Each description above refers to something that is, sadly, incomplete. They are, also, in and of themselves incomplete thoughts; they do not quite fit the definition of a complete sentence. They are the pet peeve of English teachers everywhere--grammatical garble--fractional phrases.
They are (cue the doomsday music) sentence fragments.
So...is fixing a fragment just making a sentence a little longer by adding details? Let's take a look at this famous sentence from the Bible: Jesus wept. It is famously known as the shortest verse in the Bible, but it is, in fact, a complete sentence. It offers a subject (Jesus) and a verb (wept).
So...how do we go about fixing a fragment? Fixing a sentence fragment involves one of two things: giving it the components it lacks or fastening it onto an independent clause (complete idea). Consider the following example: There are many ways to frighten little brothers and sisters. For example, by hiding under their beds and waiting for dark.
There are many ways to frighten little brothers and sisters; for example, by hiding under their beds and waiting for dark.
Too formal? No problem. Try this instead:
There are many ways to frighten little brothers and sisters. For example, you could hide under their beds and wait for dark.
Bingo! In both cases, you now have a structurally sound sentence: you have completed them.
No one thought that Ethan could make the jump; it was just too high. All the same, he was determined to astound us. No matter what.
And he did.
REALIZE YOUR TEXT TYPE. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. KNOW YOUR PURPOSE. Figure out exactly what it is you are trying to say and how you wish to communicate it, and, of course, to whom. But make sure that, regardless, you recognize sentence fragments and realize how to complete them. Then, if and when you discover an appropriate moment to break these rules...
You'll know why.
Now that you are aware of this common problem in IB writing, I hope you will be more mindful of it. Respond to this blog by correcting the five fragments below and then commenting on what you are hoping to polish in your writing by the end of this year.
As you go forth into the grand finale of our time together this year (and seniors, as you prepare for exams!), may ALL of your thoughts, ideas, plans, and sentences be complete!
1. Slammed the door and left.
2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. Because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference.
5. Required a better reason.
1. As the fire grew, she slammed the door and left the burning house.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves started to look more dull as winter came around.
3. Because it was raining, many cars were going slow on the roads.
4. Although she never realized the difference, the colors on the page were much brighter due to lighting.
5. She wanted to stay at home from school but she required a better reason for her mom.
I hope to extend my vocabulary to make my writing more detailed and developed so I can sound more professional.
1) As the smell grew worse, he slammed the door and left the bathroom stall.
ReplyDelete2) The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves began to grow more vibrant as spring came round.
3) She ran inside with her clothes soaked, because it was raining.
4) Although she never realized the difference, she was already late to work.
5) He claimed the dog ate his homework, but the teacher required a better reason for his lost papers
I hope to improve my grammar in order to become more fluent within what I say.
1. As she responded with a scream, she slammed the door and left the house she once called home.
ReplyDelete2. She stopped and watched as the birch trees with their butter yellow leaves tussled in the autumn wind.
3. Because it was raining, students were required to eat lunch inside.
4. Although she never realized the difference, the people around her grew weary of the changing climate condition.
5. Even though he answered every question, she required a better response to convey his true feelings about her.
My goal is to develop a better understanding of the complexities of grammar and be able to utilize fun punctuation such as ";" correctly.
After the argument, my sister angrily slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2) The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves glistened in the sunlight.
3) The party was cancelled, because it was raining.
4) Melisa had been using salt instead of sugar when making the cake; although she never realized the difference.
5) Toby begged his mother to buy him a new toy, saying how he’d be the “happiest boy in the world”, but his mother required a better reason.
1. Once she saw the cockroach on the floor, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves provided shade in the summertime.
3. She decided to put on a coat because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, her room had become a mess.
5. He said he was late because of traffic, but the teacher required a better reason.
I wish to have a better structure and have my writing flow better. I also want better introduction and conclusion paragraphs.
1. As the intensity in the argument grew, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves fell to the ground as the weather got colder.
3. The children played in the puddles, because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, her little sister was growing up fast.
5. The little boy wanted money to get a candy bar from the corner store, his mother required a better reason.
I want to be able to find the flow in my introduction and conclusion paragraphs.
1. Micheal grew more frustrated with his assignment so he slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. Tara sat beneath the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves and read her book.
3. The team was told they could not continue the baseball game because it was raining.
4. Eva continued to use clorox instead of bleach although she never realized the difference.
5. Max was told he could no longer play video games because of his grades, but he required a better reason.
I would really like to better articulate my thoughts and their flow when writing, especially when tying together pieces of evidence.
- Deacon Hunt
Delete1) His girlfriend was infuriated by his demeanor, so she coldly slammed the door and left the dimly lit room.
ReplyDelete2) The captivating scene was brought to life by the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves, casting a warm and inviting glow across the serene forest.
3) The state fair had to close early because it was raining, leaving several families frustrated and upset.
4) Although she never realized the difference her optimism brought to the lives around her, the encouragement in her words touched the hearts of many of her peers.
5) He claimed the atomic bombing was unjustified, arguing that committing such an atrocious crime required a better reason than a swift end to the war.
I would like to improve on format and structure. I believe my organizational skills could use improvement, so that the message I attempt to articulate is more cohesive. Furthermore, I would like to make my conclusions link back to the rest of my paper to a more significant extent. I want to connect the points I make in my paper in a more smooth manner, for I believe this will greatly elevate my writing.
1. After pestering his sister for an hour, he slammed the door and left, which only bothered her more.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves, swayed in the breeze, as the sun set along the clear horizon.
3. Because it was raining, the mood in the room fell drastically; everyone glared at each other with suspicion on their minds.
4. Although she never realized the difference, the colors red and green are drastically contrasting.
5. Just not wanting to work was not an acceptable excuse; my manager required a better reason.
By the end of the year I hope to be able to explain and expand my ideas to be much larger in order to create clear and cohesive arguments.
Delete1. She slammed the door and left once she realized no one was listening to her.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves left a cooling shadow over their heads.
3. The flight was canceled because it was raining heavily.
4. Although she never realized the difference between the two of them, it was made remarkably clear after their performances.
5. Her mother required a better reason for her missing school last week.
I hope to polish my spelling by the end of the year so that it is no longer a weak point in my writing.
1. With the argument only getting more and more heated, the young daughter slammed the front door as she left her home for the last time.
