Thursday, October 30, 2014

THAT ONE GREAT REGRET

Regrets.

They are the outcome of a decision made prematurely, a thoughtless action or inaction, an impulsive act made without forethought.

A missed opportunity.  

I have never fully understood (and in many ways, envied) people who say confidently they have lived a life with "no regrets."  No regrets?  Really?  Haven't you made mistakes you wished you could take back?  Haven't you ever found yourself looking back on a circumstance, only to realize, "I could have been a better friend, made a nobler decision, acted with greater courage or authenticity?"  I have.  All of the above.

To me, if someone I love or care about was hurt in anyway by my action or lack thereof?  That is a regret.

It's not that living with regrets is a "bad thing."  It's a life thing.  It's a great teacher.  It forces us to reflect; to look back on former decisions so that in our future, we will make better ones.

Regrets keep us humble, and humility is a character trait that is both rare and precious.  Regrets remind us that we need grace--and in turn, we would do ourselves well to offer that same grace to others.

This article was shared with me by a friend and colleague who thought it would be a great read for this class.  It is thought provoking.  Hopefully, it will remind you that while we might not be one of those "lucky few" who live "without regrets," we are among those who discover some profound purpose in every single one of them.


http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/10/29/1340122/--Son-tonight-I-will-kill-myself

41 comments:

  1. I thought the article was very interesting and it made me think about how we make decisions. The person in the article made one bad decision and because of that he regrets it for the rest of his life and it makes me think how careful we should be with making the right decision. A carless decision about something that we don’t think means too much at the moment could come back to haunt us later and it always just makes us wish that we could fix that one thing and that would make everything better, but maybe sometimes any decision you made would lead to something you regret and so you just have to go with the least painful one because not all the choices we have will have a decision with a good result.

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  2. The article was made me a little uncomfortable to read as I started reflecting on my decisions and the impact that they could've made on my current life. It is true though, I don't believe we can live life with out regrets. We will reach times in our lives where we think twice about doing something and choose the wrong path. It's human nature to make mistakes because how else do we learn? There's a quote that someone told me a long time ago that I cannot recall who it is by at this time "You can never regret anything to do in your life." which is something I try to live by more often. Our mistakes and our wrong turns shape who we are and help lead us to our potential. It's hard to not regret things, but you also have to put in perspective, if you didn't miss that bus, how would your life be?

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  3. That article was extremely well written. It made effective use of emotion to hook the reader onto the story, and then progressed with its message. I can personally imagine the deep feeling of regret that the writer must have felt at missing that opportunity to get to meet and spend time with a living hero of his own people. It was a simple enough decision for him to make, to skip out on this activity he was supposed to go to, and it didn't seem like it would have serious consequences at the time. He wasn't making the decision with full knowledge of everything about it, and that is true of every decision that everyone makes. As he missed that opportunity with Jan, learning only later just how significant his missed opportunity was, the writer of the article must have felt a gnawing and suffocating emptiness. His regret would be compounded by the decision being completely irreparable.

    Regret is a painful burden to carry, being most intense immediately after one learns the depth of their mistake. From my personal experiences, I can look back on individual instances and think "I could have done better with that" or "I should have taken advantage of that" or "that wasn't a suitable decision for the character I want to have". From that point, I have a past situation that I cannot change anything about, and it has a very real pain for me to deal with in the present. I can either succumb to such a pain, and potentially have cause for far greater regret later, or I can take it and use it as an incentive for me to do better with future decisions. If I didn't interact and spend time with a relative when I should have, I can have more knowledge of the decisions I make concerning spending time with other relatives. If my words caused an unintended reaction in someone, I can know to avoid those words when speaking to others.

    We gain our knowledge through ignorance. By failing in one instance, we learn how to avoid failure in the next. By our loss, we learn how to gain more in the future. It is important that we apply that knowledge to our decisions, and go to that meeting, or talk to that person, or ask that question, take that hill, because we know more about that decision, and recognize more of just how important it is. If we are carefully making these applications, we can easily claim ten victories for each defeat we suffer, because we aren't approaching each decision blindly anymore.

    Examine your mistakes and sources of regret carefully. Determine where and how you failed, to the most exact detail. After that, it is important to place it on an internal checklist. When in comparable situations, check your actions against it. But do not be disheartened! Everything rests on standing back up, and using the new knowledge to make your way through life. Regrets do not keep us from our lucky stars, but rather drive us toward them, and we have to keep moving.

