Friday, February 27, 2015

GUILT or SHAME? Exploring the differences and applying it to literature

Like two peas in a pod, guilt and shame are two human experiences that we intrinsically tie together.  But is that where they belong?  Are they really so synonymous?

According to psychologists, the answer is sometimes.  But these same psychologists assert that this is not where they should stay.  Both don't feel too great, but one of them serves a valuable purpose while the other is not too much unlike that prison door back in Salem or the scarlet letter Hester Prynne wore constantly affixed to her chest.

This week, I would like you to read an article that explores the differences between guilt and shame and how they affect us throughout our lives.  Then, there is a short video that very clearly gives us a definitive line between guilt and shame.  It is pretty eye opening.  I can honestly say that it really increased my awareness of how I have evaluated my own shortcomings and those of others.  Once again, the power of our words is emphasized.  The tiniest change in our language expression to ourselves and others can make a world of difference:  "I made a very careless error," vs.  "I am a very careless person."

Guilt requires cognitive dissonance--a sense that a very important moral code or valued rule has been broken.  Shame, on the other hand, does not necessarily require the breaking of a rule or moral code.  It could come from feeling wronged or embarrassed.  Guilt is more closely associated with me hurting someone else in some way while shame may also be associated with a hurt that has been inflicted upon myself.  How does this apply to our literature, The Scarlet Letter?  Hester felt internal guilt for adultery, but the scarlet A she wore made her a victim of disapproval and ostracization.  That, my friends, is shame.


Here is the link for the article:  http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/guilt-shame
Here is the link for the short video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgm5PdENAxM
Enjoy, and share your reactions.

Are you holding on to some hidden shame?  Something that is inhibiting you from moving forward and becoming the best version of you?  Reflect on these two messages, and then maybe you will enjoy the freedom Hester discovered for one precious moment on a walk through a forest....  "The stigma gone, Hester heaved a long, deep sigh, in which the burden of shame and anguish departed from her spirit.  O exquisite relief!  She had not known the weight

                                                                until she felt the freedom..." (186).


37 comments:

  1. This article and video were very powerful and eye opening. It is crazy that these two words can be caused by the same event but both have two extremely different results. After hearing the difference as being "I am the mistake" versus, "I made a mistake" was very profound. It made me realize how many times I talk to myself with shame. Probably on a daily basis. When I look in the mirror and tell myself I'm not good enough. Or when I say something I should have kept to myself and think I never do anything right. A lot of times we look at these mistakes and because they hurt us or others they take over our minds and that is all we see. There are so many of the good things we have done or are doing but the mistake is what takes over. It is almost like a field of flowers, beautiful, until you see the one that is dead or different. You can't unsee it and it takes over the field.
    The quote you used at the end "She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom..." (186). Is probably so true. We don't always realize we are so down on ourselves until something goes right. So the field of flowers can also work in reverse. They are all dead but one and it becomes the focusing point. It makes you realize the good because there was bad.
    I hope that this will help me remember to look at others and myself in a new light. Making mistakes is part of being human. Which leads me to one of my favorite quotes, "It will be alright in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

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  2. I love that quote. I will remember that. ;) Yes-I also love how she said that we need to tell ourselves we are human, and we will make mistakes. It is like the difference between being a perfectionist and a high achiever. Perfectionism can hurt us because it doesn't allow for any errors. Working your hardest is great. Not forgiving yourself when you fall, not so great. Loved reading your response. :)

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  3. The article and video talked a lot about how shame is more related to thinking you are a bad person and guil is more about you made a mistake. It seems like shame is used more like a punishment and people even punish themselves by being shameful. Hester is shamed in the Scarlet letter by being forced to wear the A and people call themselves idiots after doing something stupid like the video said. Guilt, on the other hand, makes it sound like what it really is which is that you just made a mistake and life goes on. If we all focus more on realizing the guilty than the shame, then it sounds like we can be happier.

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  4. I feel like I got more information from the article than I did from the video. I wrote a list of quotes and interprations I got from each source. I think I like the article more because it breaks down the words shame and guilt.
    The first I thing was look up in the dictionary the two words and read their definitions. Then my mom and I sat down and discussed what God wants us to feel, and what the Enemy wants us to feel. The answer was God wants us to feel guilt, because He wants us to be aware of what we had done was wrong and we become a better person when we forgive ourselves and move on by learning from our mistake. The Enemy wants us to do shame, where we feel humiliation and painful emotions to hate who we are for something we've done wrong.
    This is something I believe every human being will feel a number of times in their life. Everyone's mind, background, and personality skills are different, however everyone has the choice to heal and learn from their wrong decisions or punish themselves.