ReplyDelete2.The biting autumn winds shook the sickly birch trees and carried their buttery yellow leaves off into the distance, carrying the boy's youth along with it.
3. Because it was raining, a young Brigham could not wait to get out of school and cozy up with a Lord of the Rings book.
4. Although she never realized the difference between affect and effect, she nonetheless ineffectively attempted to affect the lack of emotional effect in her dialogue with the use of these confounding words.
5. The young boy pleaded with his family that going to school was a sufficient justification for going to McDonald's, but his impoverished older brother required a better reason.
The main issue that I seek to improve on in this next quarter is clarity. My writing, especially for our 1st semester final, lacks that small change in focus to not be just barely too vague or too specific to write and effective essay in as short a time as I need to, and I know that if I can dial that aspect in I will be able to make my writing far more impactful.
1. She slammed the door and left the room.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves were a perfect backdrop to a family taking photos together.
3. Kayla played on the porch instead of in the backyard because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference before, Jeremiah was a much better choice than Conrad.
5. My mom required a better reason than I was running late to explain my absence at school.
I often struggle with grammar when it comes to my writing. I want to learn how to write with no errors or maybe just minimal ones.
1. The door slammed left and right
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees amazed me with their buttery, yellow leaves
3. I slept in because it was raining
4. Although she never realized the difference, the reader knew Brian was the better man.
5. Her decision required a better reason since everyone was confused.
1. As her sister continued to yell after her, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. He passed the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves every day before work but had never stopped to admire them.
3. The children were distraught because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, magenta and fuchsia were different colors.
5. She had devised many reasons to excuse her delay, but the coach simply stated that he required a better reason.
I hope to polish my organizational and analytical skills by the end of this year.
As I wrote these, I started to notice a theme by the third sentence, so I did my best to make them a kind of story!:
ReplyDelete1) I watched her eyes swell up with tears as she screamed at me, but before I could even react, she had slammed the door and left.
2) The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves swayed in the wind outside the window next to her door, the cool, grey sky swelling with storm clouds contrasting the foliage's warm and bright hue.
3) Because it was raining outside, I had decided to stay in my room rather than go out of the house, and read next to the windowsill so that I could watch the storm brew.
4) Although she never realized the difference, cumulonimbus clouds were not the same as nimbostratus, despite their obviously different shapes.
5) As I sat next to the window, contemplating the words I would tell her next, I knew that whatever apology I would come up with would have required a better reason than any one I could come up with in that moment.
I forgot to add in the second part of the prompt, but I'm hoping to polish my clarity in writing before the end of the year, and do better to write more clearly and concisely before senior year starts. I am also hoping to be more organized and better with my analysis as well.
DeleteFixing Sentence Fragments
ReplyDelete1. Slammed the door and left.
While she was arguing with her sister, she got overwhelmed with emotions so she slammed the door and left without saying a word.
2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves were amazing to walk by on the way to school every single day of fall.
3. Because it was raining.
Cynthia decided to stay in for the day and read in her cozy bed because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference.
Although she never realized the difference of when to use their and there, she continued to use them incorrectly until someone told her the difference.
5. Required a better reason.
Jocelyn did not want to go to practice because she didn’t feel like it, but her coach required a better reason.
—————————————————————————
Comment on what you are hoping to polish in your writing by the end of this year.
In order to better my writing skills, by the end of this year I hope to polish my clarity and be more concise. I tend to overwrite a lot which affects my word count when doing assessments as well as my clarity since it can be complicated to understand. Therefore, I hope to get better at this when writing.
1. After learning of her pregnancy, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. After his mistake painting, he attempted to hide the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves
3. He left the house because it was raining.
4. It was Jack Frost and not Ellen DeGeneres, although she never realized the difference.
5. He required a better reason for being late
By the end of this year, I plan to polish my transition sentences and coherent analysis of my quotes.
1. Once the mighty heroes were geared with their tools, supplies, and tasty snacks, they slammed the door and left for their adventure.
ReplyDelete2. Linda from the movie Rio (italicized) was reminded of croissants when she looked at the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. Garfield was happy as he looked out the window because it was raining and he knew that Jon would make him lasagna.
4. She accepted his minimal efforts and unfair treatment for her, as love, rather than discontentment and apathy, although she never realized the difference.
5. They required a better reason for their parent's divorce, instead of, "Of course I'm leaving your mother, she hates Harry Potter!"
I plan to polish my vocabulary and to use less repetition in my writing, by the end of this year.
1. Tori was angry, so she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch tree with their buttery yellow leaves gave off a sweet smell in the wind.
3. My friend and I were unable to have our picnic, because it was raining.
4. Although she never realize the difference, my mom used the same toothbrush she used to clean her shoes for the toilet bowl.
5. The principal required a better reason for why the student was skipping class.
I hope to widen my vocabulary and not use the same words repetitively.
1) She was angry, so she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2) On the hill stood the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3) Because it was raining, she opened her umbrella before stepping outside.
4) Although she never realized the difference, groundhogs and beavers were two different kinds of animals.
5) My mom required a better reason for why I arrived home so late.
I hope to be less repetitive in my writing by the end of this year, as well as widen my vocabulary.
1: Because my mom was mad at my brother for what he had said, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2: The Birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves mocked me as I sat sad and lonely at the park.
3: I had the best day at soccer practice because it was raining.
4: Although she never realized the difference, I traded lunch boxes with my sister because I didn't pack mine.
5: My friend said he was sick, but I required a better reason for him not coming to my birthday party.
In my writing this year, I want to strengthen my analytical skills. I feel like I do a good job of analyzing but it can be repetitive and pretty lengthy. I want to shorten my analysis but maintain its strength in supporting my thesis. I also want to work on my topic sentences because I feel that topic sentences are one of the most important pieces of an essay because they outline the body paragraphs but connect to the thesis. If I can get that down, my essays would be stronger and will flow better.
1. While arguing with his father, Mat slammed the door and left to avoid further conflict.
ReplyDelete2. When Sammy was outside admiring the beauty of nature, she noticed the birch trees with buttery yellow leaves in front of her.
3. The Lener children were no longer outside playing because it started to rain.
4. Although she never realized the difference, crocodiles and alligators are different species.
5. Alex required a better reason from his parents than the simple answer, “No”.
What I hope in polishing this year would be my Grammer. I would also, like to expand upon my Vocaulary!
1. In attempt to escape the tension after an argument with her mother, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves danced in unison with the wind grew more violent.
