Monday, October 26, 2015

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS...

"I think that's probably why we prefer the lies, Miss Remington," Mick continued, "and we do, don't
we?  Everyone says they want the truth, but secretly they just want to find some reassurance for the lies because they are always so much more beautiful."  He moved in closer to her yet again, like a moth to the flame, "And they sure smell a hell of a lot sweeter..."  His touch was so intimate, she knew it was meant to set her off balance, and it did.  "So tell me the lie, again, Miss Remington," his voice was now just above a whisper, interrupting the whirl of confusing thoughts and desires that were making her dizzy.  "Look at me now and tell me that you love me...just one more time..." (Caraway, Palooka)


George Washington couldn't tell one.  Pinocchio's nose grew each time he did.  There are white ones, and scarlet ones; little ones and big whoppers, and, as Mick O'Shaughnessy describes in the above quote, sweet ones that we choose to believe.

Lies.  We write songs about them.  We punish them.  We sigh in relief when we manage to tell one without getting caught.  Another day to save face.  Another day to keep our mask in place.  For the criminal, they are a mainstay.  For those with a conscience, they are the things that torture and haunt us.  They are everywhere--a part of our world and who we are.  Much as we try to escape being told one or being known as one who does, they are a part of every culture on the planet and they infect us from our earliest moments of communication.

Why do we lie?  There are as many reasons as there are scenarios.  We don't want to get caught.  We want to keep up our perfect image.  We want revenge.  We want to protect ourselves.  We want power and political gain.

What can we say?  Mick has a point... the easy to swallow lie is more appealing than the
ugly truth, time and time again.

When it comes to our world leaders and politicians, we have come to expect the lies--in all shapes and sizes, with all degrees of consequences.  Many voters say they go to the polls merely to choose the lesser of two evils; we choose our leaders based on their degrees of lying.  After all, we dare not expect that our leaders would completely refrain from it--that they would ever be stupid enough to choose integrity over self-preservation.

That, alone begs the question:  How did we get to a place where we are willing to put our trust and hope in our most powerful figures without expecting truth from them in return?  How did we get this far?  Adolf Hitler once said, "If you tell a big enough lie, and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed."  Is that it then?  We just commit to the lies wholeheartedly until they become our new definition of "truth?"

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "Every violation of truth is not only a sort of suicide in the liar, but a stab at the health of human society."  If Emerson is right, I wonder:  what is the state of society's health today?

This course is a study in communication, and unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your position) lying is a part of communication in just about every realm of society.  Perhaps it is naive not to expect to be lied to--even by the brightest and best--but is it wrong to yearn for truth, no matter what the cost?  Is it wrong to believe that there is true freedom to be found in it?

Maybe Mick is wrong.  Yes, I know, I wrote him, he is my character, but maybe he is.  The truth may hurt sometimes, but is it possible that over time, the lies hurt a whole lot more?  What is the cost in the end?

Below, is a link to a blog that explores the cultural tradition of lying.  Read it carefully, then I would love to hear your thoughts...

Honestly.

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/are-we-all-little-liars/

My favorite song of all time about honesty (and was playing as I wrote this for inspiration)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuFScoO4tb0

79 comments:

  1. This blog post truly made me think and consider my everyday actions and choices. Are we living in a 'complete farce'? I can relate the post because I know personally that I will lie to a loved one if it will protect them, but I wouldn't want someone to do the same. I want to know everything...but do I really? From reading this I realize that I have been lying all my life and this amazes me because it is instinctual! One of my first reactions is to lie! This articles make me want to instill more honest characteristics. Yes, as I have grown up opinions and morals have been developed, but they are still easily persuaded. What kind of lies to I believe today on a daily bases?

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  2. "I know personally that I will lie to a loved one if it will protect them, but I wouldn't want someone to do the same." WOW. This really resonated with me because it is also true for me, even if once I know a truth, I am broken or shattered. I have found in life that lies only hold for awhile. Eventually, some of the truth will leak out, and then it can be worse to find out! Trust is lost, situations become worse, and you realize that during that lost time, you could have been moving forward in your life outside of the lie. I have also found that usually one lie is not enough, which is where we get the expressions "web of lies." It's human nature, yes, but we can work to change. :) Great response!

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  3. This blog post has really provoked my thoughts, and makes me think about why we lie so much. I feel like we lie to make us feel better sometimes or have others feel better in order to pleasure ourselves and pleasure those around us. I do believe that lying has become socially acceptable in today's society, especially since these big figures in the public eye lie to us constantly. If public figures in the media and press are continually lying, as if it has becoming a natural instinct. When they are shown lying society believes it's okay to lie and lying in today's public has become a social norm. A few harmless lies will not kill you, but when those harmless lies become bigger harming not only others but our minds and the way we take things in.

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    1. It is discouraging that so many people in the public view lie so easily and regularly. But I am really glad this post provoked your thoughts. I also love your point that lying hurts our own minds, too!

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  4. I constantly saw the article trying to find reasons for lying and it mentioned that it is just who we are; it isn't something to be taught, but why do we automatically lie. We automatically go to lie because of the fall of man, because of the sin in the world and our sinful nature as humans. But from that point, when we are young it seems that we lie in order to keep our perfect image and that is true when we become adults, but in adulthood it seems that we lie in order to save other people from hurt from the actions we have taken. For example, when Bill Clinton cheats on his wife, he is going to lie because he is trying to make himself seem to have a perfect appearance, but also so he doesn't hurt his wife from the actions he has taken. A lot of people use the quote, “Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie.”, but I don't know if people really follow that and believe that because when someone is told the truth a lot of people don't want to hear it and would rather hear a lie. It is not impossible to lie, but it is hard to kill a habit that we have made part of DNA.

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    1. I agree with you in that it is part of our nature. That doesn't mean we cannot constantly strive to rise above it. :) I like how you talked about what lying is for throughout different periods in our lives. So true!

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  5. In our hearts we all know that lying is wrong. I like how this article explained what the real meaning behind the lies we tell are. Personally, I relate to the woman who wrote the article and I believe someone when they tell me something, unless it is completely obscure. There is always a reason that lies are told, whether it is to shield someone from the truth for the other persons sake or their own. Some people lie so much that they can't even tell the truth. Like in the article 'where is the line?' Naturally we 'lie' to make something sound better than it actually was to sound more interesting than the next person. I'm not saying that lying is okay, it's just something you can't run away from. And if people told the truth more often, maybe our society would be a better place to be apart of, because there wouldn't be this lie about body image and how certain people are supposed to look or act. In the end we are all human and make mistakes, but I think this article has helped me realize that if I want honesty with others, I have to be honest with myself.

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    1. I love your reflection here. I also have tended to err on the side of believing people in life. Even though it has left me disappointed, I still would not want to change. Trust is very important and precious to me. That said, when someone loses my trust, it's hard to get it back.
      I love your last comment. We should always be, at the very least, honest with ourselves.

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  6. This blog post opened my eyes to how acceptable we have made the most vague lies in our everyday lives. "It was great meeting you, too!" *Eye roll* I agree with the author that lying is ingrained. It is a natural instinct, defensive mechanism, or response.
    What I have learned from my life and experiences thus far, it is that no lie ever stays covered up forever. The truth is indeed very powerful. I have seen lies destroy friendships, careers, marriages, relationships, personal connections, even people themselves. I agree very strongly with the article when it talks about the damage. When a person lies, and the truth comes to be revealed, it can be very damaging of their image, or how they are perceived. The pain you can cause another person from lying to them could be unbearable, and the damage unreversable.
    When I think about the quote, "hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie", I have to think about if the concept of this quote stands true for me, personally. Like Hannah, if I could, I'd like to know everything. For feelings of protection, reassurance, or to not feel like I am being manipulated. But, I always have internal battles with myself when I feel doubtful about a situation, know the possible truth, and avoid it to avoid feeling hurt. So I guess it depends on the situation.