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  4. I must say when I read the title and the beginning of the article, I was not expecting that kind of story at all. That was a very sad and inspirational story. It is also very cool that the author realizes that he has messed up and has been feeling sorry for himself, but now he will walk in the blessing of his life knowing and appreciating the people like "The Fighter" that have come through worse than us.
    I feel that I relate to the author very much so. I have done many things in my past that I look back on now and regret doing deeply. I don't believe that everyone will be able to live without regrets, but I do believe that it is what we do with those regrets that shape our lives, points- of - views, and future decisions. It is the lesson we learn from those situations we found ourselves looking back on in disappoint. We all have the chose to make, to put those aside and keep moving forward, to not let those moments dictate who we are or yet to become, but to allow for us to gain wisdom and understanding. That may be what those people who say that they have no regrets have done, they have learned and moved on and taken that moment to build themselves up, to see it in the positive instead of the negative.

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  5. I thought when I read the title of this story, I imagined it being about a father or a son who had attempted or witnessed suicide, not something as more deep and empowering as this. I, like many other people, have experienced regret, of course. More recently so, when I found myself saying words I didn't think would hurt one of my close friends. It was selfish and wrong of me to say what I did, and I didn't realize how bad I had hurt them until I had gotten home, thought about my actions, had an honest talk with me Mom and she explained to me how we all have our "wounds" different triggers that can be set when someone digs at them.
    Anyway, I struggle now with regrets in my past, thinking and then over-contemplating my life's choices. And yes, even though I'm seventeen, and some people may say that my problems are a tiny blip compared to, let's just say "world hunger", that doesn't mean that I don't sit there sometimes with blinking eyes and I remember, "Oh...that was a big mistake. Why did I ever do/say that?!"
    But, that's just when you have to re-evaluate yourself, and in my case, I pray about out, and I make sure to either apologize sooner or later, or if it's too late, just go on with my life knowing that I won't make that same mistake again.
    Not to say that I won't make mistakes, I mean, we all do. However, it's how we choose to live our lives. Say a child burns their hand after being told not to touch the stove, okay maybe they've learned their lesson. Now, if they test out their strengths when their older and touch the stove again, knowing full well that they shouldn't, and they get burned, it obviously hasn't changed their mind-set. How can you regret something you keep doing? (By choice)
    This story just made me just step back and walk away for a second because, Mrs. Caraway, I am blown away at how relevant your blog post was to my life. In a way, this may sound a bit strange, I'm thankful that you decided to write your new post about regret, because it allowed me to take a second to think about why whatever I said to my friend was wrong, and how it must have hurt them in a way, I clearly won't understand.

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    1. I am so glad it touched you and was relevant! :) That is always my goal. Thank you for your beautiful post!!

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  6. I think it is amazing that people can say they have lived with no regrets. I could say that I live with no regrets because all the decisions I've made, good or bad, have made me the person I am. I also believe that everything happens for a reason. So, the mistakes I've made are for learning lessens and becoming a better me. I would love to be a better me without mistakes. I'm sure that the young man in the article would have loved continuing his life without realizing the mistake he had mad but he wouldn't be able to change or improve. But without mistakes or regrets everyone would be in a none changing state. No learning, no success. And I believe that results in no happiness.
    On the other side of things, I could also say I have a lot of regrets. I have made many mistakes. Lied, spoke when I shouldn't have, didn't give enough effort, gave too much effort, and so much more. I wish I could take back those things. But I think that the reason I wish I could take them back is because now I know their consequences. And that is the simplest reason for mistakes, to learn from them. If we weren't effected by these consequences why would we regret them? We wouldn't have reason to. But because we know after the fact what the better choice was we wish we could do it again to avoid it. In my opinion we still can. Choices, although not exactly the same, are still alike and come up often. So the second time a choice or action is presented, don't repeat the same one you regretted.
    I believe in forgiveness and second chances and that is why I'm okay with having regrets.

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    1. I also believe in the power of forgiveness. It is often hardest to forgive ourselves, but that is, in fact, exactly what we have to do.