3. The kids came home from the park because it was raining.
4. Although he never realized the difference, he repeatedly bought his girlfriend roses instead of daisies.
5. I was late to work today, but my boss required a better reason for my absence.
Throughout the rest of the year I want to widen my vocabulary and improve the quality of my analysis’s.
1. After realizing I could never make him understand, I slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their yellow buttery leaves always calmed me, there was something I loved so much about this park.
3. He stayed inside because it was raining but this was the weather she would never miss out on, that was one of the signs they would never work out.
4. Although she never realized the difference, her mother heard the words she said but never listened to her.
5. She didn’t understand why I did that, to her it required a better reason but it made perfect sense in my mind.
I hope to improve my vocabulary so that my writing can be of a higher academic register; my writing still feels very casual and too conversational to me.
1. He slammed the door and left without a word of explanation.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves swayed gently in the breeze.
3. She decided to stay indoors because it was raining heavily outside. 4. Although she never realized the difference it made, she continued to follow her routine without questioning its impact.
5. She required a better reason before making her decision.
I would like to polish the structure of my writing, I always struggle to remember and effectively structure my writing correctly
1. She was in a hurry, so she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves become dull in the fall.
3. We did not have tennis practice because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, as she grew older she became more beautiful.
5. The girls missing homework required a better reason.
I would like to improve my vocabulary because I tend to be repetitive in my writing. I would also like to change my punctuation usage because most times I don’t know the right punctuation to use.
Delete1. She ran out and slammed the door behind her, leaving in fury.
ReplyDelete2. The young girl gazed at the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. The bird in the nest could not leave its spot because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, Brittany Murphy and Lili Reinhart are not the same person.
5. The teacher required a better reason for why the students could not go out to recess because of their behaviors during class.
I want to have a much larger vocabulary by the end of this school year, much better than last year. This is so that I can improve both my speaking and writing skills.
She slammed the door and left.
ReplyDeleteThe birch trees looked beautiful with their buttery yellow leaves.
The streets were slippery because it was raining.
Although she never realized the difference before, it was obvious to her now.
He required a better reason.
I hope to make my writing a little more fun to read. I tend to write very black and white and not add much embellishment, but a little embellishment could make my writing more readable and enjoyable.
I actually love that! I think that is my favorite writing goal I have read thus far.
Delete1. In the heat of the argument, Jenna got up, slammed the door, and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves swayed in the sunlight, revealing that autumn was truly here.
3. Because it was raining, we decided a relaxing day on the couch was necessary.
4. Although she never realized the difference, whole milk had been used in her morning coffee.
5. Blaming my alarm clock didn’t work. My boss required a better reason for me being late.
I would like to improve my word choices within my writing skills. I often over-complicate my wording, making it confusing for the reader and affecting the fluidity of my writing.
1. He slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves swayed in the wind.
3. The children played inside because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, as she grew older she became more cynical.
5. Sam required a better reason when I missed cheer.
I hope to improve on punctuation and run on sentences by the end of this year.
1. She could not stand his silence anymore so she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves swayed gently in the soft autumn breeze.
3. The flight was delayed because it was raining.
4. Every day is unique, although she never realized the difference.
5. If she was to skip school she required a better reason than “senioritis.”
I would like to become more concise in my writing. This will especially help me during the exams when I will have a lot of information to convey but not a lot of time to do so.
My friend slammed the door and left.
ReplyDeleteI adored the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
We stayed indoors and played board games because it was raining.
Lauren separated the different colors of fruit loops and ate them separately, although she never realized the difference.
Using sentence fragments in your paper 1 L&L IB exam required a better reason than "I was feeling silly on that day."
By the end of this year, I want to explore multiple themes at a time in my writing and bring forward deeper meanings in my explanations.
1. After repeating herself three times with no response, she slammed the door and left in frustration.
ReplyDelete2. The lady described the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves as she painted a picture of them.
3. We went inside to grab an umbrella because it was raining heavily.
4. Although she never realized the difference, she used the words “their”, “there”, and “they’re” all of the time.
5. Although Bobby claimed that he was late to work because he needed to get gas, his manager required a better reason.
By the end of the year, I hope to have continued strengthening my vocabulary to the best of my abilities. This will help me tie together my ideas more effectively in my writing. Additionally, I hope to work on maintaining a better flow within my writing so that it is easier for my readers to understand and remain engaged.
1. With a loud thud, he slammed the door and left, leaving an echo of his departure.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves, swayed gently in the breeze.
3. Finding shelter, she pulled her coat tighter around herself, because it was raining.
4. Even though she never realized the difference, the frustration in his voice never escaped her notice.
5. Simply wanting to escape the monotony of everyday life wasn't enough; it required a better reason.
By the end of the year I hope to stretch my vocabulary out in order to suit the role of a DP student better. I hope to have a flow in my writing that is able to make sense to the reader without leaving them in question.
1. Sally angrily slammed the door and left the room.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees, with their buttery yellow leaves, made Jack feel at peace.
3. His mom reminded him to get an umbrella because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference between them, she was somehow able to tell the twins apart.
5. Your actions required a better reason to be excused.
By the end of this year, I hope to become better at explaining my ideas in a clear and concise manner. I can do this when I have days to write and revise, however, I struggle with this during timed writing. I hope to find a better strategy when planning my outlines so I can make clearer points, especially since I sometimes find myself adding unnecessary details that rob me of time.
ReplyDelete1. After ending an argument with her brother, she slammed the door and left.
2. The sun was shining on the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. His family had to cancel their picnic because it was raining.
4. She had accidentally ordered the wrong drink, although she never realized the difference.
5. When he was late to work and used traffic as an excuse, his boss required a better reason.
By the end of the year, I hope to make my writing much more in depth. I want to make sure I am explaining my points well and providing a very clear analysis. I can do this by thinking about all of the possible meanings of the quotes or evidence I am providing and how they connect and support my topic.
1. As her frustration grew, Amy slammed the door and left abruptly.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves shimmered in the Autumn sunlight, casting a warm glow over the forest.
3. Amy made a dash for the front door because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, her presence always brought a sense of calm to the room.
5. Amy called her boss saying she was going to be late to work because of traffic, but her boss demanded a better reason.
By the end of the year, I want to strengthen my vocabulary in my writing. I want to make my writing more effective and have a more powerful flow.
