It's nothing personal.
People say that to you when you are upset by something that was done or said to you...something that mattered. Something you cared about. Whether you lost an opportunity, or someone treated you unfairly, these are the three words that are often offered to us to "make it better:"
It's nothing personal.
Have you been told that before? Does it work for you?
Let's hold that thought for a moment while we go on to something unrelated...The SAT's.
There's a section on the SAT's that I remember quite well. It's the analogies. It goes like this:
Peanut Butter : Jelly :: ??
Then you choose from four choices which analogy is equivalent. It is, in a way, a sort of marriage between math and language.
They start out easy, and then become gradually more impossible, but still, I LOVED practicing these questions and trying to reason them out.
Why am I talking about this? Well, reading through The Book Thief and experiencing the beauty of Zusak's language, I realize how important writing is to me and to many others out there, I am sure. We are, as humans, always seeking to express ourselves and connect to others, and writing offers both opportunities in one stroke of the pen or a few taps on a keyboard.
So...to better illustrate SAT style....
writing: Mrs. Caraway :: running: track athlete :: dancing: dancer :: painting : artist
All of these are ways to express ourselves, and in many ways, connect with others. They enable us to express and release emotions and frustrations, whether those emotions be positive (joy, peace) or negative (pain, anger) and give us a chance to tell the world "I am here. I have a voice."
We got to identify words that spoke to us as we looked through a list of 51 Quotes last blog entry, so now let's speak out. Take something that has made you feel strongly: an experience, the words of someone else, an event, a tragedy, a challenge, ANYTHING. Then, express yourself in poetry, allegory, an image you find that speaks to you, an image you create and can somehow share here with us, a link to a short video or clip you find or created that speaks for you (appropriate, please), etc. Then share it with us.
I am sharing something I wrote several years ago when I was feeling pretty down on the world and people, in general. People can be thoughtless and inconsiderate. They can, quite frankly, be downright cruel. I was already discouraged by some people in my life, and then I happen to hear the phrase, "You can't let it bother you. It's nothing personal." I think I had an inner snap, and it made me write this down...
I cannot watch the news too often because I take what happens in the world very personally. I hurt when I see people's lives ripped apart by an act of nature or an evil regime. I feel sick when I see what some young and innocent children have to go through in their lives because of the selfishness and cruelty of others. I am offended that people don't take these things personally, quite frankly, and while I have come to realize that the individual who gave me the advice to "not take things personally" meant well, and was right about not letting things KEEP me down, I struggle to this day with the phrase "It's nothing personal."
Maybe it's because I am the so-called artsy type; too emotional or sensitive. Maybe I feel too much and too deeply. But you know what? Good. I'm grateful for that. To have a big heart to me is definitely better than the cold alternative.
Would love to hear your thoughts on my expression/frustration--this snapshot in time--and I am excited to read and offer feedback on yours, too!
So...in the spirit of those fun analogies, may your expressions be to you like sweet freedom is to the long-held captive....a great and joyful relief!
We hurt each other with words and plots of financial destruction
We discourage, betray and disregard one another.
What we call "love" is fleeting; disposable- temporary.
We use each other, feigning friendship until our goals are reached and treasures are made.
Then, we politely dismiss one another with the words, "It's nothing personal."
I find it sadly humorous that we convince ourselves these words are true:
"it's nothing personal."
After we break a heart, destroy a trust, ruin a valued relationship, and dismiss it all
with this blatant lie.
What is life if not personal?
Anytime we enter the world of another, it is personal.
When we acknowledge their existence, engage in discourse, exhange pleasantries or vows,
it becomes, above all else, personal.
It is always personal, first and foremost. If nothing else, life, itself is personal.
When we deny this, we lie to ourselves.
John Donne wrote, "No man is an island....any earth that is diminshed diminishes me."
When we destroy each other with a blow that is "nothing personal,"
we are getting very personal with our souls.
Slowly, it cuts away at our own lives.
This is the great irony that has cut away the very fabric of our society.
It is a line that separates us and makes us enemies: fathers and daughters,
mothers and sons, friends and lovers....we can never get close.
Too many times we have heard the lie or spoken it to ourselves.
A bittersweet assurance that whatever did go wrong, wasn't our fault.
It was nothing personal.
We protest wars, shake our fist at crime, and cry out at violence-
but what do we expect?
It is an existence of our own creation-
One where "nothing is personal" anymore....