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  7. The article was not at all what I expected, but I loved it. I find it sad that the guy has to live with the guilt and regret of not going to Jan's house, if I was in his shoes I totally can see why he feels like an apology before Jan died would've been enough for him to move on. He didn't do that, he has to live thinking about that man's story and live with the fact that he should've done something he didn't do before Jan died. I have regrets, sure there are small regrets and big regrets but I have a few. To those people who say, "I don't have any regrets.", yes you do. Don't lie to yourself, we all have regrets, they can be small or seem insignificant at first, but when you think about it like the guy from the article, it'll hit you a little harder and make you think about your past actions and decisions more. I have many regrets.

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    1. I do, as well. But I think ultimately, forgiveness moves us all forward. :)

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  8. Okay, that was interesting to say the least. Though, I completely related to the 'feeling guilty because of one stupid decision' concept. I don't think I can focus much on the article, because I feel like it had one message and that was about regretting the actions you never took, and I can't do much else but tell my story like he did, now can I? Granted, I'm young, but I believe that by the time you're old enough to over-think and analyze everything, you have some sort of regret that you dwell on constantly. It's a horrible feeling, really. It is as if the past keeps going back in front of you and replaying the one big thing you did wrong. Although, you do it to yourself. You chose to look back upon that memory and sometimes you can't help it. I think we're getting to a point where our regrets define us and that can't happen. You were a different person with a different mindset back then, and that's why you regret it in the first place. Lucky for me, acceptance of my own mistakes comes easy. Except in once instance, of course. It's that one regret we all have and are holding onto tighter than a child holds on to their security blanket. You can't let it go, move on, forgive yourself, or anything, because there's that one ignorant voice in your head saying that you can change it. It's that voice that makes you bring the past into the present. Let me tell you something: It doesn't work, I would know. Attempting to make that moment happen again so you can finally make the right decision does not work. It is actually funny to think about it...that you think you know that the correct response was the one you ignored just because things didn't work out with your original decision. Who's to say the choice you picked wasn't the right one? The path that follows the absence of your regret could be even worse. I don't know why I can't just tell myself all of this, but like I said, it's hard to let go of your one regret. Maybe I can't let go of it, or fix it, but I do know one thing, a quote: "Never regret something that once made you smile." Basically, it means don't regret anything, because at one point, it was exactly what you wanted and thought was right for you.

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  9. This was a very well written, intriguing article. I enjoyed reading the article. It was an interesting story of how one little decision he made about not showing up to the political discussion group, was his biggest regret. I found it interesting that when he was browsing through Netflix, he had found the guy who had called him a phony. Jan Wiener was very brave to have been able to run away from the camps and still get caught, only to escape them again. I do think everyone has regrets. Even though some people might say they don't have any regrets, there is still a time where you could have put in more effort. Whether it is, if you are in a sport and in practice, or if you are studying for a test. It would lead them in a game situation where they are running up and down the court, and they remember about how in practice, he or she decided not to try as hard, and not put in that extra effort. Or when he or she takes a test and thinks to him/her self, that I should have studied more, or I should have asked for help. This was the choice that they made. It lead to a bad decision, making them have a regret. This can be their regret. Others have much bigger regrets, like if they are really passionate about something, but never took a chance to become better at it. They would live their life saying what if I did take that chance. That would be their regret. So everyone has regrets whether they are big or small.

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  10. Regret can be one of the most painful burdens in ones life. The constant toggle between what you could have done and what you have actually done can trouble you for years after the event takes place. Quite frankly, I understand why the emotion is so powerful. It displays a sort of indecisiveness which every human experiences and rubs a crucial decision making moment raw until you've rationalized everything you could have done differently to improve your situation. As someone who constantly speaks out of turn, I can safely say that I experience regret on a basis far too frequent for my taste. However, that being said, I think that we can learn a lot from our past mistakes and use that burden to grow as an individual. Through acceptance, humans have the ability to overcome their uncomforted past decisions and heal wounds which may not have been tended to at that time. The difficult part is being able to examine where you went wrong, a quality that our narrator in the passage above has managed to come to terms with whilst providing his readers with a lesson to carry on through their lives.

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  12. "There are no regrets in life, just lessons". Often times if you don't learn from your mistakes your mistakes become your regrets. But humans are not perfect and mistakes are bound to happen. Often times, we make the most mistakes when we are young because we haven't required the wisdom it takes to discover or come to the best decision. There is no shame in making mistakes because we ALL make them and others tend to recognize this, but it is when we repeatedly reenact the same mistakes and don't learn from them that we look foolish.