She angrily slammed the door and left, her anger evident in her loud steps.
ReplyDeleteThe birch trees, with their buttery yellow leaves, swayed gently in the fall’s autumn breeze.
The fluorescent lights created a rainbow in the sky, because it was raining, casting colorful reflections on the wet pavement.
Although she never realized the difference, her actions spoke volumes greater than the words she had spoken.
She required a better reason before committing to the decision to move to a different state away from her family
I hope to improve my vocabulary so I can expand my word choice selections, as well as working on having a clear analysis on my quotes.
He slammed the door and left. The birch trees with their once buttery yellow leaves, slowly faded. The sky began to somber, as it faded from blue to grey. She grew cold and began to quiver , because it was raining. Sje grew elegaic, as she noticed her once bright happy kind soul, grew dull and despondent. She noticed a change within, as her once happy soul , dimmed. Although she ever realized the difference, she now understood the amount of power her had over her, the amount he dictated her mood, and mimicked the way she saw the world. Now she required a better reason to look for the good in the world, rather depending on him to make her see it .
ReplyDeleteI want to work on the impact my writing has on the reader, I want to incorporate strong language and use imagery to increase my impact on the reader, to vividly display each exponent of my writing.
1. In a fit of anger, the man slammed the door and left the room.
ReplyDelete2. I often stop to admire the birch trees, with their buttery yellow leaves that stand out against the bright blue sky.
3. I was unable to go to the festival yesterday because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, he chose to wear one of her favorite colors every day.
5. The student wanted to explain why he hadn't submitted his homework, and he knew he required a better reason than "my dog ate it."
As we near the end of the year, I would like to work on expanding my vocabulary. I feel as though I am stuck using the same words over and over again for my writing assignments, and I would like to change this moving forward.
1. Although she claimed she wasn't mad, she slammed the door and left abruptly.
ReplyDelete2. I always liked to climb trees, especially the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. Because it was raining, they had to carry umbrellas in their bags.
4. They were two different people, although she never realized the difference.
5. Their request to stay home from school required a better reason.
By the end of this year, I strive to improve my essay analysis. Like many others, I think I struggle with not analyzing my sources enough. Hopefully, by the end of the year, I can identify those mistakes and fix them myself, rather than having points taken off my score.
1. She angrily slammed the door then left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees slowly lost their buttery yellow leaves as it became colder .
3. She went back inside to grab an umbrella because it was raining.
4. Although she never noticed the difference, she realized she bought non-organic vegetables instead of organic vegetables.
5. He claimed he was too tired to go to work, yet his boss required a better reason.
As this school year comes to a close I wish to polish my ability to analyze literary devices throughout my writing for both the Paper 1 and Paper two exams. Additionally I would like to improve my ability to memorize quotes and create stronger connections between Purple Hibiscus and A Thousand Splendid Suns.
1. With a huff she slammed the door and left, moodily marching down the hall.
ReplyDelete2. She inhaled deeply, enjoying the fresh spring scent of the birch trees, with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. She smiled to herself, because it was raining, she'd finally have a chance to curl up by the fire with the book she'd been itching to read ever since she'd first taken it home from the dusty bookstore.
4. Although she'd never realized the difference between the two twins in front of her, she nonchalantly continued as if she had.
5. Margret tried to tell her teacher she needed to leave early to say hi to her friend, but her teacher tiredly replied that she required a better reason.
I'd like to improve my ability to memorize quotes from multiple books this year and be able to draw upon connections in relation to prompts better.
1. Furiously, he slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The little bird landed trustingly on the branches of her home: the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. With no jackets, all they could do was look outside and look at the gloomy temperament, only able to imagine what their day could have been because it was raining.
4. She knew she liked butter more than margarine, although she never realized the difference.
5. For something so grave, she required a better reason.
I wish I had a bit more of an extensive vocabulary and a bit less writer’s block. Trying to find the perfect word to describe something can oftentimes be difficult. I also wish I was able to utilize more types of figurative language more consistently.
1. The door was slammed and left shut.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees glistened in the sunlight, with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. Because it was raining, the whole town stayed inside their homes.
4. Her demeanor began to shift, although she never realized the difference.
5. To approve his plan, the council required a better reason from the general.
I am hoping to improve my writing by finding my own style and making my writing stand out. For a while my writing felt and read like any standard response to various prompts, so my plan is to place more passion behind each sentence and keep a consistent, somewhat unique, form of conveying a point or telling a story.
DeleteGREAT goal. :)
Delete1) Full of anger, he slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2) We shared a drink under the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3) I ran inside because it was raining.
4) She picked the frog instead of the toad, although she never realized the difference
5) His desire to skip practice required a better reason from the coaches.
As we approach the end of the year, I hope to work to improve my vocabulary. I want to really be able to have a wide variety of words to help explain and describe in writing.
-Jaxon Sauls
ReplyDelete1.Furious with her mother for scolding her, the rebellious teenager slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2.The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves, showed a new season, the changing from summer to autumn through nature.
3.She knew that because it was raining, the second she stepped off of the subway and into the city, her pantsuit would be soaked.
4. Although she never realized the difference, Mary was nervous her mother would notice her favorite tea cup was chipped after she played with it carelessly.
5.Claire's mother required a better reason for her permission to go to a concert the night before her final exams.
I am hoping to polish my understanding and breadth of knowledge of literary terms, making sure I can accurately name literary and rhetorical devices. This will help me to score highermarks in the IB papers, especially in anaylzing within criterion B (a criterion I struggle the most with).
1. When waking up, he accidentally slammed the door and left the house, waking his sister up.
ReplyDelete2. Once outside, he looked up at the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves and it reminded him of someone.
3. He had been broken up with the prior night and felt weirdly at peace with the situation only because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference between her brother's relationship with their friend and her own friendship with them-- she still comforted him under the birch trees.
5. Even though his sister had come out to comfort him early in the morning, he felt that explaining himself required a better reason than being broken up with.
I want to get better at connecting sentence fragments to each other to create a clearer message in any text I write. I tried to practice using the sentence fragments and felt as if I was able to create a pretty coherent story. A couple details were forced because of the sentence fragments themselves but I think it all comes together pretty coherently but each sentence is still grammatically correct in its lonesome. I like the idea of practicing this more and it helps me get a little more in touch with my creative side while practicing grammar skills as well.