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    1. Yes, we do all have the choice. I think that is why I feel so sad for Dimmesdale. He and Hester have a chance at happiness. He could be the man who protects her and his child, but first he needs to forgive himself, and this can only happen by acknowledging his guilt and realizing that it doesn't define us. One helps us rise above and one keeps us sinking. Great analysis.

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  5. I found the article very intriguing. I liked how in the article, they took both guilt and shame and broke them down by meaning. They really showed how both are different from each other. Before reading the article I would have thought that both shame and guilt are the same, but as I realized they both have a very different outcome. I liked how in the article it stated "the differences between shame and guilt (who I am versus what I did" Once I thought about this I found it to be true. Once I saw both of these in that sense, it made it very clear how to distinguish one from the other. I also found the video helpful to understand the difference between the two.

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  6. At first I would have said that guilt and shame are essentially the same thing, but looking at the article and video they talked a lot about how guilt is like making a mistake you wish to take back, and shame is like thinking that you are a bad person. Now after looking at them both I agree that they are different, in the sense that guilt is something that we had done, and shame being something that changes how we see ourselves.

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  7. What I took from the article and video is that guilt is accepting you made a mistake and learning how to fix it, and shame is the self-pity and believing that YOU are the mistake. Both the video and the article made me feel very small. I have suffered from anxiety a lot and I have noticed when I am having an anxiety attack I tend to label myself and only make things worse. But now that I read the article I feel like what I am doing is shaming myself for getting so nervous around people. What I should be doing instead of feeling shameful about it, is I should turn it into guilt and conquer through it. Whenever I feel guilty about something it makes me motivated to do better, like today in class. Like the quote Mikensee had, “Everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay then it isn’t the end”. Instead of sitting, sulking in your shame you need to move forward and realize everything will be okay because everything can be learned from and fixed. And no matter what someone will forgive us.

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  8. My reaction to the article was that I haven't looked at guilt and shame like that. To me, guilt is feeling regret for something you did, which the article said. However, I looked at shame as someone feeling ashamed for what they did. The article see shame as feeling poorly about themselves, while I think that shame is not being proud of what you did.

    But, looking at the video, I see what the article was trying to say. Dr. Brené Brown just simplified it better for me I guess. I liked how she said that shame is saying "I'm an idiot." while guilt is saying "What I did was idiotic." When I read in the article that shame is "feeling poorly about oneself" I thought of someone being negative towards themselves for some reason.

    Overall, I liked how clear the difference between guilt and shame became.

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  9. What I thought was really interesting and stood out to me in the video is how she described the difference between shame and guilt. “I’m sorry I made a mistake = Guilt… I’m sorry I am a mistake = shame.” I’m not sure why this stood out to me so much but it did. Such a little difference in how you phrase something has a whole new meaning. A phrase that suck out for me in the reading to tell the two apart is “We feel guilty for what we do, we feel shame for what we are.” Guilt seems to be the outcome of shame for me. Say I did something wrong and no one knows about it I’m going to talk myself down, tell myself I’m stupid and a mess up, yet once someone finds out about that it turns into guilt, telling myself what I did was wrong but I’m not a bad person. I think it’s really interesting how different and yet how similar the two are.

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  10. I really liked the video and the article. What I liked most about each one was the distinct difference between "Guilt" and "Shame". I thought the same as Kirra about the "I'm sorry I made a mistake.= guilt"... and "I'm sorry, I am a mistake=shame." This really stood out to me. However, I never looked at shame that way. Guilt is feeling regret for a mistake but I thought shame was feeling regret for the overall situation not just the mistake made. To me this was, in a way, enlightening and I'll definitely be thinking about guilt and shame when I feel regret in any way (hopefully not too soon.).