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    1. Yes--the damage of lies can be devastating. Just watching the news lately we have seen that. It can go so far as to cost lives. It is not worth it to lie. You lose people's trust. There are ways to be honest and kind, or honest and genuine. I would rather be honest and ask for forgiveness than lie and rest on false laurels.

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  7. I feel like in this post there are so many different views about truth and lies that the true (no pun intended) meaning of either is lost. I know I personally value honesty over anything. I would rather you cut me with your words, and I know where I stand, rather than feeling secure in a lie. However, I've spent most of my life trying to be less blunt, and sometimes that means I have to use lies of omission.
    In the end I believe there is no merit to lying, not only because it is wrong, but also because when found out, lies cause more damage than the truth ever would.

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  8. I am not sure I understand what you mean by "so many different views about truth and lies that the true meaning of either is lost?" I am sorry if I lost you. My point in my blog message was that often times when people claim to want the truth, they are sorry once they get it. Then there are others who really would rather be lied to as long as the lie is more pleasant than the truth.

    I always value a person's feelings and well being, so for me, it is hard to confront them, or to be too blunt, but I have learned that there is a way to communicate honestly without being blunt or hurtful. It merely takes effort and empathy.

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  9. There is nothing I hate more in the world than being lied to. Unfortunately we don’t live in a perfect world and that’s just something I’ll have to face my entire life. While reading this article I thought about my personal habits and how often I lie. Of course this blog post is about lying so I’m sure you won’t believe me when I say I rarely lie, I’m not saying I don’t but I try not to. I’ve recently gone through a more emotional and difficult time in my life. A person I trusted with my life proved to not be the knight in shining armor that I thought they were. Going from knowing someone like the back of your hand to not being able to recognize them at all is scary. I never want another person to feel like I did so I try to not practice lying as often as they did with me. Maybe it’s different for me because growing up I went through a lot of things such as my parents getting divorced and my cousin being killed. I saw the truth and chose to accept it, and try to practice it. Now I’m not saying the truth can’t be more hurtful than a lie but you can’t run from things. Eventually you’re gonna have to own up to what you’ve said and if you aren’t willing to face to consequences than you shouldn’t lie in the first place. It’s just such a waste of time, can we please all just be honest.

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  10. This post has really made me think about the fact that it is true, people lie everyday and all the time! Whether to protect someone else or myself from a messy situation lying is something I know I personally do automatically. To think that lying is something not taught to us but we know how to do from a young age is crazy. It is as though it is an instinct we do such as feelings or reactions. We all have them and we all do these things whether good or bad, just like lying. When you, Mrs. Caraway, had wrote "The truth may hurt sometimes, but is it possible that over time, the lies hurt a whole lot more?" Personally I would tell a lie to keep someone's feelings to be hurt because I hate seeing someone I know in pain. But what if that is true overtime once that person finds out the truth of the matter they can be hurt even more than if they had known the truth at the beginning. I see in TV shows all the time when someone tells a lie to a friend or loved one and they figure out what really happened they are always hurt. But not just hurt from the fact that they were told a lie but that the person who lied had felt in some way they couldn't tell the truth creating a riff in that relationship. So if telling the truth and a lie both hurt others why don't we take the one with less baggage, the one that can be resolved easier? I feel that this falls on the fact of taking responsibilities for our own action which is difficult for people to admit being wrong because in my opinion being wrong is a hard thing to admit to others about.

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  11. this post really opened my mind about how much everyone really does lie. although i hate being lied to, lying happens all the time even in the smallest ways. Everyone does it, you cant deny it. Its so hard to take in consideration of the damage lying can do to yourself or others when you are caught up in the moment. It’s crazy to think that lying comes so effortless to almost everyone when you can benefit from the outcome, whether it be getting ahead or hiding a secret. I know that the majority of people know lying is wrong, but sometimes it’s hard to pass up an opportunity. I’m not trying to defend lying, im only saying I can under why. The pain lying can cause or another person can be unbearable and I’ve always loved the quote “hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie”. I really enjoyed this blog post and it really opened my eyes on lying and its effects.

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  12. Reading this article I took a few moments to think about the little lies I the big ones and how they affected me as a person. I was really intrigued by the movie that was described in the beginning of the article. A place where everyone is honest we become less sensitive to the truth. I really believe that would be the case. A lot of times we are afraid to either hear the truth or tell it because it is always hurting someones feelings but if we didn't ever cover up the truth it may not be as hard to accept.
    I have also had experiences like in the article, lying about where I was and the consequences were not fun either. In these cases the truth is better for our saftey. If I had listened to my mom and only gone to the pool I wouldn't have gotten in a car accident. If I hadn't lied about how it happened I wouldn't have lost an entire summer to work or been out $1000 but I did lie and those things did happen.
    I try to be honest. I don't like to be rude but I do tell people how I feel and what I think. Sometimes I wish friends and boys would be more honest in how they feel because that would save me time.
    I appreciate being reminded once in a while. It keeps me aware. I could tell many stories (probably too many) about lies but like it was mentioned in the article, it is almost human nature and only we as individuals can change it.

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  13. I really hate it when I am lied to. I always feel paranoid about whether or not people are telling the truth to me because there is always the possibility that it could all just be a lie. Because of this I have a very hard time believing people unless I've known them for a while because people can just throw lies at each other without even thinking about it. I thought it was interesting that the article mentioned that not telling the truth and just not saying anything at all could also be considered lying. I really thought about myself when I read that because there have been a lot of times when I just don't say anything and it made me think how I could be considered a liar just because I'm a quiet person and choose not to say anything. It is a really interesting concept to me.

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  14. I liked the quote from the blog “Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie”. I found this to be really true. I would rather just hear the truth. No matter how bad it might be. When someone lies that is an example of betrayal. The trust will be lost. It scares me that lying can become a common thing in our everyday lives. Even with just the smallest lie it can become a bigger lie that will not be avoidable. I have heard and been told honesty is the best policy or how the article stated it "Integrity will never deceive you". Sometimes people will get hurt with the truth, but it is best if the truth is said, because if a lie is said instead of the truth they might eventually find out and be even more hurt that you lied to them.

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  15. Lying doesn't bother me much, if at all. It's because I understand that it's something that will ALWAYS happen and something every person does, or has done. There is nothing anyone can do or say to change that. I know I have, however the major things I just tell the truth about, because it makes sense that in that moment the truth is easier than the lie, but small petty things like did you tell him/her this/that if I did or didn't do it then I will probably lie if it is m favor. That is just how people work. Of course knowing this I have little to no trust in people, unless earned, but that is NOT a bad thing in my opinion. I can learn to trust in what people say or do, but in human beings as a whole can't be trusted on a regular basis, unless a relationship is established and trust is earned, and respected in that relationship.

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  16. Our society has been modified and molded over the years to conform to our cultures and physiological desires. Mostly everyone would rather hear good news over bad news even if it might not be true. We live in a world that is full of lies and false truth and we are usually totally oblivious to it but sometimes we aren’t yet we still don’t think against it or do anything about it. Advertising is full of lies and false imagery but we still believe we can achieve this perfection that is, in reality, unobtainable. Most of this didn’t surprise me, especially the part about our emotions or feelings getting in the way. We tell lies and are told lies on a daily basis and this is all done to preserve emotion and our feelings. Lies can sometimes even be better than telling the truth.