    I used to regret a lot of things in my life because I tried to hold myself to a certain standard of "perfection". I used to be so stressed because I tried to be "perfect" with everything until my teacher told me that we have to choose what we like and what we want to focuses on in our lives. (Not to say that we should skip group discussions at our teachers house to go make love with our boyfriends/girlfriends like in the article ).

    I really loved how abruptly the man came upon his realization in the article. It gives the reader a vivid image of what its like to not know what you are missing until its gone. I thought the author put it beautifully by saying "Jan passed away four years ago, so it’s too late for a simple apology. Debts to the living can always be repaid somehow. Debts to the dead… those stay with you".

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  13. See this is interesting considering I hardly regret anything I do or say. The way I see it everything that ever happens happens for a reason. So when I do something dumb I don't beat myself up about it, I believe you should just move forward and just learn from it. Ashlynd also used the quote 'There are no regrets in life, just lessons".

    As for the man and Jan I feel sorry for him that he couldn't apologize, but at the same time, Moving on even after she died would be hard for sure, but you shouldn't force yourself to live with that type of guilt.

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  14. I thought your comments and the article were both very interesting. I agree with you when you say its blows my mind when people say they have lived with no regrets. I cant understand it. I would like to tell myself some days that I have no regrets but at the end of the day I have so many regrets sitting heavily on my shoulders. In the article a line that really touched me was when the author said “Debts to the living can always be repaid somehow. Debts to the dead… those stay with you”. This is actually something I think about a lot with my decisions with others because you never know when the last time you are going see them again. Something like this has never happened to me, but I know of a close friend that It has and I breaks my heart. With every choice you make, with every regret that you have, they shape who you are. They are the reason of who you are today. Because of the mistakes and regrets you have in the past they have helped you push yourself to make up for the things you did wrong.

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    1. Yes--9/11 made me think of that, too. All those loved ones who died in the towers, the Pentagon and the field. What if before they left for work that day, they had an argument or harsh words with a loved one? What does that do to someone? You are right--our choices shape who we are, and hopefully we learn from them and become teachers to future generations.

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  15. In my lifetime, though it has been short, I have never felt a heavier feeling on my heart then regret. In a way, I contradict myself on whether regret is a reasonable feeling. It was okay to me during the time, it was what I wanted at the moment right? So why regret something when at the moment, it seemed okay? That's an answer I'm still trying to find, and will continue to look for.

    I cannot say I live with no regrets. I have made plenty of choices in my life I wish I could take back. I have dwelled, been sad, been angry, all because I have done things I wish I could take back, or change. My consolation in the end is that, I cannot change the past. I can only live in the present, but I must admit it's difficult to say I accept it. But, life is so short. I can only take my regrets and put them to use, make them lessons learned.

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  16. One of my favorite sayings is " Once I leave this world, I hope to leave with no regrets"
    Now that I think about it, that's really impossible. Yes, we might be able to achieve our goals, prove people wrong, and go above and beyond in life. But it doesn't matter what it is; we always regret something in life. It can be from not opening the door for someone or something extreme such as ostracize someone out of your life for good because they affect you somehow.
    Everyone lives with regret & that no matter what it will always haunt us at the end.

    This blog post changed my perspective and opinion when it came to regret. I really liked when he said "Since then I’ve lived a life - tell me if this sounds familiar - chock full of questionable choices and easily regrettable decisions. And I’ve been able to explain away or rationalize them all enough to say I had absolutely no regrets. Until I watched that documentary and realized how badly I’d blown it by not showing up for that discussion group. That is my one and only regret."
    That last line really hit me.

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    1. It hit me, too! :) I also loved what Geneva had to say about how though we will live with regrets, we learn to forgive ourselves for them and move on. That encouraged me, too.

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  17. I support the people who say they have no regrets because at the moment in time that is exactly what you wanted. I also support the ones who recognize what they regret. While reading this article it made me really stop and think about the things I thought I regretted. What the author regretted was a small event that he did not attend and didn't realize that he regretted it until 35 years later. I personally don't like to think about my regrets because I feel if I focus on the past I won't be able to focus on the future. I can't let it hold me back. Someday I will have a huge regret on something important I missed out on or make a stupid decision that I will soon regret but for now I plan to be me and see where my decisions take me.