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    1. I am glad to hear that you and everyone who posted above your post is coming to this realization. :) It is freeing to know so that you can face a situation when it arises (and agree, Yulissa, hopefully not too soon!) :)

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  11. Guilt and Shame. Even though both the article and video were helpful in identifying differences between the two subjects, I still feel the two concepts are too inversely related for me to ever fully grasp. This article very much sealed my outlook on some of the concepts related to guilt and shame and all in all this article was very helpful.
    Nathaniel Hawthorne very much plays with the ideas of guilt and shame. In the novel, as with life, there are many themes going on, this further intensifies the human instinct to find a set "good" and"evil". As we see in the novel, the author almost places the embodiment of shame on the townspeople. The attacking or striking out on Hester in the beginning of the book closely resembles how those with shame bring others down in order to feel uplifted.I myself am not quite sure if Hester feels more shame or guilt but inevitably she "transforms" her dissatisfaction into a positive and constructive impact on the environment around her. As the book states "She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom..." (186).

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    1. Lovely analysis, Ashlynd! I love your comment that in the novel, as in life there are many themes. SO many. And in the novel, like life, everyone is flawed. No Prince Charmings. ;) Love what you said too about shame and the townspeople. Very enlightening.

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  12. I went through a period of my life where I was very depressed and I thought it was guilt that was ruining my life and not only until now did I realize that it was not guilt, but shame and that, that was what was controlling my mind. Shame is huge! I like in the video how they talked about shame being things like I hate myself for doing that I am stupid, compared to that was stupid. I love when they said, "We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are." I thought that was incredible! I also feel like Hester is feeling both shame and guilt because she is getting down on herself, but she is also feeling guilt for committing adultery.

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  13. I am so glad that you could apply this to your own situation and find truth! :) Now that you are armed with this novel, should depression ever seek to plague you in the future, remember the self talk: actions may be bad, but that doesn't mean people are. There is always redemption available. ALWAYS.

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  14. The article and video were very interesting. I had never thought of the difference between the two, and I always thought they were the same. But it turns out there is a huge difference, literally life changing. I know for me, whenever I make a giant mistake I always berate myself and basically call myself stupid. I love though that it says you can feel so bad for your mistakes without feeling bad about who you are as a person, because this is who I am and it's so hard to hear that you're an idiot, even and especially from yourself. You are your own biggest influence. How you treat yourself is a big indicator of how you will then react to the world around you. I like the distinction and that I can treat myself as having made a mistake, rather than being a mistake. Thanks for sharing this :D

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  15. Guilt and shame are simply part of life, that we live with. Some choose to deal with it and some hide it away. The article states, "We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are". I agree and disagree with this because although I have felt guilty for stealing a cookie before dinner but I have never felt shame for who I am. Since I haven't felt the shame from who I am, I don't think I can fully grasp the meaning of it, or maybe I ignore the emotion of shame. There is a clear difference between guilt comes from a wrong doing, and shame is about who you are.

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  16. I have a hard time with the shame and guilt thing. I tend to have the shame side of things, as it is defined in the article. I tend to think of myself as the bad person and as the idiot and as the person who was the stupid one. And that kind of makes my life a little bit on the sad side. I do like the idea though that the act was the bad thing and not the person. I'm that person that likes to find some kind of good in a person when i can. However there's always that one person that did something so bad that I cant see past it.. I feel guilty about it but it's hard. I think it might be just or nature that causes us to do that or just our upbringing maybe..

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  17. I love both the article and the video. The Article was more detailed and had many examples of guilt and shame. It compared and contrasted them very well. I never thought of guilt and shame in the way that both the article and the video describe it.
    Now I think of Shame as putting yourself down & guilt as knowing what is morally correct. I never thought about shame tying with depression, bullying or any of the things that was mentioned in the video.
    Both guilt and shame are social factors and tie up with any social situation (mentioned in the article).
    What caught my attention was that in the article it mentioned how some people may try to put others down to make themselves feel better. They use envy & criticism as a trigger to fulfill themselves. Obviously most times this just makes things worse.
    In personal situations like divorce shame is a huge factor as well. "In a situation of divorce where one or both parties have been shamed for various reasons, the resulting responses can only enhance the negative aspects of what is already an unpleasant experience."
    Overall I love how in the article it says- "Using guilt as an influence tool can be very helpful, but must be used with caution. Guilt can be used to influence people to do both good and bad -- positive and negative. As with any tool, it is important that it is used appropriately and responsibly"
    It points out that guilt can be used as a prevention of conflict and I like how it is not always negative.