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  17. This concept is interesting to ponder, because we all know lying is wrong, but it is impossible to stop doing it. I want to watch the movie the blog was talking about to see their interpretation of a world without deception and dishonesty. It’s hard to imagine because we have never been accustomed to it. It is an innate trait to begin with, because the blog mentioned that we’ve been lying since we first started communicating, but throughout time we can improve on telling the truth through experience and moral values we’ve been taught. I agree that some lies are a whole lot worse than others, but technically a lie is still a lie, and it is wrong whether it’s a huge lie or a small, white lie. In the end, both will have consequences that are worse than those of telling the truth. I, personally, am trying to improve my honesty, not only because it is morally the right thing to do, but also because I hate telling lies to begin with.

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  18. I lie a lot i terms of being okay. I don't like people worrying about me a lot so i usually tell them i'm fine to get them off my back. However, I cant't find myself lying for personal gain like that. I'm a big perfectionist about some things and i always find a way to dig up the flaws that i have or others have. It's also a down fall for me because i can be too honest. It sucks either way it seems, whether you lie or not, because you can tell the truth and hurt the person or tell a lie and hurt later. It's almost like a trap. Also it was interesting they made a movie about this. I don't think a lot of people would be able to live without the lives that have built up their lives..

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  19. Good song! I love Billy Joel.

    I truly believe some lies are good. When I lie about how nice it was to meet someone, I don't want to purposely offend someone (unless they were jerks) and bring down their self-esteem. When I tell someone I'm fine, even though I'm not, it just means that they don't need to know how I really feel and I don't want to tell them. Sometimes, I lie because people are badgering me for an answer I already told them I wouldn't give. I know a lot of people though that get offended when I tell the truth so it can be easier to lie then too. But, if lies will be harmful in the long run then I believe it's best to just tell the truth. It's hard though, for me. I learned early on that telling the truth got me punished most of the time and it wasn't rewarded. I'm slowly unlearning that lesson and instead choosing to tell people that I don't want to give them an answer instead of lying about it.

    I'm a bit of a pessimistic. As nice as it would be to live in a world where everyone is morally obligated to tell the truth, I just don't believe it would ever happen. I don't have enough faith in humanity to even think it would be a possibility. Maybe instead, if everyone decided to not care so much about what other people think or do, we could all stop telling lies. I honestly doubt it, but to each their own.

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  20. Personally I thought this article and blog were very interesting. Lying has become such a natural, common occurrence for humans that many just shrug it off. I like how the article says why we lie and how it affects us. I also think there is varying degrees of a lie. There are lies that don't hurt anyone and are just for personal reasons of the person telling the lie, but there are also lies that tear people apart. I have stopped liking people or talking to them because I can't trust anything they say. I also thought it was funny when you brought up politics. It seems people support the candidate who lies more because they see the honest candidate as harsh or ignorant. People like to support a president who tells them everything is going to be OK when its not. Overall an interesting article because it connects with our everyday lives!

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  21. We live in a world where lying has become a daily routine for many people. We are surrounded by fake advertisement, lying about body images and many other things, politicians constantly lie just to say what the others want to hear, people lie to each other because they are afraid of hurting one another, and the one I detest the most is when people go out of their way to lie such as, "oh I like your shirt".

    While reading the article I started to self reflect, thinking about whenever I lie. That is honestly something I don't do constantly and when I do I feel very guilty.
    I love when she says "Recovering from a betrayal can be painful and prove difficult. The action behind the intended lie is usually far less damaging than the lie itself. Our character shines through in the choices we make. The decision to tell the truth shows courage and strength in character, accepting the responsibility of whatever the consequences may be."

    I love this because lying can be very easy for many, but it is hard sometimes to confess that you have lied especially when you have hurt someone and have seen them go through the pain. Especially in relationships, marriages, families, friendships and even to yourself.

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  22. Honesty has always been a huge issue and blessing in my life. Yes, it's been an issue; a burden even at times. The first thing that comes to mind is this golf season. Golf is the easiest sport to lie in because you don't have anyone confirming your score, just you. Most the girls I played with were truthful about their score. But, every once in a while, I would get a girl who would play the "I wasn't really keeping count of my shots, so I'll just say 3 under par" card. Really? It was SO frustrating. Especially when I made it a priority above winning to always be truthful. It was even harder on me because I usually let it go because I didn't want to deal with the confrontation ( I know, I know. Stand for truth!). Anyways, it's tempting to lie when you know everyone around you is lying. Perhaps, it's sort of a domino effect. Once those around you start lying, you figure "well everyone else is doing it...". That's usually the case with other things.

    I totally agree with the article when it said that one reason we may lie is because of how we were brought up. Fortunately, my parents taught me to always be honest and when I wasn't, I was punished. This is going to sound crazy but many years later, I legit became OCD about always telling the truth, but I took it to an extreme. For example, if my parents asked me a question like "Did you bring mud into the house?" I couldn't answer. I was so afraid that if I said no (even if I didn't make a mess), that I would unknowingly lie (i.e actually bring a tiny amount of mud in and not know it) and let my parents down. It's hard to explain because it was so bizarre, but it just goes to show how trapped you can become inside your own mind. But, that's another discussion.

    My favorite quote from the article was , "You realize you fell in love with a phony, the ‘perfect’ picture he or she painted of a person he or she will never amount to. The person he or she (and you) had hoped they’d be, never actually existed. You became emotionally invested in a stack of untruths, a victim of your own optimism". I am guilty of falling in love with people that I created in my mind based on how I wanted them to be. Thus, I completely lied to myself. Not only did I learn that lying to yourself ends up in tears and tons of heartache, I learned that love can fog up reality. Actually, that's not love. It was a longing for a love that wasn't there that got me confused with what was really happening.

    I've told plenty of lies and plenty of lies have been told to me. This world is full of deceit. The only people I truly trust are all much older and wiser than me. I hope their examples prove stronger than the examples of the majority of society.

    Thanks for sharing! This got me to think deep, something I enjoy.

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    1. So interesting your story about fear of lying! I was always afraid because my mom would always say to me when she was suspicious of me, "Somebody saw you. I am giving you a chance to come clean." I never really knew if this time it was someone or if she just knew. It was hard to lie to my parents! But I did a few times anyway.

      Lying to spare people their feelings is my biggest fault when it comes to lying. I hate to see anyone sad or upset. But I do have close friends with whom I can be bluntly honest. I have tried since to be honest in a kind way. :)
      I am SO guilty of making people perfect in my mind. It has set me up for some of my biggest disappointments in life. Cautionary tale. If I could give you any advice, it is to be careful of that one. I blame fairy tales in our youth. ;)

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  23. I never realized how much lying occurs in the world today. Reading the article I found myself getting angry, because I thought about someone lying to me. I feel like there is no point in lying. In almost every case the lie will unravel and the truth will be heard. Even though I don't have much room to criticize people who lie, because I know everyone lies including me. I found the part in the article where it talked about where lying came from, childhood. Which is true, you teach yourself to tell a small fib to avoid getting punished but as you get older the lies become more extreme and hurtful to others.

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  24. My mom always told me “Would you rather me tell you the truth or lie to you?” after she would be honest with me. And she was right. I’d rather have her tell me the truth than lie to me. Lying is wrong - even if it’s a white lie or a polite lie. But people don’t have the capability to stop - even if they try; because people may not appreciate their honest. There are people who hate liars - but when someone tells them the truth, they get easily offended. Which is ironic.

    “Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie.” is something I live by. Because lying hurts more than the ugly truth.