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  18. I live my life with no regrets, Aly sort of stole the quote that I always use, but I don't regret anything because at one point it was exactly what I wanted. Sometimes I look back and consider things that could have changed, but then I remind myself that if anything had changed I wouldn't be who I am. Things happen for a reason and we just have to live our lives dealing with it and figuring out the reasons why. I don't think anyone should live with regrets in, especially the guy in the story. The person is passed, there's nothing you can do to bring them back or make up for it. You just need to continue living your life and improving yourself. I believe people with many regrets spend too much time focusing on the past and not enough on what lies ahead of them.

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  19. Ah, regrets. Such a small word, that can clearly affect so many.
    When I think about regrets, I don't think I'll ever be able to say I have none. I have plenty. I regret things I do all the time. Sending a text that I thought I sounded dumb in will make me feel regretful. Yeah, I know, thats sorta petty to feel regret over, but I think regrets are being and small. And I do not necessarily think they are bad to have.

    When I hear someone say they "Regret nothing" I just can't believe it. Because not regretting, means never being sorry for anything you've ever done. And trust me, we are all very, very sorry at times. As long as we realize that we are sorry, and accept that in some sense what we did wasn't right, or didn't feel right, then you have won the battle. Maybe you'll never express it to someone else, (you should) but if you dont, you're still okay. You have seen your mistake. And hopefully you have now seen what it takes to correct it, future or present.

    But just because you realized your mistake, and moved on, doesn't mean you dont regret it. Because anything you feel sorry about is regret. You are regretful. I'm regretful, we are all made up of these false hopes, and wrong things that we have done, and we are flawed. We will always be flawed. Accepting both is what the key is.

    It should not be,
    "I regret nothing", or "No regrets!", it should be "I regret a lot of things, but in time, I have forgiven myself for them."

    Forgiveness about Regrets doesn't erase what has happened. Forgiveness shows that you have made an effort to learn and move on.

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    1. LOVE that!! "I regret a lot of things, but in time, I have forgiven myself for them." If you don't mind, I think I will make that my new mantra on this subject. So perfectly said. Yes...I agree. We forgive...we still regret, but we forgive so we can learn and move on. Beautifully stated!

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    2. I think everyone has regrets even if they won't admit it. I think regrets help us grow and learn from our mistakes. Life is short you live and you learn. Everyone makes bad decisions or has at least once in their lifetime but you can't change the past. No ones perfect. Some people sit and are depressed over their regrets but I don't think you should. I mean ya when you make a bad decision is May affect your life dramatically but eventually you should get over it and learn from it. It's the past it happened and you can't change it so do something positive about it and learn from it.

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    3. Go right ahead. (: I'm glad you liked what I had to say.

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  20. (Published in two responses because the blog hates me. :T)

    This article was very interesting; however, I don't want to comment on it. I want to comment on your response/everyone else's comments to this.

    I think that it's ludicrous to say that you don't have any regrets. If you feel guilty for absolutely anything at all — well, isn't guilt usually coming from something occurring that you feel bad for? Guilt is typically associated with regret, isn't it? And if you're not responsible for something, you wouldn't (more like /shouldn't/) be feeling guilt; but if you are, obviously you're probably regretting something that has transpired. I just don't see guilt being a thing for you if you don't regret what happened somewhat.

    Let's look at it from a specific standpoint — the Holocaust. I suppose many Germans probably felt guilt for having no idea what was actually happening in those concentration camps, for not stopping it; most of them most likely felt guilty that they didn't know. Guilt? Why guilt?
    Well, maybe it was because they all thought they could have done something... pay more attention, question their leadership... etcetera. Guilt, in my opinion, is a companion to regret. Sort of (but not exactly, in the same situation) like yin and yang, good and evil, night and day; you can't have one without the other. Guilt, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is "a bad feeling caused by knowing or thinking that you have done something bad or wrong". That sounds a lot like it has something to do with regret, to me.

    Guilt (n.) - A feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.
    — REMORSE. Isn't that regret?