1.) After a frustrating fight with her daughter, the mom slammed the door and left without saying a word.
ReplyDelete2.) I will never forget the beauty of the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves that occupied the park near my childhood home.
3.) My friends and I were freezing in Disneyland because it was raining while we explored the park.
4.) I surprised my mom with my freshly dyed hair, although she never realized the difference without me pointing it out, I knew she had loved that it made me look more like her.
5.) My teacher rejected my topic for my IA, saying it required a better reason than just personal interest.
With the end of the year coming up shortly, I would like to continue working on elevating my vocabulary and use more meaningful words/less filler words to keep my writing more concise and impactful.
1. When I told my sister she could not wear my shirt, she slammed the door and left my room.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves are the prettiest in the fall.
3. The two girls ran outside immediately because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, it subtly influenced every aspect of her life.
5. I asked my mom to stay home from school because I was tired but she said I required a better reason.
Before the end of this year, I hope to improve my analyses in my essays. I hope to more thoughtfully and carefully word my writing to convey my thesis.
She slammed the door and left all her sorrows in the room.
ReplyDeleteThe birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves helped provide the shade she was looking for.
Because it was raining cats and dogs, no one was able to leave the house.
Although she never realized the difference, the twins were complete opposites.
He required a better reason from his daughter and her late night outing.
I want to be able to clearly communicate what I am thinking in my brain and clearly put it on paper, or tell beautiful stories, and understand why the author made the choice they did.
As I left the argument very angry I slammed the door and left the house to cool off. Walking around the park I noticed the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves start to sway with the wind. I enjoyed the view seeing nature go slow and steady until it started raining. Seeing the weather change my emotions also changed from thunder roaring through the sky I had become very angry. From now becoming very calm like the light wind and now being flushed with sadness as the rain pours down on me. Icontinued to walk back home thinking of the argument she just had with her parents I realized both sides of the story although I never noticed the difference between my reasoning and my parents reason as to why I could not go to my friends house. Getting back inside the house I wanted to ask my parents for a better reasoning as to why I couldn't go. Standing outside the door trying to find the confidence to go back into the room I could over hear their conversation from outside the thin wooden door. As they wrapped up their conversation I want back into my room and played in bed ow understanding why I was not allowed to go to my friend's house.
ReplyDeleteI want to get better at connecting segment fragments I often think I have too many ideas and put to much in my sentence. So when I go back to analyse my work I try to break the sentence apart causing these fragments I wish I never created in the first place.
DeleteI slammed the door and left, wondering how could this happen? why is this happening? Am I dreaming? as I escaped to the rooftop to attempt at relaxing my mind. I notice the Birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves. I wondered how long that would last considering it was the beginning of an outbreak. I began to hear footsteps, loud footsteps. I almost missed it because it was raining, hundreds, no, thousands of the infected became sprinting out of the school and down the streets. I get ready to defend myself from what was to come when I notice this person below that wasn't infected, I looked in horror as I realized she was my best friend, I watched her in curiosity when her boyfriend came running after her. He was infected, although she never realized the difference until it was too late, he was already in reach of her, I ran and ran at an attempt to reach her before he could hurt her, thankfully I made it just in time. She was upset with me and said I required a better reason for executing her love but at least she is safe with me, now we just have to figure out how we're going to get out of this situation, I though as we were surrounded by hundreds and thousands of infected people.
ReplyDeleteI want to get better at elaborating more. I tend to under elaborate which leads to my sentence fragments and a confused reader.
1. After seeing the snake slither into the room, she slammed the door and left the house, providing a momentary safeguard between herself and the creature.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves sparkled in the sunlight.
3. The metal became rusted because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference between life and death, she still recognized the beauty within each.
5. The uncompleted assignment required a better reason than simply saying "my dog ate it".
My goal is to of course expand my vocabulary, but more specifically to use certain transitions more often (such as " ; "). In addition, I hope to become more familiar with figurative language in its various forms.
1. My brother got upset so he slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves danced in the wind.
3. The couple danced because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, she still enjoyed the experience.
5. Her mother required a better reason.
By the end of this year I want to be able to go deeper into my analysis's instead of just describing.
Madison Coates^
Delete
ReplyDelete1. A powerful gust of wind slammed the door and left the boy alone in the rattling silence that followed.
2. She looked up at the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves and could not help but smile at the thought of the coming season.
3. The happy couple realized that their wedding ceremony would have to be moved to the next day because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, her daughter had taken cash from her wallet to see the movie with her friend.
5. In short, the confession of the suspect required a better reason, so the judge deemed him guilty.
As the end of the year approaches, I want to expand my vocabulary and polish the skill of connecting themes, especially across the novels we have read for Paper 2 in my writing.
1. When I found out she was cheating on me, I slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. Looking out the window, I watch the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves decay.
3. My fear of the enormous sounds of thunder grew because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, my mood shifted when I realized she was cheating on me.
5. She pleaded to stay together, claiming she loved me, but I required a better reason.
By the end of this year, I hope to broaden my vocabulary to sound more intellectual and meticulous.
1. As his frustration grew, he slammed the door and left without saying a word.
ReplyDelete2. As Macy climbed to the top of the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves, she fell and broke her ankle.
3. The game was sadly cancelled because it was raining heavily.
4. Although she never realized the difference, she always drank Coca-Cola instead of Pepsi.
5. My mom required a better reason for me not to do the chores that day.
I hope to learn how to get better at the starting steps of an essay as I often have trouble finding where to start and know what to say.
1. Sam slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees, with their buttery yellow leaves, are beautiful in the spring.
3. Mike and John stopped playing because it was raining.
4. Although Juanita never realized the difference between them, Coke and Pepsi are two different sodas.
5. Rex’s justification for being late required a better reason.
I hope to polish my writing to be more analytical and less descriptive always providing accurate context.
1. After the boy was yelled at, he slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. As the wind blew harder, the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves, rustled louder.
3. Because it was raining, everyone decided to suddenly drive much worse.
4. She gladly ate cookie after cookie, even the poisoned ones, although she never realized the difference.
5. He said that he was late due to traffic. His boss, however, required a better reason.
I think the thing I need to accomplish in my writing is to make it less rambly. My writing always feels like it is just words, like the words don’t make sense in the order that I placed them or I am just repeating myself. I think sentence fragments are kind of a thing I struggle with, not in a way where I am only putting fragments in and labeling them as a sentence, rather I am just putting fragment after fragment in a way that is not really logical. Mostly I just want to figure out what I can do to be a better writer and bring my writing into high score ranges.