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  18. This video and article defined a very fine line for me, the line that separates guilt and shame. "I am a mistake", as opposed to, "I made a mistake". Guilt and shame seem like natural human burdens to me, something everybody at one point lives with. Now that I have seen this fine line of difference, I can identify past situations with a different perspective. Though I have lived plenty of guilt, I never thought about how living with guilt has made me shameful of who I am or how my actions define how I see myself. Personally, I see shame as a result of an action that caused guilt. But I also feel that they are carried differently. Personally, guilt weighs heavy and is persisting, while shame turns you on basically, you.

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  19. I think you are really on to something when you say "they are carried differently." That is very well described. Both weigh heavily, but one is more inward focused and can have lasting, damaging effects while they other may help to effect change.

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  20. Although the article was more informative, I connected more with the video. When it was explained how people handle themselves when they feel shame, I learned something. I learned that I am one of those people that were mentioned that handles it the best. I have friends that will ask me if I ever cry or feel upset for more than five minutes. The truth is; I don’t hold on to things as long as everyone else does. If I do something wrong, I almost always skip feeling any shame, talk it out with myself, and then just feel guilty for a while. I did agree where the article said that shame was a more powerful emotion than guilt. Shame is the “in the moment” emotion you feel when you first do something wrong. Guilt is derived from looking back on the experience, so it’s more of a dull, hollow feeling. I can’t say either are good feelings or that one is better than the other. Just like they mentioned; this is how people get depression, anxiety, and other disorders. I don’t know what age you start to have a better mindset like I’ve thankfully acquired. Maybe it’s all up to you. Maybe that’s why my friends like to come to me for advice. And maybe that’s why I want to be a behavioral therapist…to prevent this feeling. Hopefully, one day everyone will learn how to just release the past and follow through with what you want, because I can say that happiness is one of the best emotions.

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  21. Although the article was more informative, I connected more with the video. When it was explained how people handle themselves when they feel shame, I learned something. I learned that I am one of those people that were mentioned that handles it the best. I have friends that will ask me if I ever cry or feel upset for more than five minutes. The truth is; I don’t hold on to things as long as everyone else does. If I do something wrong, I almost always skip feeling any shame, talk it out with myself, and then just feel guilty for a while. I did agree where the article said that shame was a more powerful emotion than guilt. Shame is the “in the moment” emotion you feel when you first do something wrong. Guilt is derived from looking back on the experience, so it’s more of a dull, hollow feeling. I can’t say either are good feelings or that one is better than the other. Just like they mentioned; this is how people get depression, anxiety, and other disorders. I don’t know what age you start to have a better mindset like I’ve thankfully acquired. Maybe it’s all up to you. Maybe that’s why my friends like to come to me for advice. And maybe that’s why I want to be a behavioral therapist…to prevent this feeling. Hopefully, one day everyone will learn how to just release the past and follow through with what you want, because I can say that happiness is one of the best emotions.

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  22. We easily are ALL people who experience the shame and guilt that the video portrayed.. when they said we feel guilt for what we do and shame for what we are it shows you how easily those two things can be known. They are also easy to mix up. I am 100% sure we have felt shame for something about ourselves. Classic teenage insecurity. And we all make mistakes that we instantly feel guilty for.. and both the article and video just explains it. I feel like people don't actually know the difference. But this helped.

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  23. We easily are ALL people who experience the shame and guilt that the video portrayed.. when they said we feel guilt for what we do and shame for what we are it shows you how easily those two things can be known. They are also easy to mix up. I am 100% sure we have felt shame for something about ourselves. Classic teenage insecurity. And we all make mistakes that we instantly feel guilty for.. and both the article and video just explains it. I feel like people don't actually know the difference. But this helped.

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  24. I thought both the article and the video were both very informative. I had honestly never really thought about the real difference between the two. The part that struck me as the most eye-opening was how guilt and shame influence further action differently, how guilt is something that stops you from doing the same thing in the future, but shame causes you to start perceiving yourself negatively. In The Scarlet Letter, Hester definitely feels guilt about what she did, but she is not shamed by it, despite the townsfolk's best attempts. On the other hand, Dimmesdale feels guilt and is shamed by what he did, and that's what is killing him. As the doctor in the video and the article said, shame turns inward, it causes people to withdraw and focus more negative energy towards themselves. This is exactly what Dimmesdale is doing, and this makes it harder for him to move on with his life, even seven or eight years later.