    And all of us as humans have made decisions that we're not proud of. That's a fact of life, that's something that you just can't avoid. This was probably covered by a lot of other people who responded to this; you learn from your mistakes. These mistakes help you make better ones in the future. There's no such thing as not having a regret. If you have no regret, it's safe to say that you probably haven't made any mistakes ... but here's the thing. No one is perfect; there's no such thing as a blemish-free track record.

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    1. You may not let your mistakes bother you, but that doesn't mean that it's nonexistent and that definitely doesn't mean that you're living with no regrets, because apparently they're still there. You're just choosing to ignore them, or to put them behind you — but they never go away. They're the transparent elephant in the room. They're always going to be there, a scar on your otherwise "unblemished skin" — if you're one of those people that believe you live life with no regrets, I think you're wrong. Or, well, your judgement is clouded. Please excuse the general abhorrence of the following statement: saying you live with no regrets is a load of bull.

      Geneva basically covered my opinion on the matter. Just because you forgive yourself for it doesn't mean you don't regret it.
      It means that you managed to accept it.

      Now, whether or not you need to live with your regrets is a completely different topic entirely. People who are saying that they feel living with regrets are unnecessary make valid points, but I have to disagree. I think what they should say is that you don't have to let them effect you anymore, and living with your regrets doesn't particularly make you depressed or bitter.

      If you say that you are who you are because of your regrets, then you're living with them, aren't you? Aren't you letting them somewhat shape you and define you?

      Again, there's no such thing as having no regrets — and there's definitely no such thing as living without them, either. If you've thought about things you've done and feel guilt, or you've accepted it and no longer let it make you bitter, you're just letting them influence your future thought process. But, they're always there, and they will always be around to help mold you into the person you become.

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    2. (Please excuse any grammatical errors; I typed this rather quickly without reading it over. I put "are" instead of "is" in one particular sentence, I think; and even then, it probably still didn't make much sense.)

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  21. One of my favorite quotes is, "Not everything's perfect, especially in the beginning. And its alright to have a little bit of regret every once in a while. It's when you feel it all the time and can't do anything about it... that's when you get into trouble” ― Sarah Dessen, Lock and Key.

    The article for this week relates to my life right now because I am a firm believer that one mistake can affect the rest of your life. I believe that there is no such thing as a life without any regrets. Even though I am very young I already have regrets. Currently in high school, if I get one B+ that will make the deciding factor of whether or not I will get into Stanford or U of A. It is crazy how one grade can change my whole entire life. I have found that I need to start considering in life, that there are possibilities for self-discovery in every mistake we make. In the end, what really matters are the lessons that we learn from those mistakes and regrets.

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  22. That was such a touching story. I totally agree that guilt is a good motivator. It’s a motivator to do better next time. I have a lot of regrets. That might sound horrible, but honestly, I think the more regrets the better. The more regrets we make the more we learn about life. Regret is a sick feeling; like when you go to the fair and are too scared to ride that ride and you watch all your friends get off with huge grins and great memories. It’s such a belittling feeling. Unfortunately, instead of learning and forgetting, I hold on to my past choices and kick myself when I think about them.

    At first, I was kind of surprised that the man who wrote the article was so upset when all he did was miss a couple of meetings. But, it becomes clear why he was so bothered. He didn’t regret missing the meetings. He regretted the way it made a man, who had been through so much. It might not have been a big deal to him, but it was a big deal to Jan.

    When I was 8 or 9, there was an elderly war veteran named Mr. Gene that attended my Church. Mr. Gene would hand every kid a 50 cent piece after the service. He did this more than once. Almost every week, I believe. I spent all those 50 cent pieces (or lost them). That’s one thing I regret. I wish I would have realized how valuable those tokens were. They may have had small monetary value, but that simple act of kindness from a sweet old man is something I can ever get back. Sometimes the smallest things can mean the most.

    On a side note, the more and more I learn about WW2 and the personal stories, the more amazed I am at what so many innocent people went through. I cannot imagine being a Jew or a member of another persecuted group during that time. Jan’s story makes me so thankful that I live the life I have. I am so blessed.

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  23. That story really made me think about regrets. Personally, I think regretting things isn't really a good thing. To me, regretting something means that you regret learning from your mistake. You shouldn't regret what you learned. You can regret that you didn't do better the last time, but I don't think someone should regret making a decision because now they know better. They guy from the article learned that he shouldn't turn something down for a selfish thing. Sure, he regretted not going to the Fighter's seminar, but now he knows that if someone asks him to go to one, he should go to it because he can learn something really inspirational about people. Now he knows better.