1. When she realized the time, she slammed the door and left for school.
ReplyDelete2. As I walked down the street I took notice of the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. She was unable to make the drive home because it was raining.
4. The party slowly started to die down, although she never realized the difference in the atmosphere.
5. She told her mom that she would be home late because of practice, but her mom told her she required a better reason.
Before next year I would like to work on my vocabulary and expand it so I can better explain myself and also want to no longer make small grammatical mistakes.
1: In complete terror, she slammed the door and ran away quickly.
ReplyDelete2: In the beauty of fall, one cannot help but admire the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3: Because it was raining, the two friends were unable to attend the baseball game.
4: Although she never realized the difference before, the starry sky looked beautiful without the light pollution in the city.
5: Although Tyler's leg was practically falling off; he knew that he required a better reason to skip English class.
I know I need to work on the fluidity of my writing. When I say this I am referring to my ability to move from one topic to another in my writing.
1. After she heard the strange noise, she slammed the door and hid.
ReplyDelete2. I love going up north because you can smell the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. Easter morning was so much better because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference between the two, she could tell they were different.
5. The murder required a better reason.
I want to polish my organization, spelling, and word choice to better articulate my points when I'm writing.
1. As she responded to her father, she slammed the door and left the house.
ReplyDelete2.The birch tree with their buttery yellow leaves started to change their color, as December started to approach.
3. Because it was raining, I was forced to get a jacket from my closet.
4. Although she never realized the difference between to and too, she quickly came to understand their meaning and how to use them.
5. He attempted to convince his father that he should be lifted from his punishment but his father required a better reason.
A goal I have is to create a HL essay that will pass all expectations from not just me but those that have read my work.
1. In denial, I slammed the door and left in a hurry.
ReplyDelete2. As I walked away from the newly formed wasteland, all I could think of was the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. Because it was raining, I was complaining and it was quite draining.
4. She preferred Coke to Pepsi, although she never realized the difference when she did a blind taste test.
5. He tried to get out of attending the dinner party, but the hosts required a better reason than “I’m busy”.
By the end of the year, I hope to increase my literary vocabulary so that I do not keep using the same words to express my ideas.
1. The anger I felt must have been plastered on my face because my mom slammed the door with a loud thud and left.
ReplyDelete2. I wish I found a place that calmed me as much as the quiet meadow with tall birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. I couldn't make out why I felt the way I did but it might have been because it was raining. The rain always made me feel drowsy.
4. There was a time and place for fun and to be serious, and this was definitely the time to be serious. Although she never realized the difference.
5. I was appalled by the amount of excuses he kept giving me. I required a better reason then "I forgot".
A goal I have is to improve my spelling and overall flow of my writing.
1.After an infuriating conversation about Adam's grades, his mother stood up, slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. Leilani stood in awe as the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves danced across her face.
3. The Easter sunrise service was unfortunately canceled because it was raining.
4. Lily was filled with suprise when she found out her butterflies were from the same species, although she never realized the difference.
5. After turning in his homework exceedingly late due to lack of motivation, his teacher demanded that she required a better reason.
As the year comes to a close, I want to specifically focus on strengthening my analysis and more particularly the wording I use in the analysis.
1. With furious anger behind her eyes, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves gave off the beautiful sent of autumn.
3. They played board games all day because it was raining.
4. Years of rain and snow had slowly deteriorated the old town house; Although she never realized the difference.
5. The manager was furious and required a better reason.
As this year draws to its conclusion I really need to focus on my textual analysis as it will really help me on the exams. If I can get down my points in analysis then I think the rest of the process will be pretty easy sailing (as easy as an IB exam can be :)
Delete1. In a fit of frustration and anger, he slammed the door with a resounding bang, leaving the room abruptly.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees, adorned with their buttery yellow leaves, created a colorful scene that captivated anyone who strolled through the serene forest.
3. Because it was raining, we decided to postpone our outdoor picnic and instead opted for a cozy indoor gathering.
4. Although she never realized the difference that distinguishes one perspective from another, her journey of self-discovery remained persistent.
5. The decision required a better reason, one that could withstand review and provide a solid foundation for the choices we were about to make.
1. When the conversation ended, she shot up from the dining table and slammed the door as she left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves filled the landscape, convincing anyone that they were in a painting.
3. Instead of hosting the party outside, we packed up our things and went inside because it was raining.
4. He explained the vast types of conjugation, she understood, although she never realized the difference.
5. The need to leave school required a better reason than the one given.
Before the end of the year, I hope to fix my analysis skills. I have noticed that my analyzing could be a lot better than it is now, and I should learn better words to describe my thoughts.
1. When my brother got into an argument with me, on his way out of my room, he slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with the buttery yellow leaves can be seen all over the forest.
3. I have to go back inside because it is raining.
4. She had seen both hail and rain in one day, although she never realized the difference.
5. When I stayed up all night, my mom required a better reason than, my clock was off by a little bit.
My goal is to be able to better analyze text and not leave out important details in the analysis part of my writing.
1.After his mother did not allow him to visit his friend's house, Eric slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2.The buttery yellow leaves of the birch tree swayed in welcome of Spring.
3.Sarah cried because of the rain, all her plans were ruined.
4.Jack changed his shirt when he left the room, however she never noticed.
5.When I came home without my backpack, my parents needed a better reason than "I forgot".
My goal is to eliminate repetition from my vocabulary.
1. In a fit of anger, the women got up, slammed the door, and left.
ReplyDelete2. I noticed the approach of a new season by observing the birch trees with their buttery, yellow leaves outside my window.
3. The garden did not need to be watered yesterday because it was raining all day.
4. Although she never realized the difference, her hair had grown lighter over the years.
5. The teacher required a better reason as to why no one completed their homework.
I want to work on providing deeper analysis throughout my body paragraphs and using higher level vocabulary as this year comes to a close.
1. She slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves danced amidst the horizon.
3. I got wet because it was raining.
4. She preferred expensive clothes although she never realized the difference.
5. I required a better reason for the attitude I received.
I want to improve upon the flow of my writing and use higher level vocabulary in order to express my ideas more eloquently.