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  25. This is definitely one of the best blogs yet. So, so powerful! I had never really thought about there being a difference between shame and guilt. What a gap! These two characteristic could, potentially, mean life or death. I mean, like the video said, shame can cause depression and self harm. Now that I think about it, don't you think shame is why people commit suicide? They get to such a low place in life and hate themselves or their surroundings to the point of taking their own life.

    I hate feeling guilty, but it's so helpful to build character. It has taught me to be humble enough to apologize and bold enough to own up to my mistakes. Guilt has taught me that I need help, that I can't get rid of these transgressions on my own. Guilt magnifies the fact that I am a sinner who needs to be saved through grace.

    I would like to say that I have never felt shameful of myself. But that's the fattest lie ever. In fact, I feel shame everyday! "I'm so awkward. I'm not pretty. I'm not cut out for this". Unfortunately, I can't help feeling shame. I think everyone feels shame a lot more than they realize because it's hidden under other titles such as "self conscious" or "pitiful". But, they're all forms of shame. I can't completely control the thoughts that come into my head. However, I can decide what to do with them. Am I going to chew on those shameful thought and let them fester inside of me? Or will I combat those thought with righteous thinking and remind myself of my true identity?

    Originally, I was going to do my poster on guilt, but after reading this blog, I feel that shame plays a bigger role in The Scarlett Letter. Hester feels much more shame than guilt. Even after the town stops persecuting her, she remains isolated. She also, does many acts of charity and diverts the blame of others onto herself, as if to add more shame to her, already heaping, pile of pity. All of these are signs of shame as noted in the article.

    It's kind of odd because I feel my heart go out to Hester. What a miserable place to be in! She is consumed with shame inside and out and it seems she will never escape it because of that darn scarlet letter and Pearl. I hope some shame is relieved from Hester by the end of the book.

    Thank you so much for sharing :) Great food for thought!

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    1. GREAT response. I really enjoyed reading it--a lot of deep thought and it is also thought provoking. I am really looking forward to your poster!

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  26. When I think of guilt I didn't even think about shame or how shame was associated with guilt, I never realized how different yet similar they are. I agree with the video title that guilt is better than shame. I hate feeling guilty about things but it definitely helps me learn and make the right decisions. If I want to do something that I know isn't right or my parents wouldn't approve of I feel guilty even before doing it which makes me not even end up doing it most of the time. There are times in everyones life probably on a daily basis they feel shame, myself included. At the end of the day I believe my shame and guilt helps me and builds me up and motivates me to be a better person. If I feel ashamed of something Im going to make a change in my life so I can be satisfied with who I am as a person. I enjoyed the video and the article as well it was cool to learn about the different behaviors and things guilt and shame can bring upon someone.

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  27. When I think of guilt I didn't even think about shame or how shame was associated with guilt, I never realized how different yet similar they are. I agree with the video title that guilt is better than shame. I hate feeling guilty about things but it definitely helps me learn and make the right decisions. If I want to do something that I know isn't right or my parents wouldn't approve of I feel guilty even before doing it which makes me not even end up doing it most of the time. There are times in everyones life probably on a daily basis they feel shame, myself included. At the end of the day I believe my shame and guilt helps me and builds me up and motivates me to be a better person. If I feel ashamed of something Im going to make a change in my life so I can be satisfied with who I am as a person. I enjoyed the video and the article as well it was cool to learn about the different behaviors and things guilt and shame can bring upon someone.

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  29. After reading and watching the selections, I am pleased to say that I learned a fine distinction between guilt and shame, which I would not have previously known to this extent. Both concepts are reactions to the same type of event, with different focuses. Guilt condemns an action and expunges it from the person, resulting in a more purified (or nearer to perfect) person. Shame condemns the person for the action, resulting in shrinking away from perfection. Perhaps the most alarming fact is the correlation between shame and aggression towards others, bringing shame out of the imagined category where things only affect ourselves and are ultimately of no consequence.