    There’s not one single person that can say, proudly, “I have never told a single lie in my life”. I can’t, that’s for sure. For example, “I’m doing well”, “Nice to see you again”, “We’re totally going to hang out during the summer” and “I can’t go, sorry. My parents said no”. The last one is my favorite. These are all common lies that people say. People have been dishonest with me as well. We all can’t help it. We’re either doing it to prevent hurting the other or out of selfishness. Although, that doesn’t make it okay. I try not to lie as much, but the small lies, like the ones stated above, are the ones that never seem to end. Lying should not be acceptable, whether it is to help others or yourself.

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  25. "We've been playin' all of our lives
    In a world of little white lies
    And if we wanna make it
    Then we're gonna have to fake it
    And no one's gonna realize
    We've got

    Nothing but the songs we sing
    Before we know what's happening
    We might be the next big thing
    And I wish we could escape it 
    But let's face it now
    We're caught in the lie"
    -Little White Lie (2009)

    That's the opening song to a short lived Internet musical series that focused on two teenage siblings that accidently took the credit for a kids music and managed to put him in the hospital in the process. I bring this up because it reminded me of the conversation that we are having right now. How just one little white lie can lead you to another little white lie and another and another until you have this uncontrollable mess that you created! Speaking as a lier myslef I can say that lies are a nasty thing. I like to think of them as that one family member who you like at first but then they won't leave you alone. Then it gets awkward. When you think about the way lies are actually handled in our society today it's kind of sad. Lies are almost celebrated! Look at everysingle T.V. show or any family sitcom that's out there now. They all say that it's better to tell someone what they want to hear rather than what they need to hear, and those are really bad lessons to be teaching our young. Lieing is selfish. And it's a bad habit that I need to learn how to stop.

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    1. So true about society's example with lies. It makes me cringe. I have a great video where Fred Rogers addresses that very thing. It's pretty amazing. I will share on Monday, I think. :) You are right about lying. It hurts the ones we love the most....

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  26. No matter who we are, we all lie. Whether you're the Christian above all Christians, you still lie! As humans, we lie unconsciously. If you're walking down the hallway and it felt like a long walk, you'll most likely say, "I just walked like 10 miles to get over here!" Especially as teenagers, we tend to over-exaggerate everything. And like it or not, that's still a form of lying.

    Personally, I am a very blunt person. I tell it like it is. If I don't like someone, I'll tell them. Sometimes, my honesty gets me in trouble. If somebody asks if they look okay, and they don't, I'll tell them and it usually doesn't end very pretty. They'll end up being mad or whatever. But then I think, if you really don't want the truth, then why ask? I don't lie to protect people's feelings. Society today wants people to lie to them. They want people to tell them that they look pretty when they're not or that they're small when they're big. In a way, lying comforts a person.

    Lying comes in different stages. There's the little white lies that almost everyone tells. Then there's the lies that really define who someone is. As a teenager, I lie. I know I said before that I tell it like it is, but that's when I'm dealing with someone else. When I used to get in trouble with school, I would downplay the truth. I would tell my dad bits and pieces to save me from getting in trouble. But omitting part of the truth, or the whole truth, is still lying. And a year ago, I told the biggest lie to my father. But each and every time, he always finds out the truth and it ends up being worse then if I would have told him the truth in the beginning. I've learned from my mistakes. Now, if I do something wrong, I'll tell him everything up front because even though I'll probably get in trouble for what I did, I won't be in as much trouble than if I lied to him.

    There's always two sides to the story. If you get lied to, you think that other person is horrible and question why they lie. But if you're the person doing the lying, you most likely have a reason. People lie whether it's to obtain money, power, or to simply protect themselves. Some lie because it's second nature to them. No matter what it is, someone always has a reason for lying and we can't overlook that.

    One point that really caught my attention in the article was when she was talking about how people lie through social media. With Instagram, most girls that post pictures use filters and what not to make them appear "prettier". They want to change who they are so people will like them. People make fake profiles and pretend to be someone else, for crying out loud! I think that especially in today's age, lying has become so popular. We have our phones that we can hide behind and no one really knows the truth.

    In conclusion, everyone lies. I lie. But I hate being lied to. I respect the people who tell me the truth and are willing to leave it all our there because then at least I know what to do with that information. Even if I don't like the truth, I'll accept it. I don't accept liars. If someone lies to me, I'll cut them off because who's to say that they won't keep doing it? The truth always comes out, so what's the point of lying?

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    1. I really loved your insights about there being two sides to the story. SO true. We justify our own lies, but hold others accountable when they lie to us. That was convicting to me. It reminds me of this story I learned very young at Sunday school. It ends with the statement: "Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone." I still hear that statement in my head every time I find myself being judgmental. It often ends with me apologizing to someone for being snippy or self-examining. :)

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  27. There are so many things I could say about this article and the ironic truth it speaks about lying. Lying relates to all parts of our lives, in every situation we have been in someone has lied either by not admitting the truth, not telling the full truth, or the usual lie we are most familiar with.

    Do we really want our nation to be filled with liars though? It’s not okay. We should expect more of ourselves. We always tell little kids not to lie, but then we ourselves lie. True sometimes they are little white lies, but they still aren’t right. I am not saying that if your friend asks if she looks fat in a dress that you should say yes, but you shouldn’t say no either. What I am saying is, we need to learn how to tell the truth again.

    We know as people how to lie, but we don’t know how to tell the truth because when we think the truth we think harsh, unpleasant, serious, but the truth although yes sometimes it does have to be all those things can also be pleasant if we say it right. Obviously if your friend asks you if that dress makes them look fat, and it does you don’t want to say “Yes! It does!” You could say though, “I don’t think that dress style, type, texture, etc. flatters you very well maybe we should try a different one.” When you tell your friend this they know you meant yes to their question, but just said it in a less insulting way because you care and the best part is it’s the truth. This solution is far better than you telling your friend “No” and them going to a dance or party and looking silly. Our society,however, has become quite blunt which is understandable, fluff gets annoying, but because of our bluntness we have resorted to lies which are much worse and hurt unlike fluff.

    Our society has given up on the truth, but that doesn’t mean we can’t change it. If we demand the truth, we can change our society, our friends, family, and leaders. We can become more truthful. We don’t need lies and we shouldn’t take them either.

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  28. That article was very interesting. My favorite part about the article is the point that they made how some lies are socially acceptable while other lies are not. For example, the fact that we say "It was nice to meet you." but it actually wasn't nice for us to meet them, is socially acceptable. But society freaks out if someone has been cheated on and how lying wasn't socially acceptable. It's a double standard and as a society, we have all come to terms about what lies are acceptable and what lies aren't acceptable.

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  29. I loved the quote "Everyone says they want the truth, but secretly they just want to find some reassurance for the lies because they are always so much more beautiful…," in the beginning of this blog. It gave me a new perspective and made me realize that I always look for people to be honest and genuine when talk to me yet, I find that I am more satisfied when they lie and tell me what I expect to hear. But the difference is I am upset and deeply hurt when I find out I've been lied to rather than when I was upset with the "unpleasant truth." I am a liar just like much of our society today. But when I lie and I know that someone knows it or even if they would never have the slightest thought about it, it bothers me, haunts me, and is almost as if I'm mentally punishing myself until I finally admit that I lied and ask for forgiveness for my actions. I agree that no lie should go unpunished and although we all lie, we should encourage each other to tell the truth in order to not only live in honesty, but to also be content with yourself knowing you're a truthful person. No matter how much we fear the consequence of our actions, we will live more peaceful when we tell the truth. In the article it mentioned social media and dating websites and how some individuals use it with having the intentions of creating a perfect image. I myself had watched a tv series awhile back about people who create fake profiles in order to portray
    themselves as perfection or a lifestyle they desired to live. It inspired me to remove a lot of things from my social media that didn't clearly show the real me and it made me realize that the relationships I should wish to pursue with people should not be with people over social media yet with people who I can see and connect with in person. It has made me happier person knowing it's much less of a lie than it could have been, as well as it's easier to know who is telling the truth.