1. In a fit of pure fury, sorrow, and confusion, she turned, slammed the front door, and left the house, fleeing down the driveway. Neither of the two individuals left in the room were sure if they’d ever see her again as they looked at each other, then away, and began to redress in silence.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees stood strong, with their buttery yellow leaves fluttering like fairy wings to the stone path beneath, the strong autumn wind combing through the branches.
3. He was aware of how he was being perceived, happy on a day like this; however, because it was raining, he couldn’t stop himself from tilting his chin upwards and letting the dewy droplets kiss his skin.
4. Although she never realized the difference, her brother's sins were his own, as hers were her own; though they were twins, they were not the same people.
5. He watched incredulously as she tore through his room, screaming and throwing things. Surely she required a better reason for wreaking havoc and causing him harm other than a simple, “I’m mad, and I’m drunk.”
I hope to be able to fix my punctuation, as I’m aware that I have a bit of a problem with adding unnecessary commas in areas where there shouldn’t be a pause.
1. After being constantly annoyed by her brother, Elsie slammed her brother’s door and left for her room.
ReplyDelete2. Haleigh was excited for spring for which she would see the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. Since it was raining, Ashleyn grabbed a book to read by the window.
4. Although she never realized the difference, Jenna turned in her assignment knowing one of the questions were bound to be incorrect
5. In order to continue organizing her room, Silvia required a better reason to cancel her plans with her friends.
- By the end of the year I hope to polish my communication skills. This is because there always seems to be a problem in how my readers interpret my essays and the concept I attempt to deliver. By improving this skill I do not only improve my grades but also life skills such as negotiation.
1. As David puts down the phone. The sudden news overwhelms the detective as he slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. Lily never understood why her husband was so fixated on the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. After hours of arguing, the crook had a hard time seeing his boss walk away dissatisfied because it was raining.
4. Although Aiden tried explaining the new plan, she never realized the difference.
5. The chief required a better reason for the officer's tardiness.
By the end of the year, I hope to improve my grammer as i move on to college soon.
I tried making mine into a lil story!
ReplyDelete1. Her hand hovered on the handle as she dwelled on her decision. Part of her wanted to take it all back, but she slammed the door and left.
2. He was in the back of her mind as she watched the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. The memories came rushing back because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, her stomach sometimes begged for food while at other times it punched her gut with butterflies,
5. Perhaps her choices required a better reason.
This year I want to work on improving my writing process. My ideas overwhelm me sometimes, making me feel behind in the writing process. I need to work on outlining and gathering quotes (especially for paper 2!).
Love the story idea!!
Delete1. Full of anger, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2. The picnic took place next to the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3. She couldn't leave the house because it was raining.
4. Affect and effect were to be used in different scenarios although she never realized the difference.
5. Convincing his mother to go out on a school night required a better reason.
By the end of the year, I hope to improve my analysis and organization as well as integrate quotes in a more natural sounding manner.
1- Upon getting into a intense fight with her mother, She slammed the front door to her house, and peeled out the driveway as fast as her vintage Volkswagen beetle would allow her
ReplyDelete2- on my walk home, I took a detour to appreciate the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3- Because it was raining, My mother insisted on making home made tomato soup for supper. She always said, if there was any food to match the ambience of a rainy, gloomy day, it would be soup.
4- Athough she never realized the difference, his actions spoke different than his words.
5- Growing up my mother always required a better reason when I would tell her my reasoning for why I wanted to quit dance. she was impecably stubborn.
With the end of the year coming close, I want to develop my wording and phrasing better.
1- The argument was growing, the shouts were louder and anxiety was flooding her head. She felt an urgent desire to escape, so, after one last loud insult, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2- He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His mind was transported to the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves that surrounded his childhood home, where so many happy memories were created.
3- Everyone ran to take shelter because it was raining, however, she continued walking down the now clear street, letting the drops of water slide down her face, that mixed with her tears.
4- He tried to explain to her a thousand times that couples sometimes broke up, not because they didn't love each other, but because they didn't want to be together, although she never realized the difference.
5- For her, ending a two-year relationship required a better reason than the distance.
By the end of this year, I will improve the fluency of my writing, as well as expand my vocabulary to be able to write in a precise and concise manner in order to make my essays more assertive.
1 - Upset with the answer she was given by her father, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2 - She sat under the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves as she read her favourite book.
3 - Although the stress of her work had dragged her down, she still felt as though it was a good day because it was raining.
4 - Dating for love and dating out of love are two different things, although she never realized the difference.
5 - To her, however, hanging out with him required a better reason than having the time to do so.
This year I wish to improve my analytical skills. I tend to mix analyzing with describing, especially since some meanings are so obvious that I feel a simple description of something should have the same impact as analyzing it.
1) The voyager slammed the witches' door and left, determined to find the truth in something more substantial than chants and silly potions.
ReplyDelete2) The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves glimmered in the sun as Anne Shirley named the country-stead 'Amber Birch Orchard'.
3) I nestled under my disgustingly-fluffy blanket and sighed in contentment; because it was raining outside I could spend the entire day reading and I had quite the assortment already picked out.
4) Although she had previously never realized the difference, a name, whether it simply be a surname or a title of universal status, could hold a strange sort of power over any one if only they take a moment to stop and listen.
5) The world has been quickly progressing, many young people no longer simply accept their fate for what it is and have declared that they require a better reason- although many believe there is none- for why there cannot be universal change and rights.
I need to connect/analyze the author's purpose with how that affects the audience in my essays. I oftentimes have paragraphs that become so long that taking the extra sentence or two seems unwise, although I know that it can provide worthwhile insight into why a piece of literature is formatted in that particular way.
1) After the incident, the teenager slammed the front door on his way out and left home for good.
ReplyDelete2) The knight slayed the dragon then returned to his home among the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
3) Because it was raining, the little girl could not leave the house to play outside.
4) Athough the queen never realized the difference, her servants Dave and David were infact slighlty shorter than most people within the kingdom.
5) Most teachers require a better reason for a student's absence than "I was tired".
By the end of this year, I hope to polish my ability to analyze quotes along with increasing how fast I can write essays.