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  24. This is a wonderful story about regrets. It's presented so simply at first, the regret of letting down a teacher, and evolves into the story of a potentially life-changing opportunity. Which he wasted. I think this really sums of the idea of regret. Usually, it's small things that we look back and realize would have changed our entire path, should they have occurred. The interesting thing I noticed was how the author didn't spend much time postulating on what would have happened had he attended the event. Whether this was seen as unimportant, or whether it plays into his regret remains a mystery. Overall, it was a fascinating read, and definitely presents something to think about.

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  25. I like to tell myself I have no regrets. This is a complete lie. Regrets are inevitable. There will always be something you look back at and think, wow, I should have done this, I should have said this, or I should have thought this. It’s part of being human. Regrets come with hindsight. Looking at a situation after the fact always brings about what could have happened to improve the situation. There is really no way to avoid this. What can be avoided, though, is getting stuck on a regret. It’s done, it’s over, and it won’t come back. The writer of the article had a great opportunity but missed it. There’s no use dwelling on it. Thinking and wishing won’t make it come back. All you can do is face forward and use regrets to learn what should be done in the future. The past is the past and it’s in a place we’ll never reach. The future, however, can be touched.

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  26. I now for a fact that I have regrets, and plenty of them. No matter what angle you look at it from you will always feel regret, you can try and cover it up but you may always hold on to the feeling of true regret. An interesting point to make about is that many people don't feel regret towards something until it is to late to fix it. Once you have lost your chance to make up for something, you start thinking about it more in-depth then ever before, this can also make regret an amazing motivational tool for some. Depending on the person and what it is that they regret they can change anything about themselves to try and fix what was wronged.

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  27. Everyone around the world has made a bad decision in their life. These bad decisions usually lead to regrets. No matter what people say, everyone holds a regret inside of them. The person in the article held regrets. He made one bad decision early in his life, which changed his life forever. People should think about what they are about to do before they do it. All it takes is one bad decision, and it could change your life forever. This makes me think in my own life on how I should be more careful with the decisions I make. I don't want to end up regretting something I did for the rest of my life.

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  28. I have many regrets for someone who has only been here for 17 years, but none of my regrets will ever weigh as heavy on me as the regret of ditching those meetings. In a moment we feel like our whole world is going to collapse and we will never be the same again but we're always wrong. Sure regret sucks, but it's a necessary evil. Because we all learn from it and help someone else not go through the same thing. My biggest regret is never being close to my Grandparents, but I obviously had no clue at the time that the time I had with them would be so short, and I was to young to even think about it. Especially my Grandma, because even when she was here she wasn't. But this regret all boils down to me being shy, I defiantly regret as a child not pushing through my shyness and connecting to people. To not be able to share the same memories of a person than the rest of my family is really upsetting for me, especially because when I was able to realize how important they are and were they slipped through my fingers and lost that small memory of me all together.

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  29. I, very much like every other person in this world, have made more than my fair share of mistakes. I suppose I do regret a few of them, but, to be quite honest, with me, it's one of those "Out of sight, out of mind things". I mean, of course, they'll come to mind when I'm half asleep, and then my stomach starts to hurt. I think, out of everything, I most regret not saying goodbye to my mother the day she left. Granted, I didn't know she was leaving my life forever. When she said goodbye, I thought she was going to the grocery store. But, then, she, of course, never came back. When she left, I didn't bat an eyelash. I want nothing more that to go back in time and hug my mother one last time.
    But, generally, this does not weigh on me in my every day life. I'm content. I have other petty mistakes on which I can dwell. No need for the hardcore regrets.

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  30. Regrets, to me, are something that you needn't worry yourself with. Although I do find myself from time to time thinking: "What if I did this differently?" I still find that if I did have the power to change my regrets, I wouldn't. Life is made up by regrets. If people didn't regret their decisions in the past, then they may end up making the exact same mistake again. Regret is the way that people learn. If there is something terrible as a repercussion of doing something, then you won't do it again. I personally choose not to think about regrets, because they can't be changed, and even if I could, I would not attempt to change them. My life is nice the way it is. I enjoy it. So I accept my regrets, and choose not to spend my time and thoughts on them.

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