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    1. LOVE what you said about being honest so that you can be content with yourself as a person. SO Beautifully said. Yes--ultimately truth sets us free because it brings peace. No worries about having to keep up some sort of charade and remember all the points of our lies.
      Mick's statement resonates with me, as well. I really love his character, despite all of his foibles. In my novel, he is a killer, but he cannot lie. Interesting, yes? ;)

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  30. I believe we have all just adapted lying as a coping mechanism. We use it to be lazy, look better, or to cover something up. Sometimes, I will even lie without realizing it until much later. It's become part of our language. I think the reason people lie the most is to make others feel better. "I'm not busy"..."I can help you"...."I'll be there"..."I'll think about it"...."Maybe". We want to instill comfort, without realizing the cost. I want to say that lying is bad and no one should do it. I do feel this way, but there's a big problem. Everyone has this picture that people would rather see something deceivingly beautiful than the ugly truth. However, I feel as if lying drags out the pain. The truth may hurt for a while, but it will at least stop. We are all forever terrified of the truth. That's why we lie.

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  31. Lying is not a bad thing. Whenever you hear someone talking about lies, they usually mention how wrong and unforgivable lying is. However, I will be one of the people who will say that lying is a completely necessary and okay thing. This article mentions the quote “Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie." I do not like this quote at all. People are very fragile, and though they may say that they want to hear the truth, when the truth actually comes out, they're crushed.

    I've had some stupid drama here and there in my life and I always wish I could stay out of it. Whenever my friends tell me that they have information on conflicts that I'm involved in, I always want to hear it. I always need to know everything that anyone says about me and many times I wish I could stop. I know that it would spare my own feelings and make me a lot happier, but I can't. It's kind of like a drug (in a sense) where you always want to know more. However, in these situations I just wish that my friends would lie to me and tell me that everything is okay. Everybody wants that perfect peaceful life, and I believe that lying can actually achieve that in many situations.

    When you lie, you could completely save someones feelings, or avoid a conflict to make situations easier. For example, if you really don't like a someone, but you know that you're going to have to deal with that person in some way for a long term, you may pretend to be nice to them to avoid an awkward situation. If you straight up walked up to that person and just said, "You know what, I hate you and I absolutely can not stand to be around you," you're going to make them feel horrible and you're also going to make having to be around them a miserable situation for both of you. No matter what, pretending that you like that person is lying because you're avoiding the truth and making a false reality around them; but that's okay. Sparing someones feelings is nothing to be ashamed of.

    You could also lie by simply not telling someone something that you've heard about them. Like, say you had a friend who got a really bad haircut and was super insecure about it and then you heard someone say behind her back that he/she looked terrible. You shouldn't tell that person in order to spare their feelings. If you tell them what the other person said about them it might just make them feel even more insecure, or it just might create further conflict. Really, no one likes conflict (unless it's on television!) and we could all benefit from avoiding it.

    Now I'm not saying that huge lies are okay. I think that lies are okay to help people from being hurt, but not to hurt them. If you tell a lie to embarrass a person, I think that is one of the most shameful things and it will never be okay. If you don't have all of the information on a topic or on a persons situation, then it's never okay to spread something you heard about them because then, even unintentionally, you could be telling a lie.

    Whenever you lie, or tell the truth, it all has to be for the good of others. Everyone has to get over themselves and learn that other people matter too and not only their lives are important. Lying will always be okay, as long as it's to help another person or to save someones feelings.

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    1. Hmmm--a lot of interesting feedback here that I really enjoyed reading. I will say a few things (just from age wisdom) that perhaps are things you can think more about, or not...if you please.

      I used to think as you do about lying being okay to spare feelings. Now? I wouldn't say it is okay, but it just is. I must say that if I don't look good in something I am wearing, or if I said something that I shouldn't have, I want to be told. Whether it hurts or not, it helps me grow. Ultimately, whether we try to avoid conflict or not, it will find us. It is a necessary part of every story and our lives are a story--an important and significant one--therefore, conflict will be there, and I say, good. It is what builds our character, strengthens our resolve, builds ultimately stronger relationships, and makes us appreciate all the beauty in life. We are truly nothing without struggle. So while we hate the struggle while we are in it, we really should embrace it as it is making us who we are and leaving us to answer the question: What will you choose to take from this? Bitterness or strength?
      I will still always believe that in truth there is true freedom. You don't need to be mean about truth ever. I think some of what you said in your post mixed together honesty with cruelty. If you are feeling cruel, you can say, "I am in a mood today. I just need time alone." I don't think honesty ever has to hold hands with cruelty. But I do firmly believe that honesty is the ultimate sign of true respect.

      Just something to think about. :)

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  32. Here's a true fact: the world isn't perfect. People lie everyday, from the moment we are babies we learn how to lie to get our parents' attention. By the time we are adults we are practically professionals at telling lies but we can also tell we are being lied to. I admit that I have lied before but I mostly stick to being as honest as I possibly can. I agree that at some point lying is unacceptable, but in today's society everyone wants to be better than everyone else so they constantly stretch the truth a bit too far. I believe lying has been accepted by society because lies seem harmless and they only make you look better. However, once the truth is uncovered, the liars are still forgiven but the trust can never be restored.

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  33. Here's a true fact: the world isn't perfect. People lie everyday, from the moment we are babies we learn how to lie to get our parents' attention. By the time we are adults we are practically professionals at telling lies but we can also tell we are being lied to. I admit that I have lied before but I mostly stick to being as honest as I possibly can. I agree that at some point lying is unacceptable, but in today's society everyone wants to be better than everyone else so they constantly stretch the truth a bit too far. I believe lying has been accepted by society because lies seem harmless and they only make you look better. However, once the truth is uncovered, the liars are still forgiven but the trust can never be restored.

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  34. I don't think lying is a bad thing. I will be honest, I am a liar. I lie to protect myself and others. Though it does get me in trouble most of the time, it sometimes does help. I honestly think and know telling the truth is better for you but sometimes out impulses take over and our brain tells us it would be better if we did lie just this time or in the situation. But the old saying Honest is the best policy is totally true in like 99.99% of the time. I admit it, we all have to lie sometimes or the world would be a weird place.

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  35. Great song choice! Some of my favorites from Billy Joel are, "New York State of Mind and Movin' Out". I guess I just really like his song's from the 70's era.

    This post really made me wonder, "How many times have I been lied to in my lifetime?". I try my hardest not to lie, but, to be completely honest, there are times and places when you have no choice. I believe that you can always tell the truth without hurting someones feelings. If my friend asks me, "Does this top look good on me?", instead of saying, "Yeah, it looks amazing" I might say, "I think the other top will look better with your skin tone." If you don't tell your friend the truth, eventually someone else will.

    It's never good to lie. Like my parents have always told me, lies will always come back to haunt you. I do not believe lying is necessary. There is no reason why we can't all be truthful with one another.

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  36. I think that lying is actually a really huge problem in modern society, and that it's become more accepted and common (which it shouldn't!!). So much of our media, advertising, entertainment, and regular life is filled with lies. Magazines advertise all of the latest scandal, the news focuses on the lies of politics, loved ones deceive one another to varying degrees, we make small lies part of our regular conversations to please others or seem more interesting, we embellish things, and we even lie to ourselves!