(THIS BLOG POST IS FROM ANDREW RANGEL)
Frustrated and angry, he slammed the door behind him, the reverberating echo signaling his departure from the argument-filled room.As I walked through the forest, my eyes were drawn to the graceful birch trees with their slender trunks and delicate branches adorned with buttery yellow leaves, their hues shimmering in the gentle sunlight filtering through the canopy above.We decided to cancel our plans for the outdoor picnic because it was raining heavily outside, the relentless downpour drumming against the windowpanes, rendering any outdoor activity impractical and dampening our spirits.Despite the subtle nuances in her behavior, she never realized the profound difference it made in the lives of those around her, the impact of her actions often going unnoticed or dismissed, much to the dismay of those who cared deeply for her.The committee members deliberated extensively, acknowledging that the proposal on the table required a better reason to warrant their approval, as the stakes were high and the implications far-reaching, demanding a more compelling justification for their endorsement.
ReplyDelete1. Frustrated and angry, he slammed the door behind him, the reverberating echo signaling his departure from the argument-filled room.
ReplyDelete2. As I walked through the forest, my eyes were drawn to the graceful birch trees with their slender trunks and delicate branches adorned with buttery yellow leaves, their hues shimmering in the gentle sunlight filtering through the canopy above.
3. We decided to cancel our plans for the outdoor picnic because it was raining heavily outside, the relentless downpour drumming against the windowpanes, rendering any outdoor activity impractical and dampening our spirits.
4. Despite the subtle nuances in her behavior, she never realized the profound difference it made in the lives of those around her, the impact of her actions often going unnoticed or dismissed, much to the dismay of those who cared deeply for her.
5. The committee members deliberated extensively, acknowledging that the proposal on the table required a better reason to warrant their approval, as the stakes were high and the implications far-reaching, demanding a more compelling justification for their endorsement.
1. Frustrated with the argument, she slammed the door and left, the sound echoing through the empty hallway.
ReplyDelete2. The birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves stood out against the backdrop of the dark, stormy sky.
3. She decided to cancel the picnic because it was raining, opting for a cozy indoor gathering instead.
4. Despite her efforts, she never realized the difference her small acts of kindness made in others' lives.
5. Explaining the situation required a better reason than just saying she didn't feel like going.
1. Upset and irritated, she slammed the door and left, her anger evident in the echoing sound.
ReplyDelete2. The Birch trees with their butter yellow leaves began to shrivel as the seasons grew colder.
3. She had to postpone her plans because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, her presence caused a great impact on everyone's disposition when she was around.
5. Her anger required a better reason.
She was so scared of the animals, she slammed the door and left the shelter.
ReplyDeleteMy mother had always admired the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
I had to run back inside because it was raining.
I cleaned my sisters messy room, although she never realized the difference.
I told my teacher I didn't turn in my work because I was sleeping, but she required a better reason.
I hope to expand my vocabulary so I can better describe things when I'm analyzing.
1. Slammed the door and left, leaving behind a heavy silence in the room.
ReplyDelete2. The birch tree with their buttery yellow leaves swayed gently in the breeze, casting shadows on the ground below.
3. Because it was raining, they decided to postpone the picnic until the weather cleared up.
4. Although she never realized the difference, her small acts of kindness made a huge impact on those around her.
5. I required a better reason to just give up on the things that I love.
1- I was so angry at him, I slammed the door and left.
ReplyDelete2- The birch trees evoke a sense of longing with their buttery yellow leaves.
3- Many people did not show up that day because it was raining.
4- Although she never realized the difference, she always put salt and pepper on her egg.
5- My mother required a better reason as to why my brother did not do his chores.
The thing I hope to polish in my writing is my analysis. I often get docked points in analysis not going deep enough. I am going to practice analyzing and going deeper so that by testing day, I am prepared to get the most points I can.
Frustrated at his inability to understand her, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDeleteAs I walked along the park, I couldn't help but notice the birch trees with their buttery bright yellow leaves.
My dog hurriedly rushed inside because it was raining.
The teacher carefully corrected her essay, although she never realized the difference between than and then.
When caught cheating, the group tried to defend themselves, but to avoid expulsion they required a better reason.
Upset with the idea of having to go, she slammed the door and left.
ReplyDeleteTo calm my nerves, I stare at the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves.
Many were afraid to go down the hill because it was raining.
Although she never realized the difference, she always made sure to be kind to others.
I required a better reason as to why I was late to class.
What I want to polish most within my writing is my structure, I still struggle in knowing when to put the right words or how to. I hope to push through this obstacle and better myself. It would be great for my confidence in writing. -Lucien DeSantiago
1. She had slammed the door during her rush to make it to school on time. The girl had an important test that day.
ReplyDelete2. She thought the birch trees she saw a long the way to school were beautiful, with their buttery yellow leaves and all. It's too bad she had more important things to focus on at the moment.
3. Once she snapped back into the classroom, she struggled on her math exam because it was raining so heavily outside.
4. Although she never realized the difference between the two, she was confident in her ability to pass her multiplication and division test by cheating. You think she'd figure it out by high school, but alas not.
5. The teacher required a better reason than "I failed the fourth grade cmon pleasee" if he was going to let her pass the test after catching her in the act of checking under her water bottle for answers.
The fighting got too loud in the living room, so she a lammed the door and left.
ReplyDeleteThe birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves are my favorite part of the forest.
Because it was raining, my new shirt was soaked.
Although she never realized the difference, her hair started to grow longer than she wanted.
If you are going out so late, you are required a better reason for me to let you leave.
1. She slammed the door and left, in an angry manner.
ReplyDelete2. I was blown away by the beauty of the birch trees and their buttery yellow leaves.
3. We ran inside because it was raining.
4. Although she never realized the difference, one shoe was red and the other was blue.
5. Mrs.Caraway required a better reason as to why I would use a sentence fragment in essay.
I would like to polish my writing by aiming for clarity and expressing ideas clearly and concisely. I will strive to organize my thoughts logically, check for grammar and punctuation errors, support my claims with evidence from the texts, and engage my reader with vivid language.
1. The two girls had argued for over 2 hours, until eventually Ruth had slammed the door and left Grace alone in her room.
ReplyDelete2. My mother had always loved the birch trees with their buttery yellow leaves as it was her favorite part about the changing of seasons.
3. She was not happy to drive home from work. She knew traffic would be backed up because it was raining for almost the whole work day.
4. Although she never realized the difference, Ava had finally distinguished the different qualities between having a brother or a sister.
5. The dean awaited the student's response. She insisted that she would not release the student from the office as she required a better reason for ditching class
As the school year has coem to a close, one thing i would like to grow form and apply to my years at college are to stay better organized and to learn when paragraphs should be lengthened as well as simplified.