    I have made innumerable mistakes throughout my life which have called for reevaluation. Unfortunately, shame has been a stronger factor than guilt in the reactions to these situations. Taking these lessons into consideration, I expect to be much more careful in my reactions to negative results in situations of the present.

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  30. I'm glad I waited to do this, because just on Friday I did something that was super dumb, but was a complete accident. As I was switching lanes to go onto the freeway heading to the school for practice, I somehow, basically slammed the side of the car into the curb. Since it was a curb it was mostly the tires/hubcaps/rims. Some lights on my dash board all went crazy for a second, and it definitely scared me a bit! But I couldn't stop to check for damage, but when I got to the school, I check my back wheel, because I thought that was all I hit. Just a bit of a scuff. So I went to practice, and when I was walking back to my car I realized I was missing a hubcap on the front tire on the passenger side. And as I got closer, I realized that the rim, holding my tire was bent. Realizing that I did something super dumb, I started out by saying how dumb I was for doing that, How could I have not seen the curb, and more. But as I went along, I just realized that it wasn't that big of a deal, it was just going to be something to deal with. So, before I told my parents, (I was at my grandmas) I went to Discount Tires, found out I needed a new rim, bought the new rim, then told my dad today all of it.

    I just figured out, that it wasn't worth getting caught up in, I hit a curb, I messed the car up a bit, whatever. I fixed it, it's fine now. Slowly I have been trying to train myself to not be so ashamed of what I do/am. Because generally, the guilt or shame comes from the fact that other people are going to judge us, or know about us, or be disappointed. Those are the only times you feel those certain ways. So, when I remove that, and just think about being happy with myself, and being okay with myself, its much easier to get away from the kind of feelings like guilt and shame.

    For a last example, if I want to wear a shorter shirt, that you can possibly see my stomach at times, I'm going to wear it. I am well aware I do not possess the perfect body type for that, but if it bothers you seeing a stomach in a less conventional way, I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to deal with it.
    Thats my newer thinking.
    Before, it would have gone more like this,
    I cant buy that shirt unless I wear really high-waisted shorts or jeans because I don't want people to see my stomach, because I don't look good like other people. And I don't want people to look at me and thinking im trying to hard, or I'm too fat for this, and it seems a bit tight doesn't it? I'm not gonna wear or buy this.
    I like the first one better.

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  31. I honestly never really looked at guilt and shame as intercepting emotions all that much. Perhaps because I never really saw the connection until now. The article and video definitely opened my eyes but it also made me wonder why I kept them closed in the first place. I think guilt and shame are the two emotions that really force us to feel. Of course, sadness we're sad and anger we're mad, but to be guilt/shame is a antagonizing feeling. I for one hate feeling guilty. I almost can't deal with it. I don't like the idea that I did something wrong or something that people I care about would be disappointed in me. Does that make me ashamed of my actions? I don't know... this is quite interesting and something I'll have to observe more in my personality. I always believed love and hate go hand and hand because they're two strong emotions which means your emotionally affected by someone/something negatively or positively. Perhaps this is the same with guilt and shame.

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  32. I now have a better understanding of knowing the difference between guilt and shame, and I can easily relate to both. The two emotions can be a burden in life, and some people just don't realize it. For example, I'm not the type of person to go out and party because most of the time that requires to socialize with people. I am ASHAMED of talking to other people, because I have the fear of being rejected or judged by the way I look. Being overweight a lot of people judge easily based on appearance. After awhile, I start to feel GUILTY because, I should've approached them, and talked to that person regardless, maybe I could have made a new friend? Maybe that could've been my future husband? Or a potential spouse for a friend? Questions like that begin to be unhealthy for the mind, and can soon physically be unhealthy as well.

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  33. Before reading the article, and watching the video, I thought shame and guilt were the same thing. I found out that shame is you doing something wrong and thinking you are a horrible person for doing so. Whereas guilt is you knowing you did something wrong and that thing you did wrong takes you over. When I do something bad, and I don't get caught for it I get that feeling that I knew what I did was wrong and I should've got in trouble(I usually do in the end). That's when I feel guilt, when I feel shame is when I get back a test that I thought I did well on to get a failing score. I think of how bad a person I am and I think I'm not very smart. I tend to get over it though and think the reason I got a bad score wasn't because of how smart I am, but because I didn't study or pay attention. After reviewing guilt and shame I found they are two totally different traits.

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