    Also, like the author of the blog, I, as a person, have a huge problem with lying. Not only am I brutally honest, but I lack the ability to distinguish lies, even sarcasm and jokes. All kinds of lies, big and small, frustrate me. I truly don't understand: Why would anyone think that circumventing the problem and throwing glitter on it makes anything better? Or is it really so hard to be faithful, or give an honest opinion? A small sting can prevent a lot of pain, much like a vaccine to polio (y'all should donate next week to Interact's Purple Pinky fundraiser, by the way!).

    Just a few weeks ago, in the class that I'm a TA in, I had to explain the moral implications of a 'fib' to some of my seventh graders. Two of them were attempting to convince another that a fib is harmless, beneficial even, and is not considered a lie. I had to illustrate to them that a fib, an omission of fact, and a 'little white lie' are all examples of dishonesty. By not providing the whole truth and accepting it's results, a fib, despite being so small, is still a lie by technical parameters. I further went on to tell them that by saying that a fib is not a lie or act of dishonesty that they were in turn lying to themselves as well, letting them reflect on their decisions.

    This time I leave you three quotes to consider:

    ~"Real eyes realize real lies."

    "No legacy is so rich as honesty" ~ William Shakespeare
    ~~>Paired with: "Honesty is an expensive gift. Don't expect it to come from cheap people."

    "Of all the lies you've told me, 'I love you' was my favorite."

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    1. I love the three quotes! Especially Shakespeare's. SO agree with that!

      As a parent, I hope to leave a legacy of honesty. Not that I have never lied, but I hope to teach through my mistakes that truth is the best option. Being honest is standing up for what you believe, even when you are standing alone (Sophie Scholl - another great quote). What a wonderful world it would be if we could love each other enough to tell the truth! And be "expensive gift givers." ;)

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  37. I feel as though lying is quite important to human beings as a whole. Lies are a necessary part of life. If people were told the truth all the time, many people would grow distain for one another due to the truths that would be told. The obligatory "How do I look?" would be met with honesty, which is not always a good thing. Lying is a way that people can avoid hurting others, and it can often be used to simplify things, as lies can often give you reasoning behind things that would otherwise take a lot of time to explain. Lies may not always be helpful, but the world is founded upon them. We are told simple lies, even in school. Students are told from a young age that Christopher Columbus discovered the United States, when he was in reality one of the latter to discover it. Lies are important to society, and it would not function well without them.

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    1. Oooooo. I have to disagree with you strongly on that last statement. I think that the society we know is so based on lies we cannot imagine what it would be like if it were based on truth.

      I don't want to be lied to by those I love and trust, no matter what. If it hurts my feelings to know the truth, so be it. In the end, when the sting goes away, trust remains, and our relationship is stronger, or if the relationship is broken, at least I can respect them for being honest.

      I lose respect for those who lie to me, and I would expect I would lose the respect of those to whom I have lied. When I ask "How do I look?" I chose to go to those true friends who will tell me honestly. Honesty does not have to be cruel. I believe that society would be beautiful if we could all in our hearts be honest....

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  38. It's crazy how some of these things like I think the article called it a polite lie are part of our daily norms. I totally didn't even think about saying "nice to meet you too" and not mean it was a lie, I didn't even think to consider it as a lie but it is. To think that these things have become so normal in our society is kind of scary. I hate being lied to and I hate lying as well. I can't lie because if I do my guilt will kill me and I'll end up telling the truth. This article brought up some good points and made me think like wow it's crazy how lying is considering something normal to do on a daily basis.

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  39. This blog made me really think about everything I'm told. I feel a little naive now because I am so quick to believe someone, but now I'm going to be a little more cautious. I thought that the reading was interesting when it talked about how we have been telling lies since we were young, and that it was almost instinctual. I think that lying has become into something that has evolved into an instinctual thing for us as humans. Maybe it starts when we are babies. Maybe as babies, we can comprehend more things than people think, and we are exposed to people lying and that's where the instinct comes from. I don't know, but this really made me think. I also have learned that I need to pay attention to when I lie because I don't want to beat the consequences and I really don't want to hurt anyone, because I know how much a lie can hurt.

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  40. I really liked reading this article. It was pretty eye opening. I definitely never thought of trying to be polite as a lie. As someone who hates being lied to, I do try my best not to lie, although sometimes I do find myself omitting truths with the intention of not hurting a person. I do think that sometimes it is okay to lie, such as a polite lie. In cases such as these I'd much rather someone I just met tell me it was nice meeting me and then never talk to me again over saying I hated meeting you, I hope I never see you again. When it comes to close relationships, however, I think it is very important to tell the truth. It was kind of weird and scary to think how normal it is for people to lie and how it's become such a norm that most of the time we don't even stop to think about it. Overall, this was a very interesting read and I enjoyed the points it made. I think I will be more aware of when I'm lying now and able to correct myself from doing so.

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  41. This really made me think about everything that I say, And everything that is said to me. I believe almost everyone, sometimes to a fault, and i never really thought about how much of what people say to me could be lies. I also thought that I was a pretty honest person, but now that I think about it, I have told many people that I did not enjoy meeting, that it was nice to meet them. It is crazy how we have been taught phrases like this since we could speak, that are considered common courtesy. It makes me think about how lying must be human nature. We have learned to do it to adapt, yet it is frowned upon. It's all very interesting to think about.

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  42. "We have all been affected by lies; we’ve been the liar, and we’ve been lied to. Whether it’s a lie told to embellish one’s characteristics or social status, or a lie to cover up deception, or told for fear that the truth will cause more pain; the consequences are, more often than not, devastating." The world now is more susceptible to lying, I believe because we encourage it. So many people lie to get their way, or because they feel it is necessary. Even if you know that lying will get you in trouble, most of the times you do it anyway.

    Catfish was the one show that automatically came to mind when reading this. That show for the majority of it, is all based upon a lie. People create fake profiles just to get a boyfriend/girlfriend. What those people don't seem to realize is that it's not only hurting them in the long run, but it hurts the person that was being lied to. Sometimes the people tell the truth on why they did what they did.Others just dont care.

    My mom would always tell me, "It's better to tell the truth than lie, because you won't get in as much trouble." I would lie to my parents a lot. I eventually realized, what's the point? All that it's doing is hurting me, and my family. I once had told this really big lie that hurt my entire family. It made them not be able to trust me. It took awhile to regain their trust. After that, I got my act together.

    I think that as sad as it is, we will never be able to stop lying. This was a really interesting article to read. It is always better to tell the truth than lie. Even though you will get in trouble sometimes for telling the truth, it is better than the trouble you would have gotten into if you had lied.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing that about your family! More people are guilty of this than you think. But what I truly admire about you is that I see you turned it to good. You learned and grew up from it. That means a lot to you as a person and I am sure to your family!

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  43. Every person on Earth has lied and been lied to. People use lies for many different reasons, but the main one is to cover up something they did. Most lies are used to take the easy way out. Instead of owning up to your mistakes and telling the truth, people use lies to deceive in order to not take the punishment. People even put the blame on other people so that they themselves don't get in trouble. Today, lying isn't seen as a big deal, and people lie more than once a day. It seems like people know that if they are caught lying they know they will get in trouble, but lie anyways. People are willing to take the risk of lying instead of dealing with their punishment upfront. When you do get caught lying it can do more than get you in trouble. Lying can separate relationships, friendships, and even families. Even though I lie myself, I try to tell the truth upfront so that I can just get the punishment over with as soon as possible. I just think to myself that if I'm caught lying, not only will I get in trouble for what I initially did, but I'll get in even more trouble for lying.

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  44. It never personally occurred to me how often I could have been lied to. But then again, everyone lies at some point, including me. Most of the time with good intentions, but sometimes we lie to create an image for ourselves. I like to believe that the small lies we tell don't affect us. but maybe it's just creating a snowball effect.

    Small lies leading to large ones. I know personally that I'd rather just be told the whole truth. I'd like to know everything. This is interesting though because I HATE HATE. I don't like being told what I'm doing wrong in a harsh way. Perhaps lies have the potential to be harmless, but people are just so focused on them being a bad thing.

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    1. I think that we can be honest and kind. But you are right about little lies snowballing! Sometimes, the tiniest lies can become big hurt.
      What gets me is sometimes people lie about things that there seems to be really no point to lie about. That always leaves me scratching my head! I had a friend once in 6th grade who lied about having a cat. Really? Who would care? That has always stuck with me!

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  45. I thought it was fascinating how the article mentioned that lying is an instinctual behavior. At first, I dismissed it a bit, since I thought that it was exaggerating. Lying seemed like something you mimic from other people, since it seems to work for them. Then the article mentioned how even young children lie to get what they want, and it all made more sense. Lying simply is in many cases the logical way to quickly get what you want. It really is only our societal values that say that lying is bad that hold us back from lying much more frequently.
    That aside, I really loved how both your blog and the article examined how lying affects those who are lied to. How earth-shattering the revelation that someone has been lying to you for a long period of time is. It really can change your whole outlook on not just the person who lied to you, but potentially even your life. Maybe we want to keep our secure outlook on the world, and accept lies that make it seem pleasant. Perhaps Mick was right.

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  46. This article really made me realize how much we lie whether we realize it or not. It shows many different aspects of lying that people might not take into consideration. It's as if in today's society we expect people to lie and when the do otherwise we ridicule them for it. I know that me personally sometimes ask people to lie to me. Whenever I learn something new i tell my mom to act as if she hadn't know the thing I'm telling her, whether she knows it already or not. It's pathetic really but I guess I just want to feel like I actually know something or that i taught someone something they hadn't known before. You never truly realize how common lying is today until you start to look for the truth. Then you see how the really believable lies are now intertwined with the truth and how some people start to believe in the lies they say or hear. I guess Hitler was right.

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  47. Oh Mrs. Caraway, I love Mick so much!
    I believe people lie because they're afraid of the outcomes of telling the truth. All the different aspects have one thing in common, it's done selfishly. I never really thought of how many lies are out there but after reading this article, it's true, many famous people do it. We get used to hearing what we want to hear and when someone disrupts that, we go crazy and it's somehow made national television. It would be great if everyone told the truth, we wouldn't be so sensitive or selfish.

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  48. "There are no two words in the English language more harmful than 'Good Job'" (Whiplash). This quote comes from one of my favourite movies and I believe that it resonates very well with this topic. As an athlete, I hate it when my Coach or my parents tell me good job because I know they are lying. (Or maybe I'm just stubborn). Whether we like to believe it or not, we are constantly being lied to, and we are lying back. It's in the little things, like "of course I've done my homework mom!" that subtly has shifted our culture to being one of honour and respect to one where we take everything with a grain of salt.
    The section of the article that resonated home was the section about romance. As a victim of the "perfect man" scenario, reading that just made me angry and upset all over again. Not just because I'm still angry about what happened to me, but because it is happening to other people and it is unacceptable. I couldn't imagine other people having to go through that, I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. It's horrifying realizing that you've been lied to by one of your most trusted people.
    So maybe it is innate, maybe we all just lie to each other for personal gain. Well, if we do have this mentality, we probably shouldn't be too surprised when the truth does come out to play.

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  49. Upon seeing other responses and reading the blog post and the other blog. I came to the conclusion that has humans we lie for a number of reasons. To make ourselves feel better, to make others feel better, to cover up something we have done, or to protect ourselves or another. Yes, we can even lie to ourselves. And we can even believe it. I know that I have lied in the past and I'm sure I will continue to lie in the future. I am not condoning being untruthful, I am saying that as humans we are not perfect, and we will continue to mess up and hurt people. As long as we recognize this and there is growth then we can be accepting of who we are. No matter your religious stand point, personal background or age, we are more alike than we are different. I'm not sure we can place lying under being "socially acceptable" since we are not okay with lying, we just aren't naive and we know it's there and we all do it. not being judgemental when someone lies is key, be upset, yes, but only under a certain degree depending on the severity of the lie, and of course, the reasoning behind it.

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    1. Yes. We need to give ourselves grace, but I also love that you said that just because it is done doesn't mean it should be allowed to be "socially acceptable." Well put!

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  50. I will admit, I have lied. There are some situations where the truth isn't one I am willing to face or prepared to tell. It's easy to lie, it's harder to allow yourself to live in the truth. As I am reading other responses, it makes me feel better that I am not the only one. Reading the article reminded me that we do lie, a lot.
    As much as I can admit I am a liar, I'm starting to wonder who has lied to me? It's a unique question to think that someone so close to me could've told me a serious lie, more then the minor "I can't tonight, I have homework." A lie a little more personal. It's a hard concept to define the lines between what is right wrong, especially when it comes to telling the truth.
    Plus, I love the song!

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  51. This article really helped me notice something that has been right in front of me this whole time. Everyone lies. People lie numerous times a day. Some are small and some are big, but a lie is a lie. I never really thought about that concept. When I tell a small lie, it’s usually to save someone's feelings, and I tend to brush it off and forget about it a later. But how is it benefiting the person who you're trying to help? It will only make matters worse for them. Whether they are aware right away or not. I used to think that, what someone doesn't know won't hurt them. That's not always the case. Lying can start out small and harmless, but the more it takes place, the stronger and bigger the lies become. This is what damages relationships. There is something broken within the bond you share. I know that I've been lied to, and when I find out about, it really really hurts. No matter how big the lie. I lie to others because I don't like to spread negativity, and really, I just like telling others what I would like to hear myself. But that isn't making the relationship you share any better. The last sentence really stood out to me in the article, "Integrity will never deceive you." Which is so true. Even if the truth is ugly, it will always save you. Living truthfully is definitely something hard to face, especially if it’s something you don’t want to believe. But within the truth, there is nothing to hide, the baggage is gone, and it results in a stronger relationship. And most importantly, it's real.

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  52. So well put! Love what you said about relationships. Truth may hurt sometimes, but it isn't a lasting hurt like lying is. When the sting of a lie goes away, the trust is gone. But once the sting goes away from truth, trust remains and is strengthened. That is something to strive for. :)

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  53. This was a very interesting article and it opened my eyes up a little to how lies really are a part of everyday communication. I don't believe it has to be this way though. Telling the truth, no matter how much it may hurt them initially, helps to build trust and in the end works out okay. I do not believe lying to be okay unless (in my mind) it is absolutely necessary. You see things today that support the idea of people always want/pick comforting lies over a hurtful truth. I refuse to believe that as I think everyone, aware of it or not, want to be told the truth no matter how "ugly" it is. In a world based on lies and full of people that lie to each other, no one can be trusted. The few you find you can trust are the ones you should be most careful with. However, those people you find you can trust and are close with, probably don't intentionally try to harm you and were just doing what they thought was best.

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  54. I love what you said at the end. I am personally very glad that you feel that truth is and should always be our most important pursuit.

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  55. I found this article intriguing. As I listened to the song Honesty while reading the article I would just hear honesty and that connects to me because I try to be as honest as I possibly can. From the article they mention that from childhood we learn how to lie to get what we want. The subject of lying connects to what we are talking about in current events on what risks would we take to become the best at what we want to do and lying is apart of it. It is true that anyone would do what is best for them in a heartbeat. As many do try to stay true to who they are there will always be some who will break someone's trust with a lie to get what is better for them. My question now is, how can someone be taught to not feel the need to lie to get what they want?

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  56. This blog post reminds me of a movie I saw a long time ago. The film was a coming of age story about a seventeen-year-old girl who had the ability to see through any lie that she was told. Because of this, her faith in her friends and family dwindled as she discovered through her life just how many lies were told to her. During the movie, however, the main character, Dakota, meets a young man who never lies to anyone and through their meeting, she is forced to re-examine her life.

    She finds that the truth is far more precious to her after being around so many people who lie compulsively every single day. See, like Dakota, many of us find disappointment in the face of those who cower from the truth; It can be a real breath of fresh air to hear people say what's on their mind and heart honestly. However, that being said, I'd like to mention that I don't think people inherently lie for others. I think people lie more for themselves...

    When a standard is not met properly and carefully, it causes for individuals who set the bar too high for themselves to grow embarrassed. And I think that's where most lies come from. To me, lies come from selfishness and ones desire to make themselves feel comfortable. Something that I think Dakota and I would agree on. (Not sure if Mick is in the same boat, he might think that people lie to make others fell better.)

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    1. I would like to first say that I want to know the name of that movie. :) Sounds very interesting! Secondly, you really have me thinking, and I think you are right about lies being more about the liar than anything.

      Maybe telling ourselves that we are lying to spare feelings is just another lie we tell to ourselves. As I am trying to go through various scenarios in my head, in every case, it can come back to the fact that we want to avoid confrontation or feeling uncomfortable about something.

      My pastor growing up once taught that every sin really comes back to stealing. When we lie, we are stealing--we are stealing another person's chance to know the truth, big or small. When you put it like that, it is just not okay.

      Mick is an interesting character. He is a killer for the Irish mob (among other things) but he cannot lie. His brother points this out to him in a conversation. He is an interesting character, to be sure.

      Thanks for your reflection!

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  57. I thought this article was very strait forward. It mentioned how lies can sometimes be the make or break part of our lives. It mentioned that sometimes we need a little "white" lie to help give us the strength to get through the day but that in all reality lies are and can be very distractive. Everyone lies; and if you try to say that you've never told one, chances are your pants are probably on philosophical fire. We all lie in some sense to help others, it's very hard to tell the absolute truth because sometimes either you're unsure or you're trying to save someone else's feelings. Lying hurts; but no doubt it can sometimes be beautiful.

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  58. I agree very much with the author of the article and I think that is sad how people view lying. We all see it overall as a bad thing and judge others for doing yet we do it all the time and I’m not talking about the little white lies either. People will brag about lying because it got them out of a certain unfavorable situation. Sometimes it is a serious thing. I myself try to go about life being honest and true. It used to be a valued thing to be honest but now it’s possible that being truthful brings about negative effects (excluding telling your friend’s mom the dinner was good). In sports it is better to lie about a foul that happened to gain an advantage than tell the truth and lose that advantage. Our society plays games of lies. Politicians who are truthful will lose to those tell a convincing comforting lie. It is the way we are people I guess, we go with whatever sounds better.

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  59. Besides what the author in this article has to say, I don't believe there are any reasons to lie. As many people believe, we are doing this to protect others, for me, that in itself is a lie. Lying is done to protect ourselves. Lying is done all around us, and many are learning to accept it as a way of life. Lies are in no way acceptable in any way shape or form. Honesty is the best policy. Yes, I do lie, we all do, but I steer away from it as much as possible. You can be honest without being mean or rude. When you lie, you're robbing someone of knowing the truth and you're going to get caught in it. No matter what people have to say, lying is one of the worst things you can do. The truth will always be revealed. Even when it isn't I'm a strong believer of karma, and what goes around will come back to you. Whether it be a big lie, or a little white one, don't do it. Tell the truth and be brave. Don't cower in the false protection of a lie.

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    1. Love your response and I agree. Truth requires bravery. Even if it's scary, even if it involves consequences, the truth frees our spirit. Integrity is not cheap. :)

      And I believe in karma in a sense, too. I look at it as natural consequences.

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  60. This article seemed very blunt towards the general action of lying. Knowing that all of us do lie, and expect that to cover our butts, or bring a little more comfort when telling or letting the truth come out. It shows how the evolvement of lying has been going on the centuries, and how the President lied about Monica Lewinsky. It's a social sickness.

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  61. (And even farther back, apparently! But I swear I remember listening to "Little Lies" by Fleetwood Mac, and responding. Yet here I am. Again, somehow???)

    I am not a bad liar. I am a fairly good liar, when I try. However, I do absolutely suck at lying, because I hate lying.
    I am very good at honesty, and bluntness. through and through, if you ask for honesty, (and 90% of the time you don't) you're going to get my exact thoughts on whatever matter there is. I don't beat around the bush like a 3 year old. I am upfront, and in your face about the truth.
    I expect the same back from almost everyone. I don't want your lies. Because lying is either a result from you pitying me, or your own insecurities. I don't have the time or patience to deal with either.

    I saw, just like everyone else, that everyday, almost everyone lies about something. I will fully acknowledge that. And, accept that about others. But, as I flip through my day today, I can't remember a time I lied. Even just the small, "Nice to meet you!!! (Not)".
    And because of the fact, that I can't remember any lies I stated, I cant just let and be okay with others lying left and right, on and on.

    As for other points made, about sparing someones feelings, or having someone lie to me, to spare mine... I'm calling some MAJOR BS. That's just another excuse. I will never (or try my very honest, best) lie to make someone else feel better. Ever. I will lay it all out on the table. And if they don't like it, they picked the wrong person to go to.
    As for certain comments on here, if I hated somebody, that doesn't mean I'm lying if I don't walk up and say, "I hate you". Being civil and lying, are very different things. There are people I do not like. If they ask me how I feel, i will give them an honest answer. Or if they make comments I disagree with, I am quick to counter with them. But honesty isn't being rude, and telling them you hate them for no reason.
    And for the case of sparing my feelings... Please. I beg of everyone, always to be straightforward, and honest. I want to know exactly what people think of me and why. I want to know everything, because it's all about the personal growth. I thrive from peoples honesty about and with me. A teacher once insisted that I was LYING by saying that. That everyone says it, until it happens. But, here I am. I love when it happens. Its my favorite thing.

    Also, a last note. Do you want to know whats some crazy dumbness? I have had a teacher force me to lie, and apologize to another student before letting me leave her office. Because I had "made an uncomfortable situation", simply by asking questions, and making a point to someone who was sensitive. Just saying, I would do it all again, besides the apologizing part. Because that was not true to my form. I do not lie. (Except over petty things to authority figures. "Geneva, is that your natural hair, or did you dye it?" "Totally this bright red naturally, don't worry" Because, sorry, if the rules are dumb, I'm probably ignoring them.)

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  62. While I agree with the article for the most part, I still feel there is too much acceptance with lying in our society. Its just a "white lie", they'll say but really its not. You don't know how someone will take the information you give them, you don't know if they will abuse it, or cite you for what you said. In these times it is very important to be careful of what you say, lie or not. If I have something unpleasant to say to someone, instead of making up a "white lie", I choose to not say anything. It goes back to the old saying of if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all. In situations where I find a lie may get me out of trouble, I try to think if this was discovered to be a lie, would it make my punishment worse? If it does, I know i'm better off telling the truth. While I know lying can sometimes be necessary or rather inevitable, I recognize the ugliness in lying and I don't accept any part of it in my life. I try to be an upfront and honest person to everyone, and strive to be honest in my dealings with all men.

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